Stbxh and car loan/payments- Cross posted frugality and finances

[NewDirections]

I separated from stbxh in July and filed for divorce in December. During this time, he's been driving and making payments on a car we bought together (we are on the loan together). I've been driving his car he had before our marriage. The new car was originally bought for me, but after about 6 months of driving it, we switched cars and then a month later we separated.

I've been saying for close to a year that I do not want the new car and that I can't afford it. I've told stbxh many times in writing that the car needs to be sold. He's said that he can't afford it as well, but he's made no effort to sell it. During the time he's had the car, I had a high risk pregnancy and now a newborn so that's why I haven't tried to sell the car.

Now we are figuring out the divorce and he wants some compensation for the fact that he's been the one paying for the new car and driving it and I haven't been making payments but rather driving his car that's paid for. Is it likely that I'll be responsible for paying him back payments for the car? Or since we've been separated for almost a year and he chose to keep the car is it considered all his responsibility?

[simplemama32]

I am no expert, but I honestly can't imagine having to pay him back??!

Both of your names are on the loan, and if he can't afford it, then it should have been sold. No one was forcing him to keep it. It seems like it would maybe be different if he was the only one paying for the car, and YOU had the car, but since that's not the case...

Is he still wanting to keep the car? Or will it now be sold?

[violet_]

I think most places would view it as his responsibility. In fact, when I got divorced, I initially paid my half of the mortgage, even though my ex was the only one living there, since I figured no one can sell a house that fast. My lawyer told me this was totally unnecessary, and I had paid my own rent too, and even though we were both on the house, only he was living there so only he had to pay the mortgage.

Lots of things vary a lot by state, so you never know for sure, but I can't imagine any reasonable court expecting you to pay for a car that only he drives. In fact, you are likely entitled to half of its value at divorce, if it was partly paid with marital money, before the split. Just like he'd be entitled to half the value of your car.

[NewDirections]

He wants the car sold. Unfortunately, we probably won't be able to get what we owe. I need a new (used) car, cause he wants his back, so he's pressuring me to trade the car in. I'm open to doing that if we split the difference and since he doesn't have the $ to pay me all at once, that he make payments to me including interest for a specific time period until it's paid off. This would be a legally binding agreement. I'd have to talk to my lawyer about how to do that though.

[SoulCakes]

These are just my thoughts:

You have two cars. Let's say the one that's paid off is worth $1000 and the car you owe money on has a trade-in value $2000 less than what you owe. So -$2000 plus $1000 for the other car is -$1000. Split that in half and he owes you $500 (because I'm assuming you're the one trading the car in - if he traded it in you'd owe him $500).

I would talk to the lawyer about whether you're liable for recompensating him for the cost of the car. I think not - if you're still married and haven't divided finances yet (like the cars), then I would guess that it's still considered a joint expense coming out of joint funds, so you wouldn't owe anything. Also, it's difficult to charge someone for something after the fact. If you had both agreed to split the payments between the time you separated and sold the vehilcles, that would be another thing. He can't just decide later that you should have been paying him.

Anyway, good luck! Sorting these things out is such a pain in the arse.

[NewDirections]

Anyone else?