Almost 4 y-o wants to nurse again!

[Asparagus78]

and I have mixed emotions over it...

DS1 will be 4 in 2 months. He weaned at almost 3, when I became pregnant. It was his choice to wean, perhaps because my milk was drying up, although I could still express quite a bit. Anyway, it was a smooth transition, and when the babe was born, he started asking for mommy milk again, but would not latch, so I started expressing about 5 oz a day for him. I would manually express while nursing the baby, and he would sip it while I finished nursing. About 2 months ago, he stopped asking for milk, and I didn't offer. Now, he screams that he wants to nurse 4-5 times a day. I offer expressed milk, but he says he wants the breast. So I offer him the breast. But he won't latch on, he just grabs the nipple between his teeth and pulls. OWWWWWW!!!!!!! I've tried to show him how to latch, but he won't do it. He's usually very good at learning and following instructions (he learned to tie his shoelaces and write his name after being shown only once...). Should I discourage him from nursing and just offer expressed milk, or should I try to get him latched on? DH says he's weaned so there's no point in teaching to nurse again (although he does support him still getting BM). Also, to be honest I'm also a tad uncomfortable BFing such a big kid (he's 40 lbs!). It just doesn't feel cuddly; it feels awkward. Thanks for any advice.

[karika]

I would continue to offer the breast when the LO asks for it. But it needs to be comfortable for you. Explain that the milk only comes out if you put your mouth on it a special way and show him. Tell him when he was a baby he knew how to get the milk out, but now he is such a big boy he has forgotten. Tell him he can relearn, but he will need to be gentle. My feeling is that it is a sibling issue that will resolve if you give no resistance. He may even enjoy just having his hand on your other side when you are nursing the new one. dd1 said she wanted to nurse again many times since dd2 was born (dd1 weaned at 3.5 and was 5 when dd2 was born). She put her mouth on me a few times, but never actually suckled. She did say she got milk a few times and seemed satisfied with it. Then she started saying it tasted like dd2's mouth and she didn't want to. I even offered to express into a spoon. I think my saying ok and encouraging it was all she needed. We talked about how they used to be her boobies and how it felt to see the new baby nursing. We talked about all the feelings as we tried those few times in those early days. Then for awhile after she decided not to nurse, she was fascinated with looking at them and seeing the milk drip out the other side, and she wanted to hold them a few times... but now she is done with it all again. I am really hoping I can go longer with dd2, 3.5 seemed too young to wean to me, but I was very skinny and was beginning to get ill and her dad wanted to take her out of state for a vaca for 10 days... so we had a cold turkey weaning... that was why I was so ok with her saying she wanted them again, I feel very guilty about how she weaned...

[Katie T]

I do think they will ask just to see if it is still ok. DS did this and I would let him (totally on your comfort level) I would definitely have a talk about how it hurts you when he clamps down and pulls. He is getting to the age he will probably understand (depending on the child of course).

Once I let DS do it like 10 to 20 times over about a 12 month time span he hasn't asked in a long time.

[D_McG]

I would not allow that and wouldn't feel guilty about it. I weaned DS around 2. 4 is well beyond my comfort level (for me!). I have a 4 year old and the idea of nursing him gives me the heebie jeebies. I think it's OK to be done and gently direct his attention to bonding activities that feel right to you. (OTOH I know people nursing kids around that age and think nothing of it. It's just not for me).