Need book rec

[Morgana]

DH and I need to read up a bit on the whole AP thing. I'm starting to get the impression that we're not on the same page. Our lives are so crazy busy so I think I'm being really optimistic to think we'll be able to find time to read anything but I think we have to make the time.

If you could only read one book which one would it be? Something that inspired you to say "YES! That's how we need to raise our children!"

[ssh]

I really liked The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. The book is about how parenting effects a child's neurological and emotional development. It goes into the long term biological benefits of co-sleeping and nurturing parenting. She specifically tells you how CIO does permanent damage. She approaches behavior from a developmental perspective so the book helps with having realistic expectations and has practical advice on how to prevent and deal with unpleasant behaviors. It's very easy to read. I found it through inter-library loan and then bought it on amazon. Amazon does give you abit of a preview with it's "look inside" http://www.amazon.com/Science-Parent...der_0756618800 . The parts on how different types of play nurture cognitive and emotional development was really cool. The book didn't give me a "That's how we need to raise our child." but more of a "WoW! That's why all this nurturing is so important."

Another book I really like is Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Kurcinka. The book helps you identify your child's temperament traits and then helps you know what to expect and how to deal with behavior based on your child's temperament. Her Kids, Parents and Power Struggles is really good too.

[mom2grrls]

It's hard to narrow it to one but one of the first I read that made me want to read more is Kida Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso.

[Morgana]

Thanks for the recommendations ladies!

[Quinalla]

I really liked Parenting Effectiveness Training for a book that gives a good system for how to do it (there are tons and tons of good books that explain why you want to be AP) and also gives a lot of real-world examples. This is by far my favorite for putting things into practice.

[BetsyNY]

Kids Are Worth It is great. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn is my cornerstone, also How to Talk So Kids Will Listen (and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk) is a great one, esp. if your kids are older.

[mokey4]

DH and I have not always been on the same page, either, and we still disagree about certain things. But on the big things, we agree. And we are able to talk about our areas of disagreement and agree to disagree on some things .

Anyway, DH is turned off by a lot of the AP literature, while I soak it up like a sponge. I love Alfie Kohn, DH thinks he's a pseudoscientist (DH is a physicist and can be a bit of a snob about social scientists and psychologists, esp educational psychologists). But getting him to read a bit of Unconditional Parenting helped him understand my perspective, and he may have soaked up some of the ideas through osmosis or something. I think a lot of the UP concepts were more natural to him than to me.

Anyway, books that we both like are the Dr Sears baby book and T. Brazelton's Touchpoints. I think that Touchpoints has some stuff in it that I don't agree with 100% (he's not really an AP author), but the overall idea is very good- I think he is right on with developmental milestones and what is appropriate at each age. I just got the Attachment Connection by Ruth Newton from the library, and it seems really good though I've only read the first chapter. It came highly recommended.

I'm also reading Playful Parenting, which I find extremely helpful. It has helped change my attitude about play and when to be serious, and I think it makes parenting more fun! I'm not going to bother giving it to DH to read, because he'll say it's common sense. In a way it is for him, he is a more playful person.

anyway, go get a bunch of books from the library and read whatever you can- sometimes just skimming a book and reading a couple of key chapters can be helpful! We own Brazelton and Sears and I just get everything else from the library.

[BeanyMama]

If I could only pick one, it would be How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.

I adored Kids Are Worth It and Between Parent and Child (the latter is one of the very first "AP books"), too.

[sgmom]

Originally Posted by ssh

I really liked The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. The book is about how parenting effects a child's neurological and emotional development. It goes into the long term biological benefits of co-sleeping and nurturing parenting. She specifically tells you how CIO does permanent damage. She approaches behavior from a developmental perspective so the book helps with having realistic expectations and has practical advice on how to prevent and deal with unpleasant behaviors. It's very easy to read. I found it through inter-library loan and then bought it on amazon. Amazon does give you abit of a preview with it's "look inside" http://www.amazon.com/Science-Parent...der_0756618800 . The parts on how different types of play nurture cognitive and emotional development was really cool. The book didn't give me a "That's how we need to raise our child." but more of a "WoW! That's why all this nurturing is so important."

Loved, loved, LOVED this book. It's definitely one I would buy for a first time mother (or a second, or third, or...).