tense baby?

[Ldogg]

My DD is almost 3 months old, and I'm starting to wonder if she's generally a bit on the tense side (both DH and I have struggled with anxiety, so I'm particularly attuned to this). I don't think I would call her high-needs per se, but she is definitely a sensitive baby--she startles easily, needs to suck a LOT, seems rattled and harder to settle after social events, still balls up her fists a lot, and breathes heavily a good amount (even when nursing sometimes).

She has a few medical issues as well... including a relatively innocuous blood disorder that leaves her a bit anemic, as well as mild reflux and now a bit of eczema under her chin.

Anyone else experience these kinds of things? Any tips on what to look out for, or strategies that work well with you? I really try to be as mellow as possible with her, and keep a semblance of routine when possible, but reality sometimes interferes!

[tzs]

hey there.
i also have anxiety disorders and my husband's family also has their share of "stuff" so i find that i sometimes over-analyze things when it comes to the babe. i think b/c we want what's best for them and don;t want them to have to go through what we do. i just make a real effort to push any thoughts of "is this anxiety?" or "does this tantrum mean she is going to be tempermental like her dad?" right now they're just babies and alot of what they are doing just has to do with being babies.
my husband also did the same thing when she was a newborn. i think she was clenching her fists or whining or something and he said something to the effect of "anxiety like her mother." i think he's learned since then that she was just being a "baby." and at 9 months now she has been the most easygoing kid.
don't worry about it, save the worrying for when they;re teenagers

[Ldogg]

Thanks tzs, I think I needed to hear that. Sometimes it's so hard to tell at this point what is 'just being a baby' (she's my first!) and what is worthy of action. and you're totally right, I of course want her to feel safe and relaxed because *I* have struggled with that at times. And I don't want to miss any warning signs that in hindsight will make me feel idiotic for not following up on, KWIM?

I guess this is the hard part about loving someone so intensely, yeah?

[tzs]

yep. and then you not only worry about her behavior but then you start worrying about YOUR behavior and setting a good example. but ya know, i've had full-blown panic attacks at the grocery store and in addition to the regular panic attack worry then i also worry about how seeing me like that is affecting her (i mean, i'm not even sure she would be able to perceive it )but she's always just la-la-la, so happy to be out and in the shopping cart.

i think if anything, looking at the positive, not only is your/our situation not going to be detrimental to them but also hopefully it will give me motivation, the reason, personal experience, and real-life example that she may witness to raise a child who is compassionate to differences in others and other peoples' feelings.

enjoy her!