hitting

[Ish'smom]

My son is three and he loves weapons and super heroes and play fighting. I didn't really get time it seemed to think about when these things were ok to introduce because of all the males in the family, DH and his uncles. Anyway, it wasn't a problem until recently, a smaller problem comparatively is that he walks up to kids he doesn't know and tries to play fight with them without introduction. But recently he has started hitting when he is angry or in inappropriate ways. Last night he punched his Dad in the face because he tried to pick him up and carry him to bed when he didn't want to go. This morning he was playing with his pet rabbit and started punching it. That was just too much for me and I just lost it. ( yelling,agast, removed the rabbit, ranting, and crying) I dont like violence it sickens me. I was ok with the playing hero but if that is to blame for the other behaviors then I dont want any of it. The other day he punched some little girls at the park because they told him not to pet their dog. He seems to understand that hitting people is not okay but then it keeps happening again.
Hitting an innocent creature is not okay on any level. I was just so horrified I couldn't even try to put it in any perspective that allows for his age or the fact that he told me he was trying to play with the rabbit. He is usually so gentle with animals, and also with babies and girls(boys he trys to play fight with) But recently the hitting has increased. I just dont know what to do.

[Mrs.Burke]

i know that's upsetting. you could talk to him about what superheroes should be and since he's playing superhero he shouldn't be hitting harmless people and pets and things. it would also help i guess if you choose the movies and cartoons he watch. if you don't get any good result with this approach then you could always seek professional help. hope things get better on you soon.

[momshelper]

For a three year old this is common behaviour as is slapping, kicking and biting. Hard to take but common. Everyone dealing with him has to react the same way. I had to deal with a biter. Try and anticipate the reaction and distract him before it happens, remove him from any situation when you think he might punch and very firmly tell him no when it does. When he is punching people he is lashing out because he is still learning about the complex set of emotions that he cant yet verbalise. My own children are 17 and 13 years old but I look after two 3.5 year olds and I can quite clearly see parallels between my 13 year old and the younger ones. They are growing up and their reactions are changing much like a rebellous teenager struggling with major hormones!

With distraction, firm "no's" and removing him from other children when I thought biting was a possiblilty worked. Hopefully it can work for you too.

Good luck

[wildmonkeys]

I think the last poster gave good advice. Remember that this is a developmental phase that he is working through rather than a character flaw. Minimize situations where you think he might hurt or upset other children or animals and deal with it in a straightforward way.

I don't know that I would connect it to super heroes, my oldest was a super hero kinds of kid and he never went through a hitting phase whereas I have seens kids struggle with hitting or biting who don't have any interest in heroes or other fighting characters.

Hang in there!