working moms have no fun! - Page 2
And unfortunately, not a lot of working moms in this area...
I can totally relate! About 1/3 of my mom friends work FT - but, then we all feel so tired it is hard to get together anyway on evenings and weekends! The rest of my mom friends tend to do weekday morning activities...except mom night outs, but, then I feel so guilty about leaving my kids...*sigh*.
I am enrolling my 4yo in a childcare center twice a week that has swimming lessons, so at least he will get that, without me having to take him (there are plenty of evening/weekend activities around here it is just way too hard for me to do all that and work and try to cook at least 3 nights out of the week....ugh...
merryns.mom's - have you thought of inviting another church family to lunch at your house on Sunday? I have made many long term friends this way. Feeding people and allowing all their kids to come over is a sure way to get to know people.
We have a Tuesday evening group at our Family centre that we bring our 2 year old DD as much as possible. It is all working parents there or dads. My favourite thing is watching DD play with toys, other kids, sing songs and listen to others read stories. I love seeing how she interacts with others.
edit: Sorry I have no clue why it is blue.
I haven't read all the posts but wanted to chime in that on top of this - I run into families that I like and want to spend time with, but they 'save' their weekends for family time and do not want to do much socializing....I respect that but it doesn't leave much room for building friendships/relationships... I also find that since I am somewhat new here (4 years) that many folks have long history of local family and friends and don't have 'room' for more... luckily this IS a university town so many folks are in the same position as we are and I do have friends....but it's a constant challenge to develop and keep a good social life!
I tried organizing night/weekend activities for my mom's group, but no one ever showed up. Actually I still organize weekend activities and no one comes -- that's out of about 100 moms! I think everyone is tired by the end of the day (SAHM's & WOHM's alike!), they want down time & family time, plus lots of kids go to bed early, so it's just not all that realistic. I had absolutely NO friends until I cut back to 20 hours a week... and then I shifted my hours, I now work from 6am-10am, and FINALLY I can do most things -- I miss out on a lot of 9am stuff but there's plenty the rest of the day. I miss sleeping and I had to basically threaten to quit to get my employer to agree, but it was worth it to me (not just because of this issue). Would your employer be at all open to you changing your hours a bit? What if you did something like, come in 1/2 an hour early all week, and leave 2.5 hours early on Thursdays so you can go to that late afternoon class??
You only need to find ONE thing to meet people, so don't get so discouraged by all the cool but inconvenient activities that you miss/discount the one or two classes that might actually work for you. How about Saturdays? Around here, there are often storytimes or other activities on Sat. mornings... I hate giving up my only day to sleep in, but it gets us out and around others...
Also, a tip if you are able to somehow attend something... try to attend the same thing every week (if your goal is indeed to make friends)... because if you just drop in to one class here & there or one dance session and one storytime and two sessions of music, then you won't be seeing the same people week after week, and IME that is how people make friends, by being around each other week after week. And take advantage of the time, you know, don't sit back & wait for someone to approach you -- introduce yourself to the other moms & start chatting etc.
Hope this week is better for you and you find a way to make friends!! OH and you could look at adult activities too (exercise classes, scrapbooking club, etc.) They'd be nights/weekends... might be harder to find someone who just happens to have friends your kid's age if that's what you're hoping for, but you might find someone or at least have some fun in the meantime...
I was pretty honest with myself that I went looking for activities as a chance to meet other parents of children the same age(s) as mine. We were the first in our circle to have kids, and a lot of them decided that while our first child was cute and a great accessory that he cramped our style too much to remain very close (we couldn't afford a babysitter as often as we would have needed one).
I tried all over the place, and everything was during the day. I got told that LLL didn't want to encourage separations from baby by having working-moms meetings. I got told that as a working mom "You get to have social time with yoru coworkers." Yeah -- at WORK. You know, where we're supposed to be getting WORK done. I got told it was logical that the people I met at a playgroup while I was on maternity leave didn't bother to talk to me "because you're just going back to work."
Oh, I'm a bit bitter? You can still tell? Ha.
I really didn't get the connections I wanted to the community of the parents of my child's age-mates until he started Kindergarten. And even then, there's a clique in charge of the PTA -- guess when they schedule the "welcome luncheon" when the talk about committee assignments? Guess when they schedule the meeting at the President's house to nominate people for positions and committees for the next year? If you're thinking "during the workday," you're right.
I adore the parents in dd's class, but I can't go to yoga at 10 am with the other moms. It seems like the other moms at our school are always getting together. They know I work ( I am the only person wearing a business suit at drop off) so I just don't get invited. Over the years this hurts less. And these are really cool, wonderful people I would love to hang out with. I find comfort in the fact I love my job. My life is just different. Dd is in a great after school program, I don't think she is suffering from not having "playdates." OTH when there has been an afternoon birthday party, I have had other moms offer to take dd to the party because they knew I couldn't. I miss out, though
I'd be annoyed too except that I tend to take half days or vacation days to do some of these things every so often. Makes me connected. Most of the families we know have nannies and part-time preschools and some moms work full time. A few work part time. But everyone seems to have a lot of help. I actually intentionally scheduled a mid-week birthday so that it wouldn't clog up so much weekend time for everyone. I have it went I loose my whole saturday going to an endless party. My favorites are the parties that begin 20minutes after preschool.
Other than a breastfeeding group, which WAS helpful, I didn't find a mommy group very helpful. Most of the parenting wasn't compatible with my values. If I had more time I probably could have found something but still, I found better support online.
I did have a LLL say she would work really hard to help me put together a weekday LLL if I could help her find space. But as she had never used a breast pump, it wasn't a great fit.