Discouraged Stressed, and already feeling sabotaged.

[earthmommy2]

My 1wo baby is very very uncomfortable, he cries like he is in pain often, won't nurse every 2 hours like he should. I am growing discouraged and bordering on freaking out. I have stopped drinking soda, but unsure of what other foods I should watch out on. I've read dairy can be a problem but since I had never had an issue w/ my other children. Please help me I don't want to lose it and give up, but I'm so worried that he's not eating enough!!

I feel sabotaged b/c my less than supportive mom has been here and I think she's officially forced the "plug" on him because when he's upset he'll take it and is not nursing regularly. I would just take it but he screams in such pain and agony that I don't know what else to do. Starting to think about expressing into a spoon to see if he'll take it...

[NicolleLynne]

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone... I just got back from my two week old's first pediatrician appointment and was told she hasn't regained her birth weight. I'm going to a lactation consultant this afternoon for help.

My little one also won't nurse every two hours. She sleeps for 3-4 hours and if I try to wake her to feed she just falls asleep after a couple minutes, despite undressing and tickling her and compressing my breast. She also cries after feeding and has a lot of gas. I cut out dairy a week ago to see if that would help but so far no change. In the meantime my DH offers her a pacifier to help soothe her. 99% of the time I insist he take it away but every once in awhile I give in so I can get a little sleep.

It's all so difficult and frustrating and I'm in tears a good portion of the day. I'm praying the lactation consultant can help and will be sure to share what I learn with you.

Lots of luck to us both!

[Nazsmum]

a I know that the first weeks are so hard. My friend needed to only eat chicken broth for a week. Then she put things slowly back into her diet.

Hang in there

[karika]

Dairy was definitely the problem for me with both of mine. I recommend cutting out dairy and soy. Also food colorings. Good for you giving up soda! Vicious stuff (from a hardcore soda drinker since months old... weaned to caffeine free, and now soda free for 9 months! I am thankful because it was my last bit of HFCS) I am now GFCFSF (and mostly corn and canola free) and highly recommend it to everyone. Here is some general info from kellymom site http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...l#suspectfoods

Is the baby peeing enough? Here is a checklist for knowing if baby is getting enough
http://www.kellymom.com/store/freeha...oughmilk01.pdf

Here is a related bit
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html

From what I just read, each baby is different and could be sensitive to a food even if the others weren't. Dd1 could not tolerate me eating any chocolate at all, and with dd2 it was fine, as long as it was dairy free chocolate... it will all work out just fine. Trust yourself. If you are talking about a paci, I agree you should not use one except in an extreme emergency (like in the car on a 10 mi bridge and you cannot pull over) Let us know the baby's output. dd1 ate constantly as a newborn, and dd2 slept longer periods (dd2 was a bigger newborn if that matters). The crying to me is a red flag that it is dairy, because that is how mine behaved if I ate dairy. It could also be fore/hind milk imbalance since you are likely very full as your milk just came in, you could try block feeding. I had ample supply and had to feed one side only through two long feedings to get through the foremilk. Here is the kellymom page about fore/hind milk

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fo...-hindmilk.html

congratulations on the new one!

[kittywitty]

I would cut out dairy. Could it also be forceful letdown causing reflux pain or discomfort? I have a very heavy letdown that caused those things. I learned to pull away and let the beginning go to a pump or towel sometimes. That helped.

Fwiw, my kids never did the "every 2 hours" nursing thing. Even as a newborn, my last would go between nursing ever 30 minutes to 5 hours (!!!) I know it's not what you're "supposed" to do, but that's just how she has always been and always had adequate wet/dirty diapers and weight gain. The first couple weeks are hard. If baby is having the right number of pees & poops and looks healthy and hydrated, I would not worry so much. Is your doc bf friendly? A LC or LLL around you for support?

[corysmilk]

my 3rd was like this too!! really gassey and would cry and cry. I couldn't put him down. at 3 weeks he had his toungue tie cut, and he nursed and slept. it was so amazing.

hows the latch? some babies have shorter toungues and click while nursing and can get air.

is babies toungue curled around the nipple, you can usally see it if you pull back the bottom lip.

