First, I would hate for someone to not come to a party we were throwing due to not being able to buy a gift. I might like a heads up just so I could help deflect attention away from that if a kid asked a question (like "Where's Jimmy's present"), but we would definitely want you to attend.
Second, someone whose father had been laid off came with an assortment of things they had on hand (I think it was a barrette, a little notebook, and a little photo album) to one of dd's birthday parties. The mom apologized, and I told her it was absolutely fine, and as it turned out that was dd's favorite gift. She put her favorite photos in the album and, a couple of years later, still carries it around.
