Anyone have Phantom Baby Syndrome?

[jenfl]

DH and I have no plans to have more kids. Talking DH into two was work enough, and two is the right number for our house and our car.

But we've both had times now when we felt like someone was missing.

Once, I was cooking with Nugget and Sprout was with DH and DH thought, "Who's going to take care of the other kid?"

One time, I could see both Nugget and Sprout, but found myself looking around for the 3rd kid.

I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm not one to believe we were "meant" to have any specific number of kids, and it didn't happen with DD, even though I always planned to have a second.

Has this happened to anyone else?

[Knitting Mama]

In a different sort of way, I have. I'm not pregnant again (it's impossible since we haven't had sex since before Cecilia was born), but I feel "the baby" move and kick all. the. time. It's like because I want to be pregnant again, my body's pretending I am.

[loveneverfails]

Yup, and I generally understand it *for us* to mean that we need to be open to having another baby. However, it normally happens for us more like 6-9 months, not 2 months, so my guess is that you've just acclimated to life with two.

[ivymae]

Did you see my link in the "I miss..." thread? Spirit Babies is a book entirely about the babies who are waiting to join us.
http://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Babies-.../dp/0385338120

We thought Becky was our last, because we both really feel like there is a boy who wants to be a part of our family.. but she's not that little boy! Oops. He'll have to be quicker next time (and pretty sneaky to show up anytime soon).

[jsh7809]

I thought you meant the thing that I have when I'm in bed and she's sleeping, safe and sound, in her crib in the next room. Almost every single time DH comes to bed, I go "where's the baby?!" and start digging through the covers to find her... he reminds me she's in the next room and I have the baby monitor on in case she wakes up and needs me.
I think this is why I can't sleep at all deeply when she cosleeps with us - I'm way too paranoid about smooshing her in the covers!
Even before he comes to bed I usually get up at least once, looking for her and him... I've always been a big sleep walker and talker so this is nothing new, but it is a pain!

[Elecampane]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama

In a different sort of way, I have. I'm not pregnant again (it's impossible since we haven't had sex since before Cecilia was born), but I feel "the baby" move and kick all. the. time. It's like because I want to be pregnant again, my body's pretending I am.

Oh, I had those feelings too after my first (but not this time, wonder why?). I felt those phantom movements for months and I thought about a new baby a lot. I think for me it was missing pregnancy more than anything else.

[llfoster]

funny you should post this... my sister (who has 4 kids) asked me if I started looking for the 3rd baby yet! It happend to her, just as you've described! hasn't happened to me yet, though.

[snoopy5386]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama

In a different sort of way, I have. I'm not pregnant again (it's impossible since we haven't had sex since before Cecilia was born), but I feel "the baby" move and kick all. the. time. It's like because I want to be pregnant again, my body's pretending I am.

I feel phantom kicks too....makes me miss being pregnant despite how much I complained while pregnant.

[ann_of_loxley]

I got phantom kicks after DS1. The funny thing is - we didn't want anymore than one child at that point.

Funny cause - at the moment, I feel like there is one more child out there waiting for me - but I havn't had any phantom kicks.

But I do feel like there is a third out there waiting for our family. We shall see!

[smeisnotapirate]

Definitely. At least one more, if not two or three. My DH is getting less and less resistant to the idea after seeing how DS was such a high-needs kid. I think he balked at two because DS was just.so.hard. DD is so lovely that he keeps wavering.

I know we should have at least one more. I've always imagined my family being 3 or more, in relatively quick succession.

[leavemealone]

I feel like there is one more baby out there for us, but apparently DH does not agree. He is signed up for a vasectomy later this month. We already have four kids with two being very close together (only about 16 months apart). Adding this fourth child in April has been the easiest transition to me (DH thinks adding baby #2 was the easiest transition). We have one girl and then three boys. I think I just feel like I would like one more chance at another girl although with my luck, I'd have ten more kids and have ten boys (which would be equally as wonderful). There are just so many times I wish I had a sister and I'd love for DD to have a chance at one, but it's not going to happen. I'm going to make peace with the four wonderful children I do have and not dwell on the one I don't have.

[laughingfox]

I totally still feel kicking, and it's weird, because I kept dreaming about boy/girl twins while I was pregnant, and sometimes I absentmindedly think "Oh, that's just the boy twin that hasn't come out yet."

[happysmileylady]

Not in your due date club, but after I had my second, I had something similar happen. Though, it wasn't that I was looking for my third kid, rather, my mom's 8th grandchild. Every single time we all got together, I would count kids (all but 1 is under 10 so all of us are always counting to make sure they are all there) and freak out looking for #8.

My second took six years and an IVF to conceive, so it never occured to us that we would conceive naturally. And I am now pg with my mom's 8th grandchild.