Why do people have this idea that homeschooling is some sort of nefarious front for child abusers?

[annettemarie]

Once again, I've had one of those bizarre conversations where someone has defended PA's annoying homeschool law by saying "You're a great homeschooler, but there are lots of people out there who just use it as a front for child abuse."

Other than on Law and Order, how often does this actually happen? I mean, there was a case in California once I think. But I would think the people who really want to neglect their kids wouldn't want them around all day.

I'm just trying to understand where the stereotype came from.

[Lillian J]

I think that when people who don't know anything about a subject, and aren't comfortable with it in the first place, hear of one sordid incident involved with it, their imaginations just project that image onto the whole thing. - Lillian

[annettemarie]

I'm curious also, because I've researched it and can't find anything--do states with more robust supervision of homeschoolers catch more abuse? do the homeschoolers to better?

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I think that when people who don't know anything about a subject, and aren't comfortable with it in the first place, hear of one sordid incident involved with it, their imaginations just project that image onto the whole thing. - Lillian

That's what I suspect but I wondered if I was missing something.

I hate having it directed at me, even if I am "a good one," whatever that means. It feels yucky, like someone saying "all *insert group here* are *insert negative stereotype*-- oh but not you! We like you!"

[philomom]

I have never heard such an argument.


What I have encountered were unschooled kids that I personally thought were neglected ... but I'm hoping that was a rare circumstance.

[SagMom]

I know of several news stories that involved abuse/neglect where the kids were not enrolled in school. The media reported that they were hsing.

I suspect that the parents claimed to be hsing in order to avoid the truency issue--not that they were intentionally hsing, but they gave that as the reason why the kids were not in school, once the fact that they were being neglected came to light, kwim?

Of course, living in a regulated state wouldn't solve this problem.

It feels yucky, like someone saying "all *insert group here* are *insert negative stereotype*-- oh but not you! We like you!"

Agreed. I have also been told this, and it makes my skin crawl!

[limette]

Wasn't there something about this in England in the past year? There was a case of abuse and they were using it to put restrictions on homeschooling?

[spedteacher30]

As a former public school teacher, there were times that the red flags were starting to fly about a family's situation and we were beginning to think abuse/neglect (the presentation is rarely as cut and dried as people think) and as we were working with the family/child, the family would decide to home school and the child would disappear.

I certainly don't think that all home schooling families do it to cover abuse, or that all abusive families home school, but there is a small minority who "ruin" the image for the rest of you.

[zinemama]

There are websites devoted to extreme Christian fundamentalists who homeschool, and the lifestyle described - the strict gender roles, the corporal punishment, the shunning of outside influences - could certainly be described as abusive. This sort of link gets passed around. Perhaps the publicity associated with that mormon fundamentalist thing (YFZ) heightened this idea for some people who don't know much about hs'ing in general.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by zinemama

There are websites devoted to extreme Christian fundamentalists who homeschool, and the lifestyle described - the strict gender roles, the corporal punishment, the shunning of outside influences - could certainly be described as abusive. This sort of link gets passed around. Perhaps the publicity associated with that mormon fundamentalist thing (YFZ) heightened this idea for some people who don't know much about hs'ing in general.

You're probably onto something. I find it hard to believe that's the majority of homeschoolers (although I would love to see stats). There is this stereotype that we're all holed up in the mountains, stockpiling weapons, waiting for Jesus to come back. And truth be told, I do live in the mountains, many of the people in my group probably do have weapons (the big event at our last picnic for the 13 up crowd had something to do with modified nerf guns; I don't know because I just ignored that email ) and many of them do espouse religious beliefs that probably involve waiting for Christ's return... and I wouldn't classify one of them as abusive.

And thanks, all, for letting me talk this out. It is really gnawing at me and bugging me. It was a school board member who I thought was a friend who got snarky with me. Interestingly enough, I've had nothing but positive feedback from actual teachers.

