Stealing names- naming etiquette? - Page 2

[Woodland]

Originally Posted by texmati

is anyone else terribly curious as to what the name is? OP I live in texas, you can tell me!!!

LOL haha!

[BethMama]

LOL

The name is Canaan.

[paintedfire]

Originally Posted by BethMama

LOL

The name is Canaan.

Well, that is very unusual. Pretty, but unusual. I definitely think he got it from you. Pronounced Kay-nen, right?

[HeatherB]

FWIW, I love it! I think it would go well with my youngest, Judah.

[Sharlla]

Originally Posted by paintedfire

First come, first served.

yep, use the name
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[Sharlla]

Originally Posted by paintedfire

Well, that is very unusual. Pretty, but unusual. I definitely think he got it from you. Pronounced Kay-nen, right?

nice, i wanted Conan if we had a boy
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[BethMama]

UPDATE:

I wrote to them last night, and very gently reminded them that we told them Canaan was in our top two names for boys months ago, that obviously we don't own it, but that we still plan to use it.

My SIL wrote back and said that Canaan has been their #1 boy name since last fall when they began ttc last fall. Hmm. Then why didn't they say something when I told them Canaan was our boy name, and why didn't they tell us it was on theirs? She said she wasn't even aware it was on our list!! Malarky!

The tone of her email was "Well, this is our name, but you can use it if you want to." !!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaarrrgh!!!! I would be WAY less upset if she had just said they loved the name when they heard it from us and want to use it.

Dh is completely sold on this name, but now I don't really want to use it because I feel it loses it's uniqueness if his cousin has the same name.

Any MORE thoughts or advice? Or commiseration?

Thanks, gals.

[Lousli]

Do either of you know the gender of your babies yet? It could be a moot point, right, if you both end up with girls?

If you really want a unique name for your son, even though you like this name a lot, I'd say to try and think about it a little more, maybe make a list. If either you or your SIL is planning to find out gender before the baby's birth, it might not ever come up again anyway. And if you do both end up with boys, then you can pull out the list and start talking with dh.

[SilverFish]

ddccing here, but you've brought it up, heard what they have to say, now i think it's probably best to drop it. if you DO end up having a boy and he's born first, feel free to use it. chances are they won't use it if you do, because even if THEY think you stole it, everyone else will just think they're weird for using the same name. if you don't have a boy, there's no point in making a fuss about it now.

it sounds like your brother really didn't remember that you shared that name, and even so, it sounds like your SIL might be "in charge" of names anyway, so if your brother didn't tell her about your conversation, she regards it as hers.

if they DO decide to use it regardless, oh well, it's really not the worst thing in the world to have cousins with the same name. they might even think it's really cool to have the same name. but IMO, it's not worth making a big deal about it before you even know it's really going to be an issue.

it's so funny how touchy the name thing can be. my sister and i almost came to blows (joking... but not really ) over the fact that we both wanted to use the same middle name for a girl. in the end, we didn't both have girls, and we also realized it would have been a nice bond for two cousins to share that special name anyway. but we weren't able to calmly come to that decision until both our babies were in arms and we realized we had over-reacted some.

[Ammaarah]

Originally Posted by BethMama

Any MORE thoughts or advice? Or commiseration?

Thanks, gals.

Tell them Canaan is off your list and Malarky is on it. Then see if they snitch that name - it would serve them right!

Normally I don't get excited about name threads, but I can understand your position here and it would bug me too.

[BethMama]

My SIL was in on the name conversation, and recounted in her email the other names dh and I had mentioned, so I'm sure she knew. Maybe they did forget, maybe it seeped into their subconscious and they thought it was a brand new name, but..... I would doubt it.

They do know the gender, we don't, so yes, it may all be a moot point, but this is the only name dh and I have fully agreed upon. I have one more on my "list", but he's not sold. Now he seems more determined than ever to use Canaan!

At this point I'm trying to convince dh to forgo the name (SIL said they were using it even if we do), because I think there would be hard feelings on our part if we both ended up using it, whereas if I can get dh to agree to this other name, that would be our son's name and we may never think about it again.

[lilmiss'mama]

Just some commiseration! I would be so annoyed if I was in your situation! I think the name would be spoiled for me if someone I knew was going to use it with a child so close in age to mine. AND I can hardly believe that they would use it even if you guys used it first; that seems ridiculous to me.

[camprunner]

Can you use the name as planned and also give him a middle name that you love almost as much. Then you can just start calling him by his middle name if things get too uncomfortable?

[dejagerw]

This is a tough situation. I totally agree that you should be able to use the name. I can however, believe that MAYBE she somehow came up with the name all on her own, and your brother didn't even tell her the name. Maybe.

That being said, if your baby comes first it will be apparent to everyone that she used the name after you had already taken it. No matter what the story is, she will have named her son the same as yours. But really that's no big deal, more of a compliment to you for picking a cool name. (my husband has a cousin with his exact name, first and last). You could always just try to make a point of telling the story "we both independently came up with the same name!!" That way there's not negative feelings around it.

Now if you decide not to use the name, and don't want her to either, you could start making up a bunch of reasons as to why you don't like the name anymore, and maybe that will spoil it for her??