There are a couple of shows that, if i recall correctly seemed to do a pretty good job with adoption. One was Judging Amy which got cancelled ages ago. Amy's brother, a mild mannered guy, and his somewhat overbearing but well meaning wife plan an open adoption with a young woman. There are a couple possible fathers but not sure which is the one until she gives birth. The baby comes out and is AA which is a surprise to the PAPs but they are happy to adopt him. At some point the bmom comes back and says she wants to raise the child, and takes him away, but several episodes later she realizes she isnt equipped to parent him and asks the family to raise him, which they do. There was a moving episode in there somewhere where the amom has some post-adoption depression and says she can't raise the child (dont know if it was after the baby was returned to bmom and then offered back or what) and the dad says, well, he is my son, i want him, i'm choosing him. I'm his dad, and i'll raise him on my own if i have to. It was out of character of him to stand up to his wife, and yet he did so for the sake of his son.
Another show that i think did a somewhat quick/simplistic but fairly accurate portrayel was Brothers and Sisters. The character of Kitty and her dh decide to do a private domestic newborn adoption, and she goes through all the emotions of being nervous before the homestudy, of having to write a "dear bmom" letter etc. Its tv, so they were matched almost immediately. The bmom was a doctor doing a residency, very motivated...a good episode where Kitty cant wrap her mind around this successful woman wanting to place her baby, fears she will regret it, etc.....also, the baby and bmom are AA, and while its mentioned it isnt the focus. The adoption seemed to proceed w/o much drama (no reclaiming at the last moment for example)....
A couple of really horrid movies about adoption come to mind...one "The Baby Dance" with Stockard Channing. Omg. This older couple decides to adopt a baby, and are somehow matched (through a lawyer maybe? my memory is fuzzy) with this poor married mom of several kids, living in a trailer, somewhere in the south where its really hot. The potential Amom goes down there to meet her, and its all just so....ugh. Not ethical. And the bmom is planning on telling her kids the baby died at birth. And then the baby is born, and there is something potentially wrong with it, but the movie is very very vague about it, almost like there is just the potential for issues but no diagnosis or anything. And the PAPs just leave the bmom and baby at the hospital and say they cant do it and walk out with an empty carseat. And the bmom is stuck, she's already told her kids the baby died and cant support another baby anyway. So the baby is just left at the hospital and you're given the impression she will end up in an institution or orphanage or something. Right.
Another awful movie...well, i dunno, i guess i LIKED the movie but the PAPs were presented in a pretty awful light and the adoption program (i forget what country, somewhere in south america? central america? cant remember...) was oh gosh, i cant remember the name now...it was "Casa" something....but all these hopeful moms stay in this country for an extended period of time and you get insight into their motivation for adopting and a few of them are downright awful.
I remember an episode of a cancelled show "Windfall" i think was the name (about a bunch of people who win the lottery), in the final episode, one of the characters who has now left her husband (but is not divorced) decides to adopt a baby from China, and hops on a plane to go do that...so unrealistic. i realize its "just a tv show" but there should be SOME shred of realism ESP if its a drama.
Or at least it took about that long, and was approached with that easy of an attitude. From Adoptive Families Magazine:
