So frustrated I don't know what to title this...

[jessica_anne010]

My 4wo and I have had lots of trouble breastfeeding. He started out not opening wide enough, not sticking his tongue out far enough (not tongue-tied, I checked), tongue thrusting, chomping, and has trouble keeping his hands out of the way. I thought we were all clear a few days ago because he finally stopped tongue thrusting, had mostly stopped chomping and was getting better about opening up wide enough and getting his tongue where it needs to be. I can deal with his hands being in the way, that doesn't hurt and is easy enough to fix. We went though a growth-spurt-led nursing fest a week ago, I think. Was eating every two hours during the day, the whole nine yards. He was 10lbs 2ozs at birth and started out eating like a 1 mo, every 4 hours, so for him eating every 2 was a wild couple of days. He just started backing off the every 2 hours and had a couple of four hour breaks in there again. Last night, he nursed for 2 hours straight. The first time on each breast was the same as usual, could hear the swallowing he was calm and settled while he was nursing. I burped him as usual after each. After I burped him after the second side he acted hungry still, so I put him back on the second side thinking maybe he hadn't finished. He nursed somewhat frantically, didn't cry but was very active while nursing, kicking his feet, moving his arms, moving his head pushing it into my breast and then pulling back a little. I took him off after a while and tried to burp him again, noticed that my breast was leaking milk, but I don't think he was drinking because I didn't hear any swallowing or any of his usual noises. He didn't burp. I put him on the other breast and he did the exact same thing. He finally fell asleep and nursed as usual through the night. He did a similar thing this evening, nursed fine the rest of the day, wasn't the same time as he did it yesterday though.

One possibility that has crossed my mind is that he may have some separation anxiety. We had a perfect UC, but then the placenta wouldn't come out, I was home for several hours before transferring to the hospital. So we were together at first after he was born, but then we were separated for several hours. I'm really not sure how long we were apart. He wasn't interested in nursing before we were separated.

Any other ideas? I don't want another child addicted to a pacifier but him nursing for 2 hours straight drives me a little batty. Please don't judge me for that, patience is not one of my strong suits - at least not patience for being stuck on the couch for 2 hours straight while he acts like he's starving and not getting anything when he's the one that isn't nursing to actually get anything. Ugh.

More than a little frustrated, I don't want to give up, just don't know what the heck is going on.

[featherstory]

Hi there, there could be a number of things going on... what is your nursing environment like? It could be distracting to him, my initial thought is that he could be having a reaction to something you're eating or the milk may not come as fast or as slow as he is wanting.

If you have to go every 2 hours of nursing, try to find something engaging for you to do, while at the same time calming for him. Listen to your favorite music...something you like to sing and makes you happy and cheerful... or you could give him some gentle massaging, or draw/paint/color or something of the sort. As for his hands, maybe you could put a beaded bracelet or necklace in his hand to play with while he's nursing, he may be a little frantic and there may be some separation anxiety. See if you can find away to make nursing more fun for you and engaging for him, he might sense your distance and impatience and that could greatly affect the way he nurses as well. He might just want to be attached to you, and if he is not nursing, you might try to give him a massage, or do some exercises or play games with him, sing to him, etc. comfort him in some other way, so he knows he is attached to you, regardless of being attached to the breast, but it could very well be that he wants to suck for comfort even if his sucking is weak and he's not getting much. If you intend to keep nursing, I would to stay far away from a paci, as long as you can, it will only make it even more difficult.

You may also want to try a different position. Do you have specific position you use or how do you get into position to nurse? You might try more pillows/support, a rocking chair, lying down or turning off the lights or nursing outside where the air is fresh and the light is more natural. There really are tons of possibilities, but as you can see patterns can change often and eventually things will settle, just use your intuition and work on what you feel might be the way to figuring it out.

[Gemini529]

Hi,
I have been told this is normal. Every 2 hours sounds pretty good to me. My son nurses at least that but usually it's more like every hour. During the evening, he will do what you describe, but he will do it for a stretch of about 3 hours. He'll latch on, then as soon as the milk starts coming out, he'll pull away, scream, then smack my boob away, then pull it back and shake his head like he's starving. And I'm frustrated cause he's wasting all this perfectly good milk by throwing a tantrum. (And the frustration grows as I look over at my DH who is happily snoring away in bed next to us!)

My solution is to just try to get him to calm down before continuing. I'll put a little breast milk on my finger and get him to suck on my finger for a few seconds. Then once he's calm, I'll offer the breast again. He might throw a similar fit in a few minutes, but I just do the same thing again. I agree it is very frustrating. I think I have a fast letdown that frustrates him, but I'm not sure how I can control it.

He might be doing that to build up your supply for his next growth spurt. Good luck and hang in there! My son will be 4 weeks tomorrow so we are both in the same stage here. It's going by so fast already! You are not alone...I keep thinking how easy it would be to just go get him a bottle of formula and then give him a pacifier once he's done. But I know I would always regret it if I didn't stick it out.

[alegna]

Totally normal.

Things will settle down in a few more weeks.

