The New Me

[Gucci&Granola]

Hello Everyone,

This is my very first post on a Mothering discussion board. If my format is off please don't hesitate to let me know.

I am 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my husband and I are thrilled. We have a very supportive family and community and so far things are off to a great start.

Sounds idyllic right?

The only problem is that I am suffering from a complete lack of motivation. As someone who works from home (and only part time) I have really enjoyed being a stay at home wife. Cooking, organizing, cleaning, decorating, fixing, building, gardening, and creating were second nature for me. I have also let myself go in the last couple of months (in that I don't feel like getting dressed nicely, wearing makeup, bikini waxing, or any of it). Right now all I want to do is lie down and occasionally take a walk. I have a very long and extensive list of all the things that need to get accomplished before my December baby arrives but I just can't get myself to get up and do anything.

I am not suffering from depression and generally only feel bad when I allow the guilt and panic of not getting anything done and looking like a cavewoman to overtake me. However, I am finding the lack of motivation a little disconcerting because I feel like a completely different person.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? Any ideas for getting the "old me" back?

[Galatea]

Welcome!!!

I was like this with my first. It has happened less and less with each pregnancy (I am pg with #4) but becoming a bit more introverted during pregnancy is normal. Dr. Sears talks about this in his pregnancy book.

I felt like me again when each baby was about 8-9 months old.

[lillymonster]

That sounds like me, I have no motivation to leave the house. I do have pretty bad m/s, but even when feeling good it's a struggle. I have a 3 year old, this is much worse than last pregnancy and my poor daughter I think is suffering a bit (maybe she isn't and it's just the guilt)

Today, it's 7PM, and well I haven't gotten dressed or taken a shower.

[BreakfastyMichele]

G&G, you'll have more energy and motivation in the second trimester. The old you will be (mostly) back, and you can remind yourself that you're still the same you.

Then, the new you will take over again in the third trimester. I agree with the previous poster: you'll feel like your old self again about 6-8 months postpartum.

Don't let this panic you! There will be glimpses of your old self. But this part is hard.

Hang in there! We've all done it, and lots of us are choosing to do it again.

Good luck.

[MeepyCat]

The first trimester can kind of hit like a truck. I would say, have your doctor check your iron levels, because anemia is pretty common in pregnancy, and don't worry too much.

And then, consider reorganizing your life a little so that you *can* let some of these things go. Infants and young children are very demanding, but they don't give a hoot if you take them to the park in old sweats and no makeup. If putting yourself together makes you feel good, it's a worthwhile exercise. It may, however, reasonably become less interesting.

I don't know what's on your extensive list to do before December, but you may not accomplish all of it, and it may not matter as much as you think it does right now. Do what you have to do to stay sane, and try not to worry.

[katelove]

Welcome to MDC

I had very little energy/motivation when I was pregnant. I could blame the m/s for the first 20ish weeks but after that I just felt non-specifically blah. The whole second trimester energy burst passed me by completely as did most of the thirsd trimester nesting energy. Although in the third trimester we noticed that I had some energy and motivation about every third day.

The good news is that now (3 weeks postpartum) I feel GREAT. Energy, motivation, enthusiasm is all back. I have to consciously stop myself doing too much. And this is post-c/s too.

So, you may have to resign yourself to 6 more months of blah but it won't last forever if I am anything to go by.

All the best

Kate

[MissMorgan]

Totally normal. I slept through my entire first trimester, had a bit more energy but not even close to as much as normal in my second trimester and now in the third trimester I am tired and aching everywhere. I've had to just realize that growing a person is HARD WORK and I have to take it easy. I have tried to push myself hard at times and have only felt worse for it afterward. Take it easy, enjoy and be kind to yourself! You're doing a lot right now even if it doesn't seem like it from the outside.

[lilmiss'mama]

Don't worry! Enjoy it! You'll waste your days away with guilt. Indulge yourself...there will be plenty of time for "doing"! Right now you have no where to be and no little one (on the outside anyway) to take care of. Sounds divine to me.
It's better to start learning to give up control now anyway...good practice for the future when you are sleep deprived & busy with a babe. Right now it's most important to take care of you & what you need!

[COgirl19]

totally normal! When I am pregnant I just want to be a hermit! I have no desire to leave the house or be social or "put together" in any way. I work outside the home so that doesn't exactly work unfortunately You will get some more energy in the next trimester and when that nesting instinct kicks in you can get a LOT done in a short amount of time (DH calls it a nesting "whirlwind" when I get going!)

[Gucci&Granola]

Sounds like I'm not alone

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for sharing their own experiences and offering encouragement. I am just entering the 2nd trimester and it feels like things are getting better by the day. Who knows, maybe I'll be back to my motivated self in no time. If I'm not, oh well... as my DH reminds me on a regular basis I am growing a human being after all.