Kids walking to school

[Earthy Mama]

We live just around the corner from my dds' charter school. Literally 8-10 houses away. They only have 1 street to cross with a crosswalk and a nice long view to make sure there are no cars even close to coming towards them. They are 7 and 11. I have been letting them either walk or ride their bikes to school without me for about 2-3 months now.

My mother and at least 1 neighbor are horrified at my decision. I apparently am being a neglectful parent by not walking them. They're obviously either going to be kidnapped or mowed down. I even go an extra step by having them call me when they get to school so I know they actually arrive. It is literally a 3 minute walk.

I KNOW that I am being a good parent. They are thrilled with the amount of independence I let them have (and I am thrilled that I don't have to get dressed so early!).

Please just reassure me that I'm not being slack and these people are crazy.
I mean, my mom used to let me walk to school at 5 and 6 by myself! But, according to her, there are more pedophiles around then ever before.

[DariusMom]

Gasp! I'm horrified . . . .

My DS (7) walks to school by himself on occasion and we live about the same distance from his school. I tend to walk him because he still likes it and I work from home so it's not a big deal. Plus, it's fun to see what's going on his class daily. But when I've been sick, suffering from insomnia, or what have you he's been more than able to walk himself. In fact, come to think of it, when I had strep throat and DH was out of town for work, DS walked himself to school and he was *6*.

Like you, I grew up running all over town (literally . . . ) but now my mom is super paranoid about DS' safety. Apparently "things have changed." Nothing much has changed other than the 24 hour news cycle that leaves us all super paranoid that pedophiles are lurking in the bushes to snatch our kids at every opportunity.

Obviously, I'm happy there's greater awareness of dangers that kids can encounter, how to say "no", how to be cautious, etc., etc. But, really, this extreme fear and protectiveness doesn't do anyone any good.

Not interested in debating with people who choose to do it differently. I'm all for everyone doing what makes them feel comfortable. But just wanted to weigh in for the OP and say, "I'm with ya'!"

[Hey Mama!]

My girls walked home from school, they are 6 and 8. The only reason they didn't walk to school is because I had to take another child. Last week I let my 8 year old walk my 4 year old to summer school, eat breakfast, and walk home alone. My kids' walk is less then 5 minutes. I agree with the previous poster that the only thing that has changed is the fear-mongering that is prevelant in the media and society. Now parents think they have to be with their child 24/7 and never let them out of their sight.

[Earthy Mama]

Thank ya! I also want to add-that they want to do this. I would never make them walk if they didn't want to. Well, walk alone-I'm not driving them that short of a distance!!

[Breathless Wonder]

I forget where I read it, but apparently, the crime rate in the US is lower than it was in the 1970's when many of us walked to school every day, and were just fine. Heck, I used to ride my bike all over town from age 7 on...

Have you seen this blog?
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

Ultimately, you know your children and your area best. You know what your kids are capable of handling. But unfortunately, you are going to get comments, because at this point, the mainstream sees children having freedom as parental neglect.

[Earthy Mama]

Originally Posted by Breathless Wonder

Ultimately, you know your children and your area best. You know what your kids are capable of handling. But unfortunately, you are going to get comments, because at this point, the mainstream sees children having freedom as parental neglect.

I think this is what upsets me the most-that my mother doesn't think I'm capable of knowing what is right for them. Mostly she is very supportive, but on this issue, I'm completely wrong.

[mamaofthree]

not to sound like one of those sorts of people, but back when i was growing up we walked 7 blocks to elementary school, and then over a mile to Jr high. YET, when i told my mom i was letting the kids ride their bikes around the hood, she freaked and said she wouldn't do that in this day and age. lol when i was growing up i got on my bike and just rode around all day. my mom had no idea where i was. lol
i have heard that about crime also, that it is less now then in the 70's. i think it is just reported more and news flashed so much it gives the impression it is way worse.

i think it is a good thing to give them that little bit of space and trust.

h

[DariusMom]

You know . .. . I'm wondering if all our moms (those moms who let us run all over in the 70s and early 80s) are now feeling slightly guilty/abashed/chagrined that they gave us so little supervision and this makes them over-react to how we're raising our kids?

Not sure . .. It's just that the responses to this thread got me thinking because my mom is like this re: how DS can run around our neighborhood and play and runs to the corner store for me and such (all of which I did as a kid his age) and it seems lots of other people's moms are reacting in a similar way.

Just interesting to contemplate . ..

[LittleBattleAxe]

We're a halfmile from school and my children walk when they want to (or ride bikes). They have to cross one very busy street, which is manned by a crossing-guard. Lots of kids walk -- some with parents, some without -- if there were no crossing guard I might be more hesitant -- but there is. Not sure why so many people seem to think we have to have our kids hooked up to continuous GPS monitoring in order to ensure their safety. You're fine. It's nice that they enjoy walking.

[Marsupialmom]

Horrified ---- my 9 year old walks a mile to the pool and library by herself! She can go to the grocery store with a small list of stuff and purchase it to. Then there is a Chinese restaurant she goes to also.

[lotusdebi]

You're being a good parent. Kids need opportunities to practice independence. They need more freedoms and responsibilities as they grow older and more mature so that they can learn how to handle them. People don't automatically know how to handle things in world. They need practice. As kids show that they can be trusted to do more things, we need to allow them the opportunities. Locking them up/ sheltering them, and then tossing them out once they're adults leaves them ill-prepared for life's many challenges.

What you're doing is allowing them to grow and experience in age-appropriate ways. Keep it up!

