Join me: I'm pregnant and have children with a large age gap and/or age spread

[Breathless Wonder]

The title says it all! I'm looking to connect with other expecting moms who have large age spacing between children,and/ or a big age spread among their children.

I am currently pregnant, due in January, and I have both- a large age gap (my youngest is 7, and will be almost 8 when the baby is born) as well as a large age spread (my oldest will be almost 18 when the baby is born). I have two other children as well.

Anyone else?

[rlandnl]

I am 29 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 and our son just turned 7 last week. we were told we couldn't have more children without IVF/ICSI (how our son was conceived) so we didn't really think a miracle would be a possibility but here we are.

I am a little nervous about how DS will react once the baby is here and he sees the change in routine. He is Asperger's and Anxiety already, so that doesn't help matters, but for now, he is over the moon excited because he's always asked for a brother or a sister.

[frolick16]

I am 36 weeks +, and my youngest is going to be 7 in October, my oldest is going to be 17 in September and the child formerly known as the middle child will be 12 in January...so they are all 5 to 6 years apart and it feels crazy to be starting over!

[MyFullHouse]

Ours will be a spread, but no big gaps (at least, not by my definition). Most of my kids have/will have gaps of just under 4 years with a single 13 month gap, for a total of a 12yr4mo span. I'm nervous about eventually having a teenager and baby at the same time.

[PrincessWinnie]

My son will be 6 when this baby comes. I do regret not considering TTCing much sooner, but I've been running my own busniess which contributes significantly to our income, so for a few years I really had to focus on making that work. I'm trying to look at the bright side that DS will be more of a "helper" and will be in 1st grade (all day)which will free up a lot of time and give me time with a new baby.

[Earthy Mama]

DD1 will be a few weeks shy of 12 when the baby is born and DD2 will be almost 8. So, 7.83 year age gap and 11.94 (lol) year spread.

Both girls are psyched and are thrilled to be old enough to help. DD1 already claimed every dirty diaper. Hahahaha. We will see how long that lasts.

[Lisalee2]

Another large age gap here! My ds will be 9 (almost 10) and my dd will be 7 when this baby is born. At first, I panicked a little. But I'm trying to look on the bright side, that they will be much easier to handle with a newborn around than a toddler would be. Also, they're pretty good with chores so I know the house won't get nearly as messy.

[mistymama]

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with #2 and my ds is 7, he'll also be almost 8 when this one is born!

I'm very excited and think this age gap is going to be perfect for us. Ds has Aspergers and was a very, very difficult toddler/preschooler. As he's aged, he's grown into the exact opposite .. he's EASY and a great helper now. There is no way I had the time or energy for another child when ds was younger, but now .. not only do I have the time and energy, but ds is super excited and I have no doubt he'll be a big help to me! He's even excited about helping to change cloth diapers!

I think there are lots of positives - ds is in school during the day, so I will have plenty of one on one time with the baby. He's going to be old enough to help and be very involved - I was 6 years older than my sister and loved helping with her. He is also old enough to help with chores, entertain himself sometimes & not need my constant care and attention.

For us, this spacing could not have been any better. There is just no way I could have met ds's needs and cared for a baby at the same time .. at least, not have done either job as well as I would like to.

Glad to see I'm not the only one with large spacing!

[Lisalee2]

One of the harder things I'm dealing with now is getting my baby stash going again. We gave away or sold almost everything we had for a baby years ago.

I still have my Kozy Carrier, which I loved, and a little bit of clothes we saved. But that's it!

So now my question is, is it tacky to have a baby shower for baby #3?

[LionessMom]

not pregnant right now but i have a large age gap. my oldest will be 15 this month. DSD is 6. DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 8mo. DS was 11 when i had my 2nd baby. but DSD has been around since birth so he was 9 when she was born.

[CherryBomb]

We've got a bit of a spread. When the baby is born, our girls will be 9, 5, and 2.

[terra-pip]

I'm expecting my third. My oldest is 7 and my youngest will be turning 3 in July when baby is due. I don't think that's a large gap, but I am expecting 7 year old son to be easy, it's the 3 year old I worry about. We homeschool as well and oldest son is on the spectrum so that's what concerns me most of all...finding time to give all my kids the individual time they need. We're not having any more children so I know I'll eventually get into a routine that works and not have to worry about it being upset by another pregnancy later.

[lilmiss'mama]

To the PP who was asking about a shower...Do it! Every baby deserves a shower/celebration! IMO, it's not tacky at all!

My girls will be 8 & 9 when this baby is born; they both want a baby brother.