-Angela

[jessica_anne010]

Originally Posted by featherstory

If you have to go every 2 hours of nursing, try to find something engaging for you to do, while at the same time calming for him. Listen to your favorite music...something you like to sing and makes you happy and cheerful... or you could give him some gentle massaging, or draw/paint/color or something of the sort. As for his hands, maybe you could put a beaded bracelet or necklace in his hand to play with while he's nursing, he may be a little frantic and there may be some separation anxiety.

It's not the every 2 hours that gets me, it's when he wants to nurse for 2 hours straight. He's only 4 weeks old so he isn't keeping much in his hands yet. :-/

As for positions, it's more comfortable for me if I use my boppy, but he seems to nurse better if I don't. During the day I tend to use the cradle hold, but tried the football hold the other day. It didn't seem to make much of a difference for him, but bothered my neck and shoulders more (I already have a lot of neck and shoulder problems). At night we use the side-lying position.

I think what I might try today if he does that is to just take him off and put him in my sling and see if he settles if he just wants to be close. I do want to stay away from the pacifier, I'd like to burn them all if I could.

Wow Gemini - that sounds pretty frustrating too. I have a fast let down too that was choking him, he's finally getting the hang of it though. I was reading about that in the LLL's Breastfeeding Answer Book - one of their suggestions was to get in a reclined position on your back and have baby on top so that gravity will help slow the flow. I can't remember the other positions at the moment but I think they were variations of that.

Thanks ladies.

[sosurreal09]

a baby should not be eating every 4hrs until around 4+ m/o certainly not 4wks! he should be eating every 2hrs 3hr max! i know its frustrating right now but you have to remember you are teaching him how to eat he doesn't know it off the bat. i would get a consult and really be patient. Once you teach him the proper way to eat and are consistent in not letting him latch incorrectly you should be ok.

[jessica_anne010]

Originally Posted by anielasmommy09

a baby should not be eating every 4hrs until around 4+ m/o certainly not 4wks! he should be eating every 2hrs 3hr max!

I have had several consults. He is having plenty of wet/poopy diapers & is gaining just fine. He knows perfectly well when he's hungry & when he's not. I'm not going to force feed him & make us both more frustrated.

[tessie]

Cluster feeding in the evenings is bang on normal. You cna read more about it at kellymom. It will pass but in the meantime set yourself up a comfy corner with easy access to tv/laptop/book & food and drink.

[jessica_anne010]

Originally Posted by tessie

Cluster feeding in the evenings is bang on normal. You cna read more about it at kellymom. It will pass but in the meantime set yourself up a comfy corner with easy access to tv/laptop/book & food and drink.

Oh thank you! I always forget to look at KellyMom's site. I have a "nest" set up already, was kind of putting things away since we got through the newborn phase. What I really need over there is a fan! lol Will hopefully be getting a laptop soon, our old one is decrepit & annoying.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

i know it can be hard at times especially when baby seems to be constantly on the boob, but it will get better at that age my lo's fed every nearly 30-60 mins

[jessica_anne010]

Originally Posted by beckyand3littlemonsters

i know it can be hard at times especially when baby seems to be constantly on the boob, but it will get better at that age my lo's fed every nearly 30-60 mins

Thanks Becky!

[ewe+lamb]

Originally Posted by jessica_anne010

I have a fast let down too that was choking him, he's finally getting the hang of it though. I was reading about that in the LLL's Breastfeeding Answer Book - one of their suggestions was to get in a reclined position on your back and have baby on top so that gravity will help slow the flow. I can't remember the other positions at the moment but I think they were variations of that.

try this website www.biologicalnurturing.com it's a great position that fixes many bfing issues. It's run by Susan Colston - IBCLC and LLL Leader.

For the two hour stints try and be prepared, I remember when dd was little dh went out for the day and came back I was still on the sofa in my pyjamas and unwashed we'd sat there for hours just nursing - make sure you have enough fluids to drink, the telephone, tv control, some healthy snacks, a good book, so that you don't feel quite so frustrated also finding a good wrap/ sling can give you all that freedom you need!!

[tinybutterfly]

Moved to the general Breastfeeding forum since it's a more usual problem.



tinybutterfly

[jessica_anne010]

Originally Posted by ewe+lamb

try this website www.biologicalnurturing.com it's a great position that fixes many bfing issues. It's run by Susan Colston - IBCLC and LLL Leader.

For the two hour stints try and be prepared, I remember when dd was little dh went out for the day and came back I was still on the sofa in my pyjamas and unwashed we'd sat there for hours just nursing - make sure you have enough fluids to drink, the telephone, tv control, some healthy snacks, a good book, so that you don't feel quite so frustrated also finding a good wrap/ sling can give you all that freedom you need!!

I will check that website out. Thanks!

I try to keep everything I need in my little spot, but my husband likes to come and take the remote and then leave it on the other side of the room. Ugh! lol It's easier to deal with when my older kids are home, but my teenagers are getting busy with their summer schedule so they aren't always home. I do need to take a few books over there though.

Thanks for the tips!