[lovermont]

Originally Posted by DariusMom

You know . .. . I'm wondering if all our moms (those moms who let us run all over in the 70s and early 80s) are now feeling slightly guilty/abashed/chagrined that they gave us so little supervision and this makes them over-react to how we're raising our kids?

Not sure . .. It's just that the responses to this thread got me thinking because my mom is like this re: how DS can run around our neighborhood and play and runs to the corner store for me and such (all of which I did as a kid his age) and it seems lots of other people's moms are reacting in a similar way.

Just interesting to contemplate . ..

I was wondering if it's because our kids seem younger than we did. There is now approximately twice the age difference between our kids and our parents than there was between our parents and us (so my oldest is 23 years younger than me and 45 years younger than my mom). Our parents also don't (typically) spend as much time with our kids so their perception of said kid's ability to navigate life may lag when compared to reality.

[Storm Bride]

DS1 was walking about a mile (maybe a little more, actually - I haven't ever measured it) to school every morning when he was 11. I can't even imagine being concerned in your situation, to be honest. I probably wouldn't let a 7 year old walk as far as ds1 was walking, but a 7 year old doing a 3 minute walk with an older silbing?? Not an issue.

I understand that people want kids to be safe, but we don't give them enough credit.

[Earthy Mama]

Originally Posted by lovermont

I was wondering if it's because our kids seem younger than we did. There is now approximately twice the age difference between our kids and our parents than there was between our parents and us (so my oldest is 23 years younger than me and 45 years younger than my mom). Our parents also don't (typically) spend as much time with our kids so their perception of said kid's ability to navigate life may lag when compared to reality.

that's a possibility. Though in my (and my mom's case) I have a 9 year old sister! She's pretty sheltered, too unfortunately.

[Owen'nZoe]

Add me to the list who doesn't see an issue. My 5 year old doesn't walk to school (because it is a mile away), but he is able to walk that far to a friend's house alone. He has never done (or not done ) anything to make me doubt that he is fully capable of handling the freedom we've given him.

This is just an aside, but we live in a socio-economically mixed neighborhood, with some of our neighbors below the poverty line, and others well into the 6-figures. In my experience here, the amount of freedom the children are given seems to be tied to income levels - I find it just fascinating, and keep wondering if this is true everywhere. My wealthier friends in the neighborhood are the ones who are horrified that I let my kids roam with 'the pack', as they call it, and some are quite judgemental about it. I admit that their criticism made me doubtful at first, but now I can see how much more responsibly (as a whole - they still make some pretty dumb mistakes ) the roaming kids act with no supervision, and I feel firmly that I made the right decision for my kids and my neighborhood. As a PP said, kids really need practice being responsible for themselves and making the right decisions with only the little voice in their head to correct them. Giving them these little freedoms is a great way to get that practice.

[Earthy Mama]

Originally Posted by Owen'nZoe

Add me to the list who doesn't see an issue. My 5 year old doesn't walk to school (because it is a mile away), but he is able to walk that far to a friend's house alone. He has never done (or not done ) anything to make me doubt that he is fully capable of handling the freedom we've given him.

This is just an aside, but we live in a socio-economically mixed neighborhood, with some of our neighbors below the poverty line, and others well into the 6-figures. In my experience here, the amount of freedom the children are given seems to be tied to income levels - I find it just fascinating, and keep wondering if this is true everywhere. My wealthier friends in the neighborhood are the ones who are horrified that I let my kids roam with 'the pack', as they call it, and some are quite judgemental about it. I admit that their criticism made me doubtful at first, but now I can see how much more responsibly (as a whole - they still make some pretty dumb mistakes ) the roaming kids act with no supervision, and I feel firmly that I made the right decision for my kids and my neighborhood. As a PP said, kids really need practice being responsible for themselves and making the right decisions with only the little voice in their head to correct them. Giving them these little freedoms is a great way to get that practice.

I think you're right! I live in the same type of neighborhood-it's downtown with a mixture of bungalows and Queen Anne style Victorian homes. Apparently, kids who hang out are obviously in gangs.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by DariusMom

You know . .. . I'm wondering if all our moms (those moms who let us run all over in the 70s and early 80s) are now feeling slightly guilty/abashed/chagrined that they gave us so little supervision and this makes them over-react to how we're raising our kids?

Not sure . .. It's just that the responses to this thread got me thinking because my mom is like this re: how DS can run around our neighborhood and play and runs to the corner store for me and such (all of which I did as a kid his age) and it seems lots of other people's moms are reacting in a similar way.

Just interesting to contemplate . ..

I think you're on to something. I played alone outside for hours from age 4 on. In grade one I took a streetcar and then a bus to school, or walked over a mile. Now my mother freaks out that I let my almost-5-year-old play on our front porch alone. What???

OP, it sounds just fine to me.

[MusicianDad]

My kid would be walking to school with that short a distance. Actually we are a bit farther from her school and she walks to and from. She has for a couple of years now. An 11 yo should be able to get her and her sister to school with no problems on that short a walk.

[berry987]

Good parent alert!!! Your kids are benefiting from your ease with the world....they will grow up more self-assured and confident.

[TiredX2]

Another "don't worry about it" vote.

My kids often walk to the bus stop (which is at the nearest elementary school) from our house--- it is a few blocks, approximately 1/3 of a mile. They are 11 & 8 and the general consensus is that I am crazy to EVER walk with them. DD (11) is the only one of her class or the class below that is picked up (and lives in the neighborhood). I'm guessing many of DS' friends will be walking home alone next year (8). For the kids who actually go to the local school it is common even for 6 year olds to walk "alone" (there are crossing guards & it is a walking school so you're not really "alone").

Please try to just laugh it off.