Any way to help my mom/stop her from enabling?

[angelachristin]

Long story short, my 31-year-old sister is a heroin addict. She has 4 kids, all of which have been taken from her multiple times by DCFS and are now out of her custody. She was most recently arrested for prostituion and then a few days later for buying heroin, she's now in inpatient detox/rehab but will be getting out soon. She has been like this for at least 10 years, started off with vicodin and now has progressed to crack and heroin. she is always in and out of jail, etc. always getting arrested. my mom ALWAYS bails her out, she pays her rent, bails her from jail, etc. my mom is the queen of enabling my sis and says that no matter what anyone says she will never just cut my sister off. she goes to counseling has read book that tell her that she has to let my sister go and she refuses. Many times she has gone and picked up my sister from rehab because my sister called and "didn't like it there." It's beyond frustrating, my mom is wasting away and is now on tranquilizer because of the stress but my sister is her #1 priority at all times...except she doesn't realize she is only making it worse. she actually says stuff like "well i don't think she was doing it very often," etc. i mean she is shooting heroin that's not something people do on a casual basis. she found so many needles and crack pipes in my sister's car and her apartment when she was evicted but still she wants to pretend like my sister's problem isn't too serious.

[Ornery]

I would recommend your mother go to Al-Anon. There are a ton of parents in the same situation there.

[*MamaJen*]

What a horrible situation. I feel so bad for her poor babies.
I agree that Al-anon might help your mom. You might suggest that she check it out -- maybe you could ask her to go together. But unfortunately, you can't get your mom to stop being enabling and codependent any more than your mom can stop your sister from being a junky.

[Grace and Granola]

I went to alanon when I was around 20 years old because my mom is an alcoholic. I learned so much there. There are still a few key phrases that pop up into my head that help me live with being my mother's daughter. That and the fellowship with people going through the same thing is priceless.