Open Adoption - your experiences

[chickeedoodle]

I'm looking to hear about other people's experiences with open adoption and the relationships with the birth parents. Good, bad or otherwise. We're considering open adoption, but are unfamiliar with how the "openness" really works, despite reading lots of books.
Thanks for any input!!

[Polliwog]

I'll be back to tell you a bit about my open adoptions but what type of adoption are you considering?

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

Can't write a long reply right now, but this recent thread may be enlightening (if a little intense at points).

[chickeedoodle]

We are considering a Domestic infant open adoption. Thanks!

[chickeedoodle]

WOW- that was quite the thread - thanks for pointing me in that direction!

[Smithie]

Glad to be of service.

One thing to point out, though - that thread was mostly talking about adoptions secondary to involuntary TPR, and it sounds like you are talking about adopting an infant whose birth mom has placed him/her voluntarily. A very different kettle of fish, in terms of what kinds History you're dealing with and what kinds of contact you might decide to allow. I, for instance, am the queen of No Identifying Details in my own social-services scenario, but sending updates with photos and exchanging real names with a birth mom who'd selected me through an adoption agency seems pretty noncontroversial to me.

[catwalkermi]

Our Open Adoption

Our adoption is a little different because we started out by going though an agency and then were brought to our son through a family connection (my cousin works with our son's birth great-aunt). It's a long story, but we ended up working through an attorney and have an out of state adoption.

The one thing that we were very adament about was having an open adoption for the sake of our son. It's been amazing and VERY open. More open than we would have had we stayed with our agency. We just had dinner tonight with our son's birth great-aunt and second cousins, and we are in constant communication through Facebook with his birth grandma and grandpa.

The situation is unique, but it works for us and we're so happy that our son will always know his birth family and extended family. When we travel to see our family that's out of state, we'll also visit his birth family.

Before we were able to get on the waiting list for our agency we had to take several online courses about adoption. I strongly encourage you to do the same. We went through http://www.adoptionlearningpartners....c_adoption.cfm and took the Let's Talk Adoption course and the Missing Pieces class. Both were wonderful. We also did the Journey of Attachment class.


Cathy

[chickeedoodle]

Actually it was a great thread to read, because we have talked about doing adoption through the state foster-adopt system, and I had no idea that open or semi-open was even an option through the state. More things to keep me thinking and researching!

Originally Posted by Smithie

Glad to be of service.

One thing to point out, though - that thread was mostly talking about adoptions secondary to involuntary TPR, and it sounds like you are talking about adopting an infant whose birth mom has placed him/her voluntarily. A very different kettle of fish, in terms of what kinds History you're dealing with and what kinds of contact you might decide to allow. I, for instance, am the queen of No Identifying Details in my own social-services scenario, but sending updates with photos and exchanging real names with a birth mom who'd selected me through an adoption agency seems pretty noncontroversial to me.

[Polliwog]

It's not always safe or healthy but when it is, it can be wonderful. And there are so many possibilities of what openness can look like. My son and his bio sister will celebrate their birthdays in a few weeks. We're going to picnic at a lake with their birth mother, grandmother and some other assorted relatives.