[sha_lyn]

I was having a conversation the other day with someone I had jsut met (we have a mutual friend). Something she said about being judged made me think of those who say that homeschooling is a cover for child abuse. I said that I have ran into a few online that claim that the only reason anyone would homeschool would be to hide abuse. Well she piped up something like "not all but most" and went on the tell me that she was worried about the children of a friend of her that homeschools because she doesn't like the way the friend acts toward her (the one that I was speaking to) son and that it worried her to leave him alone with the friend.

My husband changed the subject real quick because he knew I was about to go off. Later when I thought about it I wish I had told her that she just told me enought about herself to make me know I didn't want to be around her. That if her concerns weren't made up then she was an idiot for leaving her son with this freind and that she derserved to have her son taken away or if she really didn't think this. Then she was an idiot for thinking that she could just make stuff up to justify her uneducated opinion of homeschoolers.

[sha_lyn]

And thanks, all, for letting me talk this out. It is really gnawing at me and bugging me. It was a school board member who I thought was a friend who got snarky with me. Interestingly enough, I've had nothing but positive feedback from actual teachers.

Reminds me of somone that was running for state school superintendent a few yrs ago. She claimed that people homeschool in GA to use their children as slave labor on family farms.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

You're probably onto something. I find it hard to believe that's the majority of homeschoolers (although I would love to see stats). There is this stereotype that we're all holed up in the mountains, stockpiling weapons, waiting for Jesus to come back.

Oh, I'm sure that's not the majority! But on the other hand, those folks are a lot more memorable once read about than the description of some typical homeschooling family studying fractions.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by zinemama

Oh, I'm sure that's not the majority! But on the other hand, those folks are a lot more memorable once read about than the description of some typical homeschooling family studying fractions.

*sniff* Are you saying my pizza fraction lesson isn't newsworthy?

I was thinking, too, there are lots of news stories about abuse that happens in schools. But that doesn't mean I think all schools are evil or that all teachers are in the job because they're secretly waiting to have a love child with the 15-year-old in their homeroom. I just wish people could accept the two as equally valid choices.

[lach]

Originally Posted by zinemama

There are websites devoted to extreme Christian fundamentalists who homeschool, and the lifestyle described - the strict gender roles, the corporal punishment, the shunning of outside influences - could certainly be described as abusive. This sort of link gets passed around. Perhaps the publicity associated with that mormon fundamentalist thing (YFZ) heightened this idea for some people who don't know much about hs'ing in general.

That occurred to me too. However, I'm not sure that most people are really aware of that lifestyle. At least where I am. I've tried to tell people about the Pearls and they literally do not believe me that such books exist or that anyone reads them.

I think a lot of it is that people fear what they don't understand. And they don't understand why you wouldn't run to sign up for 6 hours of free babysitting a day, unless you had some sot of nefarious purpose.

And every once and a while a horrific child abuse case comes along, and often part of the neglect is that the parent doesn't send the child to school: not because they're homeschooling, but because they are so neglectful that they can't even bother or because they pulled them out as soon as CPS came sniffing around. And suddenly the headlines are about HOMESCHOOLING FAMILY IS ABUSIVE. That was what happened with that really awful case a few years ago, where the mother was starving her sons so they were like 19 years old and 35 pounds, or something really extreme like that. I think it might have been in Washington DC? A teacher had called CPS, so she pulled all the kids out of school. She wasn't educating them, she had no intention of educating them, but all the headlines were about how they were homeschoolers.

I think, and someone could correct me, that the infamous case in California that made homeschooling illegal in CA for a short period of time was actually about abuse. But that got very little coverage in all of the news that I read, both from mainstream and homeschooling sources. I thought that was very interesting. I did finally read that CPS had been dealing with the family for 20 years, there were lots of charges of inadequate nutrition, clothing, and supervision, as well as suspicions of physical and sexual abuse. And THAT was why the judge had ruled that these particular children should be in school, where there would be some supervision to make sure that their basic needs were met. But, if that's true, for some reason it was really hushed up. I can see why the homeschooling sources would want to, as it does feed into the "all homeschoolers abuse their children!" stereotype, but normally the mainstream press is all over that.

