High Needs Tribe - Struggling through June

[BlueWolf]

How are you ladies holding up? I figured I'd start a new High Needs thread as our old one is buried. This way we can update each other without having to go through the older material.

Like a light switch, I'm suddenly struggling hard core with my 11 month DD. She's waking up multiple times an hour when we were finally down to about 3 night wakings. She was up SCREAMING and nothing comforts her except a few sips of her bottle then she knocks out again... until the next half hour and she wakes up again.

She fights me on everything. Everything is a battle. Most days I try to roll with it, but this not sleeping thing just makes it impossible to deal with her. She will not do anything without a massive fight unless it is 2,000% her idea. Eating solids? She screams the entire time during. I've tried having her in her high chair, tried just feeding her while she's playing, tried finger foods and mashed foods. Tried spoon feeding her, tried letting her feed herself. Nothing works and the food doesn't get eaten. But then she wont take her bottle because she's too "busy" doing her baby things to stop for it. I have to pin her down in the bed just to get 4 oz down her. So I struggle all day long trying to get her to eat something and then she ends up wanting to eat all night. But.... see above paragraph. Even then, I can't get a solid amount down her.

She has mastered crawling, finally, in the past two weeks. Now she pulls up on everything, cruises around, and then crawls inbetween furniture pieces. This makes her very happy and content while she's doing it. But the moment she has to stop (to try to eat, or give her a bottle, or change her diaper, or put her down for a nap) she ends up screaming at me, and queue tantrum.

Mamas, I'm exhausted and I feel like I'm going to explode from her sleep issues. I'm sitting here thinking, what did I do to cause this? What did I do to deserve this? Should I have let her CIO from the beginning and now we wouldn't be having these horrible, unbearable sleep problems? (Ongoing sleep problems?!!?!?) Maybe I've just screwed everything up from the start. Did I make this monster?


Please tell me that you ladies are having an easier time with your HN children!!

[Tattooed Hand]

Oh mama, I am so sorry. With these NH babies they go into these really intense phases... Can you leave food for her on the floor where she might pick it up and eat it on her explorations?

We had a very tough May where DD just would not sleep for longer than an hour or two at a time and was fussing ALOT. Like whining, crying, screaming (her 3 speeds) all the time. Nursing was a struggle - she was thrashing, biting, scratching, clawing. And then when she did nurse, she would thrash or jump around after so much that she'd often throw it all up. Then eat ALL night long. Getting her to sleep at night was often a 2-3 hour torturous event -she just would not settle. I actually found myself in a shrink's office earlier this month. Since then, we went up to New Hampshire for a few days and that seems to have worked magic. I have these friends up there who AP their 2 kids (1 and 3), the first of whom was/is high needs. They have a huge house in the woods and the nature, environment, or whatever worked magic. She slept alot and so did I. The last 3 nights she's woke up only 3 times between 9pm and 7am, which is a miracle. She's eaten well and has been a pretty happy baby (I still have to wear her alot, but with the sleep I got, anything is doable).

All I can say is that I think a change of scene, other kids, and a more relaxed mama did wonders for her. It's like it broke some spell. We are back home now and she is down for yet another nap after a great night of sleep (once we got out of the dreaded car). I don't know if it was the nature or having me relax, but something helped.

I hope something changes soon for you, mama!

[doulawoman]

good to read your posts...I feel less alone.Can't even wrte I am so tired/overwhelmed by 3.5 month old dd...let's just say she is "more" everything compared to every iother baby I know...

[omelette]

I think my baby is high needs. I clicked on this thread just to see what some of you mamas are dealing with and I think I might belong here.
My son is 8mos old. He sleeps in 20 min-1hr increments all night long with waking periods in between that can be as long as 1-2 hours of trying to get him back to sleep. He naps for about 20 minutes on average although yesterday he napped for a whole hour - heaven! ANd I'm clawed at all night, even when he's sleeping his little fingers claw at me. This little baby has never really had a deep sleep, like when you see those babies with their arms up over their heads sleep like logs.
He cries so much, hours/day. He can be left for 5-10 minutes in the playpen (so I can shower or prep food for my 4yrold) without him crying if I make sure to find something interesting for him to play with, although sometimes I have to let him cry in there if I'm helping my eldest with something. Basically though he spends most of his day in my arms.
He's crawling and standing now which seems to make him happier but he's so wobbly standing that he needs me to spot him most of the time so it's busy, busy.
Dh and I have not had one night in 8mos of the 2 of us sitting together without him crying or being held in one of our arms. I would love to have one night to snuggle up with dh on the couch and visit or watch a movie.
He does have a gassy tummy and dh keep putting his neediness down to that and that this crying/no sleep phase will pass when his tummy gets on track. But now I wondering if he is what one calls a high needs baby.
It's hard, I'm exhausted. He's exhausted. Would you call him high needs?
It's so nice to here other stories and struggles to know that we can get through this.

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by omelette

I think my baby is high needs. I clicked on this thread just to see what some of you mamas are dealing with and I think I might belong here.
My son is 8mos old. He sleeps in 20 min-1hr increments all night long with waking periods in between that can be as long as 1-2 hours of trying to get him back to sleep. He naps for about 20 minutes on average although yesterday he napped for a whole hour - heaven! ANd I'm clawed at all night, even when he's sleeping his little fingers claw at me. This little baby has never really had a deep sleep, like when you see those babies with their arms up over their heads sleep like logs.
He cries so much, hours/day. He can be left for 5-10 minutes in the playpen (so I can shower or prep food for my 4yrold) without him crying if I make sure to find something interesting for him to play with, although sometimes I have to let him cry in there if I'm helping my eldest with something. Basically though he spends most of his day in my arms.
He's crawling and standing now which seems to make him happier but he's so wobbly standing that he needs me to spot him most of the time so it's busy, busy.
Dh and I have not had one night in 8mos of the 2 of us sitting together without him crying or being held in one of our arms. I would love to have one night to snuggle up with dh on the couch and visit or watch a movie.
He does have a gassy tummy and dh keep putting his neediness down to that and that this crying/no sleep phase will pass when his tummy gets on track. But now I wondering if he is what one calls a high needs baby.
It's hard, I'm exhausted. He's exhausted. Would you call him high needs?
It's so nice to here other stories and struggles to know that we can get through this.

Welcome to the HN club... Your son sounds just like my daughter. I keep holding out that at some magic point things will suddenly change and become bare-able, if not easy.

[KarlaC]

I was just coming to post about my son, but your post sounds exactly like him Bluewolf.

I love my boy but I don't like him much when I'm so exhausted. I was rattling the CIO thing around in my head too. I haven't worked out the food thing yet but I have been putting little bits on the edge of my desk where he can snag one as he cruises by at least.