Hmmm... 2 year old and hitting Help!!!

[mamalove1]

SO Dear Friends, my 27 month old has started hitting. When she doesn't want to nap, she its. I sat her on the stairs to have a talk with her about drawing on the furniture, she hits. She hits both DH and I. I don't think she is doing it to inflict pain or hurt us but to see a reaction. I try to keep my reaction low key and say "Ouch, that hurts. It makes me sad when you hit me. Hands are not for hitting." ANd for the record, we don't spank nor is she in daycare to see hitting. Help?????

[laughymama]

I'm not sure if I have any helpful advice.

For us it's a lot of reminding and repetitive days.

If we're playing with him and he hits we will say, "Ow! That hurts. I don't want to play with you when you hit." and we will get up.

If he is angry that he's been told he cannot do X, Y or Z and he hits one of us then we say, "Ouch! If you're angry hit the floor/couch/bear. It hurts when you hit people." It's taken awhile but he has been more recently stopping himself from hitting on of us when he's angry and he will go and throw his large stuffed bear or hit the couch. For him that's how he's expressing his anger and we're okay with getting his emotions out so long as he's not hurting anyone else or any pets.

We often say, "Hitting hurts. That makes me sad. Let's be nice/gentle." as well.

If it's out of the blue and he's just looking for a reaction then we'll do the same, "Ow! That hurts! Be gentle. Do you want to love on Daddy instead?" because sometimes it seems like he's just wanting attention and that's the quickest way to get it so we offer an alternative (love on Mama/Snuggle/play dinosaurs...) and he typically will quickly go with that one.

I'm not sure if any of it will work for you. Frankly, we just tried different things until something seemed to work a bit better. Sometimes, he just doesn't seem to care but other times he will respond really well to it. He's 2 though so I'm fairly sure that's normal.

[GoJoJo]

Just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat with 18 mo DD with hitting, but also pinching and biting We redirect and offer 'loving' alternatives but it doesn't seem effective for preventing the violence. I just keep telling myself she doesn't have the vocab to express frustration and hope this will be a short phase.

[mom2grrls]

That's pretty normal for a 2 y/o and it may be out of frustration. She may not be verbal enough to express her feelings and even if she seems very talkative she may not have the right words to say what she feels. I wouldn't use a lot of words, just say "hitting hurts". Perhaps give her some words to express what she may want-if naptime is an issue perhaps you may need a routine to get her into naptime mode or maybe she would like a back rub while she lays down. Honestly I wouldn't sit her down to talk with her about drawing on furniture, I would just say "if you want to color do it on paper". I would also make sure any writing utensils are out of reach and watch like a hawk when she does have them. This will pass