My oldest is thrilled & my youngest is coming around. In her words "I like being the youngest in this family!" She is very good though with friends/relatives babies so I think she will be ok.

In some ways this will be so much easier this time around. With the girls I was basically a single mother. Now I will have so much help with both girls & my wonderful DP.

I do have some anxiety about having an infant again! The girls are becoming more & more independent and I really like that. Sleepless nights...someone always needing me...

[Manessa]

My daughter is 12 and my son is 9. We are expecting another little girl in about4 weeks. So, we've got a pretty big gap here. I'm looking forward to really enjoying this baby in a way that I didn't with my other two. Pretty sure this is our last, and I want to savor every moment. My older two are very excited about having a baby in the house, so I think it will be fun (and exhausting of course!)

[corysmilk]

yes mine are almost 4 years, then dd turned 6 the day after I had ds#2, and ds#2 will be 7 when this one is born. and this is my last one.
i actually don't think the age gap is very good. my dd STILL is very jelous of her brother. but there is no other way I could do it. Parenting is very hard for me. I have to really work on being a good parent. I have mental health issues- axiety and other stuff.

[sunshinejanie]

I'm expecting dd #4 in August. My youngest is 9 and my oldest will be 15 or close to it (i'm due the 8th and her bday is the 11)at the time.

[Lisalee2]

Originally Posted by lilmiss'mama

To the PP who was asking about a shower...Do it! Every baby deserves a shower/celebration! IMO, it's not tacky at all!

Thanks! I'm thinking we'll probably have one. I know my kids would love to have a little party for the baby.

[Terrilein]

I'm 39, expecting baby #2 in approx. 4 weeks and my dd just turned 9 in April. She's really looking forward to finally having a sibling. So far. As for the baby shower, go for it. I mean, I don't have much left from when dd was a baby except a few items I used when I was an inhome daycare provider. I never had a baby shower and most likely never will. It's just not a German thing. They're really superstitious about celebrating a new life before it's born or making big purchases before the baby arrives.

[lisko15]

Pretty big age gap over here too!

My DD is 7, my stepson is 12, and baby-to-be is due in two weeks.

DD has gradually gotten more and more excited and is really happy to be a big sister at our house too (she has a baby brother at her dad's that just turned 1). I think she will be a great help. Baby is due the week she gets out of school for summer vacation. She hasn't agreed to change any diapers, but she does promise to "get me stuff". I'm excited to enjoy a relaxing two months off of school with her and getting used to being a mommy to a newborn again.

I'm not sure what my stepson will think - 12 is a funny age, and he's a boy (so no motherly instincts there). I know he will love it once baby Caleb is old enough to mimic him (and say things like "poop").

This time around I do plan to savor his babyhood more. I am in a MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more supportive relationship, with a very invested hubby and daddy. I also will be working way less. All bonuses for this little guy!

The only thing I see sad about the big age gap is that the kids rarely are playmates for each other. Every once in awhile DD and stepDS do "play", but its getting less often as he gets older. It will be the same thing for DD and baby-DS. I suspect they will be friends as adults and really enjoy each other (he will love her to entertain him, I'm sure), but never "playmates" like siblings only 2-3 years apart.

I'll try to find this post and update a couple weeks after baby arrives and we see how things really go!

ETA: As for the baby shower - if someone offers to give you one, I say go for it! I ended up with a rather small one, which is what I wanted, but because of its size, many wondered for weeks if I was having a larger one. For us its the first baby of a 2nd marriage for us both, so special in other ways.

[lillymonster]

Is 4 years big enough? DD will almost be 4 when #2 is born. I am not having any more after this one. At first I wanted them to be closer together, but DD was very high needs, she had a lot of food allergies and SPD issues, and didn't eat (only nursed) until she was 2 1/2. It was very hard and stressful and I didn't want to add another baby in the mix because all my attention was on DD.

But I am from a larger sized family and there is a big age gap. My eldest sisters are 13 1/2 years older than me, and the sibling closest in age is 8 years older than me.

My DH made a very good point to me once. He knows (and so do I) a lot of people who have siblings close in age, and they don't get along, he doesn't get along with his sister and there is only a 4 year age gap. On the other hand, my family, my sisters and brothers are close, even with the large age gap (although even though I am 39 and they are 53, they STILL treat me like they are my mother ) What is weird is that I am almost as close in age to my nieces and nephews - oldest ones are 23, so that is 16 years, only 2 years difference between the age gap between my own sisters! (my eldest sisters are twins and happen to have children at the same time)

Sorry for the ramble, I just find it interesting.