Ugh! I didn't know it was an all girls party...

[hipumpkins]

I received an evite to birthday party for what thought was to both my kids. Both kids are friends with the girl.
I replied that we were coming, me plus 2 kids.
Nothing on the evite said, all girls or your daughter or anything like that but it was Barbie invite. I just figured the little girl like barbies and maybe that was the theme she chose.
So now I find in my email a little "reminder" i hoping my DAUGHTER can make it and that they need an exact number b/c of goody bags for the GIRLS.
YIKES!
Both my kids know about the party. I think my son will feel badly b/c he is as a good a friend to this girl as my daughter.
and I just invited her to my son's party not realizing he was NOT invited to hers.
ICK!

[titania8]

woah, that's not cool! i don't even know how i would handle that, but i couldn't not respond! pretty craptastic if you ask me.

[eepster]

I would call at this point with your RSVP number. That way you can figure out what is up.

Can you tell if it was a mass email she sent to everyone? It might just be that most of the guests are girls so she worded it that way. DS went to a party for a friend from his music class. He was only one of 2 boy (and the other boy came with his twin sister.) Not to surprisingly it was pretty girly, but DS was definitely wanted (he's an only so no miscommunication.)

[hipumpkins]

I did not realize until I saw a little reminder in my email that both my kids were not invited to the party. I am wondering if it is all girls b/c of theme or if (A) just wants all girls. If it is the theme can Michael still come b/c he likes Barbies, too. He gets along well with girls b/c a majority of our homeschool group is girls
Thanks for considering

I just sent off that email. I am hoping she just says he can come b/c I see she has a few Nos already.
If not would you just bring your daughter? we are not family that says, "for only girls" or "this is boys only" but I can't really put my beliefs on someone else.

[LuckyMommaToo]

How old are the kids involved? Around here, at age 6 or 7, it's common for kids to begin doing gender-exclusive parties. Which meant that DS, who was the only boy left in our playgroup (with five girls, we started when the kids were infants), started not being invited. Honestly, it was harder for me than him. But we weathered it.

I think it's fine to only invite your DD and not your DS. Sometimes, it's an easy way for a parent to control numbers.

I'd probably drop DD off and then bring DS mini golfing or something. Hope you can find a solution.
-e

[EviesMom]

I would just bring your DD unless the host tells you otherwise. You have to break it to your son, but there will certainly come boy only parties as well. I've done a single gender party, just because it was the only way public school allowed you to invite less than the entire class. We also did a very frilly and pink party for that party, much more so than for any of her other parties, and while 1 of DDs male friends would have loved it, most would have been annoyed and bored TBH.

[4evermom]

Well, you already rsvped for two kids and the invite didn't specify only dd so I'd totally bring ds. The mother will know to be clearer next time if that wasn't her plan. Do you think the reminder email talking about daughters and girls was some sort of passive aggressive attempt to be clearer?

[titania8]

OP- did you get a response to your email?

[hipumpkins]

Oh I totally forgot. Yes I did. My son is more than welcome at the party

[lucysmom]

That's cool. But had you received a different response, no, I would not have taken my daughter and gone along with excluding my son. I really don't get why people accept gendered exclusion of kids who have somehow managed, by age 6 or 7, to remain friends with kids not of the same gender. It does a lot of damage.

[carfreemama]

I'm dreading the day this starts to happen with dd. She's 6 1/2 and is just finishing primary. She has always had equal numbers of boy/girl friends. Once she was the only girl invited to an "all boys" party. I love that she plays with both. If she or the boys start to change that, I will miss their parents too! I know sometimes it's the kids who want the exclusive parties, but in my experience so far, it's been the parents. Dd went to one girls only party this year and she asked lots of questions about why. She didn't get it; though it was the mom's way of controlling numbers within school policy, as a pp mentioned. I really think I would say no at this point if dd asked for an all-girls party. There would be too many hurt feelings. Her choice would be to do something with just one friend and/or the family in that case.

I'm glad your ds is welcome!

[wildmonkeys]

This does happen as kids get older. If it is a really good family friend who is a girl and is having a "girls only" party - we will often have the kids get together and do a little celebration on their own.