I am this close to giving up ideal part time job to stay home with my DS full time...am I making...

[robynholly]

Long story short....I wanted part time....I got part time...in between wanting and getting I decided I wanted to stay home full time. It is making me sick to make this decision...I want to stay home with my darling little boy, but part time is so unheard of.....why is this so hard? HELP!!!!!!!

[ShwarmaQueen]

More details!

[liliaceae]

Yes, please post more details. What is the job? How old is your son? Who would be watching him while you're at work?

[zinemama]

Were you the one who posted about a part-time teaching job a few weeks ago?

ETA: if you were, I think you should take the job. In this economy, you never know, and unless your partner's job is enough to comfortably set your family up with enough for retirement, college savings, etc. AND is totally secure, this would be a good idea. For a teacher, it can't get more ideal.

[robynholly]

I think I may be the one that posted a few weeks ago. I am a kindergarten teacher and I would work from 8:30-11:30 M-F. As far as the job goes...it is as close to perfect as it gets...I only live 5 minutes from my work. I wanted to get in part time because I thought it would be a nice balance between work and home. But I am so madly in love with my child. I just can't leave him...he is 17 months old and we have been together every second. I am thinking now that I want to resign from a job most would kill for...a job I've had for 10 years and know well. Why do these babies change everything? I want to go to story time and mommy and me gym class and do it all. I don't have anyone to watch my baby next year and truth be told....I can't imagine anyone being "good enough". I just need help sorting this out.

[neveryoumindthere]

Originally Posted by robynholly

I think I may be the one that posted a few weeks ago. I am a kindergarten teacher and I would work from 8:30-11:30 M-F. As far as the job goes...it is as close to perfect as it gets...I only live 5 minutes from my work. I wanted to get in part time because I thought it would be a nice balance between work and home. But I am so madly in love with my child. I just can't leave him...he is 17 months old and we have been together every second. I am thinking now that I want to resign from a job most would kill for...a job I've had for 10 years and know well. Why do these babies change everything? I want to go to story time and mommy and me gym class and do it all. I don't have anyone to watch my baby next year and truth be told....I can't imagine anyone being "good enough". I just need help sorting this out.

oooooh that sounds like a DREAM! I would LOVE to get out of the house for 3-4 hours. I'd come home to my kids totally refreshed and energized!!!

I'm actually thinking of contacting the private school we have here and see if they want a guidance counsellor for a couple days a week..

[lach]

I SAH, and I love SAHing, and I'm very glad I have the opportunity to SAH. When I quit my job to SAH I felt like a huge load had been lifted from my shoulders and I couldn't imagine being happier.

And that's why your story raises a red flag to me

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade SAHing for anything. But I also didn't really like my job, and my career wasn't very family friendly, and I was very good at what I did but I never woke up thinking "yay! time to go to work!" I just really wanted to stay home with my kids.

I think that it's normal to have doubts, but I think that if you really have a nagging voice in your head telling you that you would love this job, then you should take it.

(Also, 17 month olds are adorable. When he hits 3, you'll be begging for some time away and some intellectual stimulation besides "why? why? why? why?")

(Just kidding)

(Sort of)

Have you made a good, old-fashioned pro/con list? Single sheet of notebook paper, line down the middle, pros on the left side and cons on the right side? It's simple, but I always find it an effective way to really see on paper the issues that I'm dealing with.

[Mom2GCNJ]

I really try to avoid giving flat out "I think you should do this" kind of advice, but in this case I'm going to have to agree with the others who said Take The Job!

I don't think you could find a family friendlier job. If your school is on a traditional schedule you'll have lots of vacation time, including summers. 3-4 hours is not long at all in the whole scope of the day. If there is a financial crisis in your family, you and your dh will be in a stronger position to deal with it since you will already have a foot in the paid work world.

As for childcare, since it seems from what you are saying you could manage with just your husband's income, don't worry about the price tag when looking for the best place for your little man to be while you are away from him. Think of it as enrichment for him - like he's going to school too. In that context your job may end up being more of an investment in your family's future and financial stability than a short term economic pay off - but that seems like a good thing to invest in to me.

As for mommy and me classes - as he gets older, which will happen much faster than you'd think, there will be many more afternoon opportunities for the two of you to spend time in that way.

So, if it were me, I'd take the job.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by lach

(Also, 17 month olds are adorable. When he hits 3, you'll be begging for some time away and some intellectual stimulation besides "why? why? why? why?")

(Just kidding)

(Sort of)

This!

Is there anyway you can keep it for another 6mos-year to see how you feel later?

[liliaceae]

Originally Posted by lach

(Also, 17 month olds are adorable. When he hits 3, you'll be begging for some time away and some intellectual stimulation besides "why? why? why? why?")

Exactly! I would take the job for sure.