[lotusdebi]

There's an article in the latest Secular Homeschooling magazine about the Pearls which discusses the connection between their book and homeschooling.
Warning. Disturbing content: http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/011/pearls.html

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Once again, I've had one of those bizarre conversations where someone has defended PA's annoying homeschool law by saying "You're a great homeschooler, but there are lots of people out there who just use it as a front for child abuse."

Other than on Law and Order, how often does this actually happen? I mean, there was a case in California once I think. But I would think the people who really want to neglect their kids wouldn't want them around all day.

I'm just trying to understand where the stereotype came from.

i spent 10 years in foster care -- as a shelter staff, as a foster mom, and at a group home.

I did have kids that where abused, and homeschooled. (and the family ussaly tired to make issue that they were being attacked for homeschooling )

duh

there are good and bad parents everywhere -- good and bad parents that go to church or vax or don't vax, godd and bad parents that have their kids in sports or don't.

*shrug*

I don't think parents USE homeschool to abuse -- maybe some do since school is a frequent place abuse is found out -- abut i do know that some parents abuse and homeschool.

I think that for anyone to use that argumet "adgeinst" homeschooling is so silly i am not sure it mertis ANY responce.

JMHO

[cappuccinosmom]

I think more and more (thanks to certain books/blogs/websites) people are conflating conservative Christian homeschoolers with abusers--that anyone who looks a certain way or believes what might be called "fundamentalism" is either an abuser or teetering on the edge. There are lots of c.C. homeschoolers, and they're fairly visible. I think unfairly broad generalizations are being made that affect people's views of who they see as "representative" of homeschoolers and thus of homeschooling in general.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by philomom

I have never heard such an argument.


What I have encountered were unschooled kids that I personally thought were neglected ... but I'm hoping that was a rare circumstance.

I think it can be very difficult from the outside to judge what is and is not neglect in an USing situation. Lack of food and regular medical care? Neglect. Eating bags of chips and watching TV all day - not necessarily neglect. Of course, the situation you witnessed may be clear cut...I am just putting this out there as a general FYI.

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

As a former public school teacher, there were times that the red flags were starting to fly about a family's situation and we were beginning to think abuse/neglect (the presentation is rarely as cut and dried as people think) and as we were working with the family/child, the family would decide to home school and the child would disappear.
.

As someone who does not always trust CPS, if I had children in school and the school started asking question I did not like, I might decide to HS as well. I would consider it protecting my family. That does not mean i am abusive or neglectful...it simply means I do not trust the system to always be reasonable or get it right.

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

I did have kids that where abused, and homeschooled. (and the family ussaly tired to make issue that they were being attacked for homeschooling )

JMHO

I have met familes that were not white, or ultra religous and felt they were being persucuted because of their differences. I think it is somewhat natural when you are being accused of something (like abuse or neglect) to wonder if the fact that CPS may have biases against certain people/ beliefs comes into play.


I have met families that are too lazy to get their kids to school. Their kids always go to school (sporadically) and they never claim to HS. In the world of neglect, the parent often does what is easiest for the parent - and committing to HSing full time is not easiest. Moreover, in many places, HS does involve registerring with the state (etc) and I cannot see someone who cannot get their kid off to school bothering to do that.

I do think some HS abuse and neglect their kids - abuse and neglect cut across all walks of life. I do not think HSers are any more likely to than anyone else - and I totally reject the idea that "many people use it as a front for abuse".

[Roar]

While they may be statistically insignificant, there have unfortunately been enough memorable instances of severe abuse, and murder, of children who are currently not enrolled in school that the connection exists in many people's minds. I believe the best response to this is not for homeschoolers to dismiss it as unimportant. Instead we should be up in arms of the use of homeschooling as a cover for abuse or neglect. At the same time, we need to make it clear that overall homeschool regulation doesn't really do a thing to address this problem. If people genuinely want to abuse or neglect their kids they simply will go underground and not register.

Most typically in the new stories I've seen where the family is listed as homeschoolers this is most typically a fairly new status - a year or two or less. It happened after the school and CPS had become involved. For this reason, when a child is leaving school when there have been concerns about abuse, those situations merit further monitoring knowing that many of the adults who could keep an eye on the situation are no longer in contact.