Newborn Nightime Issues - Don't know what to do!!!

[mrsgrasty]

I'm not sure where to post this, hopefully the moderator will move if there is a better spot. My sweet baby boy is a week old. Usually at night, he cluster feeds, and he's good like that until 3 or 4am. Around this time, he becomes very agitated at the breast. He will suck for a minute or two, and then start to cry. Doesn't matter which side I put him on. I don't know if he's kind of drained me for a while, or what. But at this point, I have a really hard time getting him to sleep without the help of nursing. He is crying himself to sleep in my arms (which is awful!!) or sometimes he is tired enough that if i put him in the moby, he will fall asleep while suckling before he gets agitated, and then he will sleep for 2-3 hours in there very happily.

My mom lives with us, so in a moment of new mommy desperation, I called her in a while ago. She rocked him while he cried (so he was away from my breast), and now he is lying peacefully (not sleeping). So he clearly isn't hungry. I'm wondering if its just that he wants to suck but his tummy is full. And he doesn't know how to fall asleep without sucking. Is this possible?

These are just my guesses. It is so excruciating for him to cry in my arms and not be able to do anything but comfort him. If anyone has any other suggestions as to what this could be, or some things I might try, I would love to hear.

Thanks, mamas.

[Tenk]

Has it always been like this, from day 1? If not, it could just be a growth spurt and might end soon. It's also very common for young infants to cluster feed in the evenings, in your case late at night. If he's getting frustrated it could very well be because he's still hungry and he's trying to increase your milk supply. Can you nurse him laying down to get him to fall asleep and maybe stay asleep?

these are only suggestions mama, i do hope it gets easier, and BTW, it's perfectly fine to call your mom ANY time you need her.

My mom has been coming (from 2 hours away) on Fridays to help me get things in order within the house because I've been so overwhelmed.

((((HUGS))))

[Lily's_Mom]

Originally Posted by mrsgrasty

I'm wondering if its just that he wants to suck but his tummy is full. And he doesn't know how to fall asleep without sucking. Is this possible?

My son had nights like this around that age. I would just let him suck my finger for a few minutes, and then he would calm down and drift off to sleep. I think it was that his tummy was full but still wanted to suck.

[akind1]

let him suck your finger, if he wants to suck. For us - and I know not everybody - he had a paci in the hospital, on our second day. We initially wanted to avoid it, but the fact is the baby sometimes just needs to suck; and sometimes I felt that I really needed that something he sucked on to not be me. he has never had any problem going from breast, to bottle, to paci, and has largely given up on the paci now at 6 months. But I know some do not like to use them; this is just our experience.

[beebalmmama]

My second son was like this when he needed to suck but the milk kept coming (in my case the milk was coming fast with my strong let down). He generally cried through most feedings until he was several weeks old and he got used to it. Very different from the quiet long feedings I had with ds 1. We used our finger and then a paci at about 4 weeks old and it was a big help.

Is your supply well established yet? My other thought would be if he is hungry and your supply hasn't fully established yet. Do you have milk coming when he's crying like this? If you don't have much I would maybe try comfort nursing and see if it will increase your supply. If you do have milk at those times then refer to the previous suggestion above.

[Chicky2]

I know some people (and some babies) don't like 'em but we used a paci at right around a week w/all of our babies. I just waited until I knew my supply was well established (it always was by a week or so) and then pop it in there. Baby was instantly happy.

Please don't fear that your baby will need to be broken of the paci later. Do what you need NOW, and know that all of my kids broke themselves very early on. One was 10 mos, one was 7 mos, one was 3 mos when they stopped using it!

ETA: We always used the Nuc brand, and never went past the 2nd size (we used newborn and the next size up). I think that's why they didn't use it very long, too. It didn't fit their mouths anymore, and they were old enough to find other things to suck/chew on by then.

[SilverFish]

i agree with the PPs. there are two possibilities... one, that he needs to suck but there's too much milk, and two, that he wants more milk but your supply isn't all there yet.

if there's milk leaking and you can feel or see a strong let down, i'd guess that he wants to suck but hasn't figured out how to do that without getting milk. my 3 month old has just learned how to do a light suck that doesn't trigger a let down. the first few weeks she was desperate to suck on something without filling her tummy. we used the finger and then added a pacifier at about 4 weeks (not on purpose, just didn't try it until then). now she only uses the pacifier when we're driving or otherwise unable to nurse...

if you think your milk might not be in fully or have any supply concerns, then letting him suck on anything but you might be a bad idea, but try using your little finger and see if that helps.

[mrsgrasty]

thanks for your thoughts, mamas. after thinking it over, i'm pretty positive he's getting enough milk. i think its the issue wanting to suck, but not being hungry anymore. he is just not satisfied with a finger. he wised up fast. so i went and got him a pacifier today. ( but if you all are using them, it must not make me a bad mom. it's just so miserable for him to cry and cry and not be able to fix it. and he's so tired to boot.

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by mrsgrasty

thanks for your thoughts, mamas. after thinking it over, i'm pretty positive he's getting enough milk. i think its the issue wanting to suck, but not being hungry anymore. he is just not satisfied with a finger. he wised up fast. so i went and got him a pacifier today. ( but if you all are using them, it must not make me a bad mom. it's just so miserable for him to cry and cry and not be able to fix it. and he's so tired to boot.

Well, is he happier? 2 of mine acted *just* like you described in your OP, and the paci saved my sanity. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as you offer to nurse first. You can totally tell the difference when they are sucking on the paci and would rather have boob, too. Some of these kiddos come out almost like greedy little boobie addicts. They just want it all.the.time. One of mine was never satisfied w/just having 2 "biscuits", and always had to have 3, but when she tried for 4, she just couldn't hold it, lol.

Enjoy your little nursling.

[To-Fu]

This might help:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html

[sarah1122]

Don't feel at all bad about the paci!

My son did the same thing...he wanted to suck, but didn't want the milk because his little tummy was full. We got a pacifier (a natural rubber one from Natursutten) and we would hold him while he sucked away at it happily. I felt *so bad* about it at first, but it helped my son so much.

It also proved to be a huge help in the car and allowed my husband to occasionally put my son to bed at night and down for naps.

My son is now 20 months and still an avid nurser...and that pacifier is loooong gone. He gave it up himself at about 10 months.