[jeteaa]

For those of us that feel we "might" want some kind of life outside of the home, pt work, volunteer, classes etc. We just need to KNOW that our dc will be OK, maybe even BETTER being in a safe, age appropriate setting for a few hours a day. If mom doing her own thing a few hrs/day makes for a more happy mom the rest time w/ dc then thats the BEST situation.

[hotmamacita]

Trust your instinct and desires to stay home with your son.

[starling&diesel]

Don't let that smokin' hot perfect job out of your sight! Grab it! Hold onto it! Treasure it! Thank your lucky stars for it every day! Cherish it! Curl it up tight in the palm of your hand and tuck it in your pocket just so you can touch it every once and a while and remind yourself that it is not a dream.

Take the job, hon.

[Starry-eyedMom]

I have the same situation as you fast forward a few years. After my first was born, I knew I would either quit teaching or talk my principal into letting me go PT. I now work 8:30 to 12:30+. I still feel conflicted, but, ultimately I made the right decision for our family. There is only one school in our town and to get a job later, after the kids are older, would be a long shot--not a lot of turnover here.

Here is quick rundown of the advantages and disadvantages as I have experienced them.
Pros:
*I have a job I really enjoy
*I make as much $ as I used to working FT (in another state)
*I have job security and don't want to give that up
*I get BENNIES (insurance, retirement, sick leave, etc)
*I still get quite a bit of time off each year for holidays & vacations
*I enjoy keeping up my skills
*I enjoy having adult conversations with my peers
*Daycare: I have finally found an amazing mom who loves my kids. I don't worry.
*I love my afternoons off with my kiddos!

Cons:
*I miss my kids those 4-5 hours a day and I know they miss me
*Mornings are hell--I am perpetually running late
*Not much snuggle time those mornings and the kids miss that
*I always feel guilty leaving them, especially when they are little (my 4 yo loves going to his "school" but the 2 yo always cries and wants mommy. I don't even want to think about leaving my newest this fall.
*Daycare: we went through several places and LOTS of STRESS/WORRY before finding the right fit.
*My job is still demanding outside of my paid time (grading, planning)
*I am always feeling conflicted about leaving them; however, it IS much easier as they get older and they learn to enjoy playtime with others.

If you are not worried about finances, getting a job later, etc. I would say stay with your child. BUT as you said, that job sounds ideal. You can always quit later, if it doesn't work out!

[Linda on the move]

Over the long haul, I think that moms who find ways to balance their lives outside of the home with raising their kids end up happier.

[anjelika]

Good PT options are *so* hard to find - I'd go for it.

[Reebekah]

only you know what is right for your family....just want to share my experience....i had a REALLY great opportunity to work part-time from home after my maternity leave, which i thought would be perfect....but then i realized that working part time was much harder than i thought it would be.....i didnt like having to change my kid's schedule around for my work, i didnt like feeling guilty all the time, i wanted the flexibility and freedom to do what i wanted (playground with my mom's group, etc). i decided to become a full time sahm, and i'm so happy that i did. i'd personally rather struggle financially in order to walk around the block on a Thursday morning or spend a Monday morning at an amusement park or snuggle in bed until 9am on a Wednesday.......but everyone is different and i know that not everyone is happy with such a laid back life. good luck in whatever you decide.

[Lil'M]

If you don't need it for the money, I would let the job go.

I just left my "perfect" part time job to SAH full time. My kids are bigger and were in school while I worked, but I simply wasn't the same when I was with them. I was always in a hurry, stressed, had less patience, etc. They fought more too, which I think was an attempt to get more of my attention, or maybe a reflection of the increased stress in the house.

It's true that you don't know what job opportunities will be available later if you don't keep the job. But you know the time that you will miss if you are not with your son now. And it sounds like that is where your heart wants to be at this time.

[crunchy_mommy]

Some of the questions I'd consider:

1. Do you need the money?
2. Do you prefer to have the money (i.e. is it a bit of a stretch to survive on 1 income indefinitely?)
3. Do you enjoy being home with DS?
4. Do you enjoy working?
5. What would your DS be doing from 8:30-11:30? (mine doesn't even wake up until 10am or later, if your DS naps a lot in the morning you wouldn't be missing as much, but if he naps a lot in the afternoon, you'd miss all his waking time!)

I don't think taking the job just because it's a rare opportunity is the best reason. I think the questions above are more important.

Another thing, you've had the SAHM experience for 1.5 years now, right? So how do you feel? Do you love it? Do you feel like something's missing? Do you wake up excited to face the day? Do you miss working, or the mental challenges, or the social aspect? Would you be content to be a SAHM permanently (and is it really feasible?) If you didn't have this job opportunity, would you go looking for one or would you just go on being a SAHM?

[robynholly]

I LOVE being a SAHM....I look forward to each day at home with my ds. I don't miss work at all. I feel like I am a different person now that I have had my son and my new self just wants to stay home. From the bottom of my heart....thank you for all your help!!!!!