I hope you find out what it is.

don't give up!! you can get through this

[earthmommy2]

I went to the Pedi today, I needed guidance that didn't involve my unsupportive mother, and that is hard here since I dont' really have anyone. The doc told me to keep nursing, gave me info on a probiotic he would like me to start which I can't until we get paid on Monday but I think I can make it work till then. He's been nurisng pretty good today, I pumped and have been cup feeding him a little and then once he settles I can latch him on and he'll nurse for like 20 min. I know he is super gassy, so I have tried to cut dairy as of today, which is kinda hard for me but trying my best. My mom was disgusted by me cup feeding and got up to run to Target to buy me a bottle, but my grandmother told her to just leave me the hell alone, the doc said I was doing good and that is what is important no my mother's medical biased anti BFing opinion...It was kinda priceless to watch. I know that I have been tense, I went into false labor forcing my mother to come out a week early then everything stopped suddenly. That has since been a source of tension in the home like I had any control over it. And you know once my mother came in the room baby and I started having some difficulties...hmmm connection???
Thank you all for your words and support, I'll keep you informed!!

[karika]

I have been thinking of you today. It occurred to me that the crying may also be a 'normal' side effect of vaccinations. Did your baby get those? If it is, the crying and strange behavior will subside the more days that pass since it. I am glad to see your update and that your doctor was supportive. Grandmas can be so great to put a mother in perspective. Glad you are feeling empowered!

[Bokonon]

From what I understand, it is unlikely that at 1 week old, a baby would already be showing signs of food intolerances. Have you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block"? I would highly recommend it!

[kittywitty]

My kids all showed signs within a week of food allergies-dairy. My 4th was pretty severe. I'm glad your ped was supportive! Woot!

[jessica_anne010]

I need to pot my own WTH post, but I wanted to give you big . I'm having different but just as frustrating problems with my 4wo. I hope you get yours sorted out.

[Otterella]

Infants are REALLY intuitive about adult emotions, way more so that we give them credit for. It could be that baby is picking up on your tension about your mother, and learning to associate nursing with anxiety. I suggest trying to find a calm, private, relaxing space to nurse. Dim the lights, play some calming music, and make sure your mother knows she's not allowed in. Lock the door if you have to. Start before he gets really hungry and crying, so you don't have that added stress raising your hackles and his. Before you start nursing, spend some lovey moments with your baby to get the right hormone cocktail going. There may still be some physical issues going on, but at least you'll be in the right headspace to deal with it calmly. Even if he's still upset, at least it will only be one of you stressed out, not both of you.

[featherstory]

I just wanted to add that the ''every 2 hours'' thing is not really relevant or important... you'll know your baby is getting enough milk by how many diapers you have to/need to change... if it is a problem with dairy(very likely, I had some cheese in my first week post-partum as a treat and I could quickly see the difference in dd's nursing and digestion, which had been great before that) and/or digestion try some gentle infant massage, especially rubbing the belly area towards the path of digestion. Another thing if it is digestion is to take off the diaper during feedings, I noticed with my daughter that there was stress and it was relieved quite a bit by her being undiapered...she never wet me, but I did have a towel or pad of some sort underneath... later when she was older I started EC'ing and would have a bowl or something, or even a diaper that was there but loosened.

That is really great that you're feeling and doing better, and that you're working on cutting off the dairy. You're very fortunate your doc and grandmother were there to support you, and you seem very determined and capable of supporting your son, keep working on it, and try your best to keep that "plugger" away from him, that will only exacerbate the problem, especially so early in his nursing career.

[Bebe's Mom]

Originally Posted by Otterella

Infants are REALLY intuitive about adult emotions, way more so that we give them credit for. It could be that baby is picking up on your tension about your mother, and learning to associate nursing with anxiety. I suggest trying to find a calm, private, relaxing space to nurse. Dim the lights, play some calming music, and make sure your mother knows she's not allowed in. Lock the door if you have to. Start before he gets really hungry and crying, so you don't have that added stress raising your hackles and his. Before you start nursing, spend some lovey moments with your baby to get the right hormone cocktail going. There may still be some physical issues going on, but at least you'll be in the right headspace to deal with it calmly. Even if he's still upset, at least it will only be one of you stressed out, not both of you.

I totally agree. My mother and I do not have the best relationship. Whenever I go to her house, my dd picks up on the stress and I have to hold her the entire time I am there or she cries incessantly. The minute we leave she goes back to her wonderful, calm, happy self. Stress could also limit your letdown and your milk supply. Hang in there. IF necessary, tell your mother she needs to go..Your child is the most important person in your life right now.

[sosurreal09]

these ladies have given you such great advice and im just going to second the reflux thing. that sounds very much like reflux. My DD has reflux and it just started really improving at 8 m/o.

[tinybutterfly]

Moved to the general Breastfeeding Forum because this is a more commen problem.



tinybutterfly