Co-sleeping with 2nd baby

[laspgh]

We are expecting our second baby in October and are planning on continuing to co-sleep with our first child. This pregnancy was a surprise, so my first child is much younger than I thought he would be when a sibling joined the family (he's 10 months now, will be 15 months when the new baby arrives).

Here is my concern: during the night, he sleeps pretty well cuddled against me and wakes if I get out of bed. I'm worried about how to make sure he gets enough sleep when I'm getting up with the newborn (with my son each time he got up we were up for about an hour).

Has any one else dealt with this issue? Should I start encouraging him to cuddle with my husband more during the night - if so, how?

Any advice is appreciated!

[ellairiesmom]

congrats!!!!

different situation/scenario here but i'll share what is going on in our bed...

we transitioned dd1 to her own room/bed halfway through our pregnancy with dd2 & she was excited about it & did pretty well. it was right after her 2nd bday. prior to that, she was with us & still nursing frequently during the night. once in her own bed, dh would handle middle of the night wake ups & sometimes would even end up falling asleep in there after. so they did start cuddling at night & she slowly got used to the idea that daddy would be there instead of mommy. around that time i had to stop nursing her because it was just hurting my nipples so bad while pregnant. so it was a lot going on.

after we came home with dd2, dd1 comes in our bed in the middle of the night most nights. we are ok with it as long as she is not disruptive & goes back to sleep.

we have a king. dh & i stay on the outside of the bed. i use my snoogle pregnancy pillow in the middle to allow myself & dd2 the room we need. i keep her in the middle of me & the snoogle pillow. when dd1 shows up, she climbs in & lays down next to dh so that the pillow is between her & the baby. i do switch sides once in the middle of the night so i can change positions & nurse on the other side a little. when i do, i put the pillow on the outside to protect dd2 from the edge of the bed.

the 1st 6 weeks or so-i was nervous bringing dd2 into the bed, so i used the cosleeper & would nurse her on the boppy with me sitting up. if dd1 was in the bed with us, she usually slept through it. and i even had the tv on while up nursing.

i know your ds is younger but i think if you start setting up the scene now he will adjust. and it's nicer to do the adjustment before the new baby gets here.

hope i made sense. nak.

[angelachristin]

we put a twin bed next to our california king for DS. We made it special with special finding Nemo sheets, etc. It is right up against our bed, so essentially it is the same bed, he can touch me still but it's his own little spot. Our setup goes from left to right, DS on Nemo bed, me, DD, DH. When DD was a newborn I had a boppy pillow in between her and DH as a barrier just in case. Now that she is bigger I don't use that. I don't switch sides during the night because I don't want DD next to DS, I just nurse from both boobs while on my left side. This works for us but I don't know what would have happened if my DS was younger, at 15 months it would have been rough. Good luck!

[SollysMom]

We cosleep with both our boys (DS1 is 2.5+ and DS2 is 6months). DS did and still does nurse at night. When DS2 was born, we were worried about him waking DS1 and vice versa, so I slept in another room with him while DH slept with DS1 in our room. Whenever DS1 woke, DH would try to get him back to sleep himself, but usually ended up bringing him to me to nurse. After he was asleep, DH would carry him back to bed. Sometimes we would fall asleep while he nursed, and if so, DH would just bring him back whenever DS2 would wake and need me. This actually worked pretty well and he was down to just one waking per night plus early morning (at which point he would just stay in bed with DS2 and me), and he even STTN a couple times. But when the baby and I re-joined them in our room, he started waking to nurse more often again and now he probably nurses more than his brother at night.

[lovermont]

We played musical beds. We transitioned ds to his own bed in his own room about half way through pregnancy with dh sleeping in his bed from first wake up on (2-3am). The plan was to sleep with ds between dh and myself and the baby between me and a guardrail or potentially swapping kid spots but we were feeling cramped as it was with ds in our queen bed. That is what I would suggest trying if you want to keep everyone in the same bed.
Having said all that.... your second dc will be different (may not require that you be up for an hour at each waking). We didn't bother putting up the crib for dd as we hadn't used it for ds until 7 or so mos. At 5 mos I realized dd slept much better after dh left our bed and she had more room. So we set up the crib, put her in her own room, and she slept great!
Now both kids share a full size bed in their own room and they both sleep well (ds is FINALLY sleeping through the night - it took him way longer than dd to figure out). They have never woken each other up (ie when one wakes up - no matter how loud - the other one stays asleep).

Congrats on your surprise baby! I am one of four and there are 4.5 years between the youngest and oldest and we're all alive, successful, fullfilled adults It's obviously hard, especially in the early years but my mom always says it was nice to know that when the diapers were finally packed away they were gone for good, when the tricycles were sold off in a garage sale she knew she'd never be on the hunt for another one for a younger sibling, etc.

[laspgh]

Thanks for all the suggestions and encouragment! I have a feeling there may be a bit of trial and error before we figure out what works, but having ideas of what to try makes me feel better!

[Katie T]

My Ds was 21 months when DD2 was born and coslept. I put him in the middle between dh and I and then DD2 was on the edge with a gaurd. My worry through my pregnancy was how to get 2 to sleep since I nurse/cuddle them till they sleep. But it all worked out just fine. Ds took to cuddling my back while I nursed DD2 to sleep and then I would carefully roll over and cuddle him. Worked out great and almost 2 yrs later this is still what we do.

Congrats on the pregnancy, it will all go just fine.