Originally Posted by weezix
DH reason's to circ are: not circ'ing is "grose" it "looks funny". He is also concerned that his son's look like him.
Silly question - do boys really sit around looking at their penis's going "hey...how come his is different?" lol
For the record ds(2) and dss(5) bath together and haven't seem to notice or care that they are different. More interesting the girls (much more curious than the boys) have also not said anything. They have asked such questions as "why do you have bumps on your nipples?" "why are you're boobs longer than mine?" and "what is inside my vagina?" hahaha i'm pretty sure the difference of penis's is no concern to all 5 children in the house
The "look like" argument always torques me. It might seem to make sense at first blush, but in 99% of cases it's really a deep-seated longing for validation that what was done to DP/DH wasn't harmful or worthless.
Cuz here's the reality: DS's equipment isn't going to look like DP's until he's at least 16 years old -- size, hair, coloration, etc. Even then DP will always have about 30 years on him and will look 30 years older, even in that department. And yup, penises and scrotums age along with the rest of us.
Point 2: No two circumcisions are alike. It's just a medical fact... different physicians have different circumcision methods (some take more skin off, some take less, lots don't even care if they're crooked), different instruments leave discernably different results (Gomco vs Plastibell vs Mogen vs freehand), DS's own skin type and coloration will play a big role in what a circumcision scar and exposed mucous membrane tissue might look like. What will DP think when he sees a circumcised son with a wildly different circumcision from his own? A darker scar, closer to the head, maybe crooked, maybe a skin tag. The only way to ensure a baseline look for your son is to leave him the way nature intended.
Point 2.5: A boy's glans, penile nerve system and vascular system is not through developing until puberty, which is why it comes encased in an adherent sleeve -- designed to keep irritants and pathogens off the glans, off the meatus, and out of the urethra -- and which voilà!
turns into its own highly perceptive and useful sheath in adulthood. A miracle of design, not available at any price post-circumcision but provided for free at birth.
Point 3: Oh lordy, the complication rate of circumcision is disgraceful. Williams & Kapila estimated it at up to 10%
, but they were speaking specifically about serious operative complications. They didn't even take a stab at ugly or unsightly. Ever cut around an orange and found that the cut didn't line up at all when you got back to start? That happens often with circumcision, especially with the Gomco clamp. All methods are notorious for skin bridges, depending on DS's skin type and how the wound is cared for. Skin tags are common, nicked glans a little less so, severed frenulum, varying thickness of scar, and numerous other visual anomalies. These bring the actual complication rate up to 20-30%.
Circumcision is an inherently messy and inconsistent procedure because there is no truly definable structure as "the foreskin". No dotted line. No universally accepted definition of a "proper cut". A dad putting his son into the circumcision roulette specifically because he wants him to come out with a penis looking just like his is asking for trouble.
Point 4: There are no studies or even reliable information that boys are fussed by not having the same circumcision status as their father, brothers or friends.
Canada, like Australia, is quickly moving away from circumcision. Most likely your son will be surrounded by intact peers. The old notion was that boys were only left intact if their parents didn't have the brains, money or love to "do them right". If your DP sees that as a reasonable summation, you have a whole 'nuther issue on your hands.
If, by chance, you guys are intrigued by generally accepted practice worldwide, consider that out of every 100 baby boys born today, only 3
will be circumcised by the age of 1. And 2 of those 3
are in North America! Odds in any other first world countries are that the boy will not get circumcised. Based on what we know today and continue to learn, circumcision of newborns is headed for the dustheap.