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S/O: is it customary to have a shower for second babies where you live? - Page 3

Poll Results: Do people throw showers after the firest baby where you live?

 
  • 25% (30)
    All the time
  • 64% (77)
    Not usually
  • 10% (12)
    Other
119 Total Votes  
post #41 of 54
I voted Other. Under regular run-of-the-mill circumstances, i.e. children close together, same sex, etc. No.

SOMETIMES if the second child is a different sex, MAYBE. My mom had one with my sister (her sister threw it for her) but me and my sister are 14.5 years apart. She had NOTHING but a few fav outfits from when I was little. No toys, clothes, gear. She needed EVERYTHING, and my sister was a definete surprise.

I have heard of Diaper showers. If someone wanted to throw a shower for me with DS2, it would have been for all the necessities, diapers, wipes, baby wash, etc. But I wouldnt have registered anywhere, which is expected for showers around here.

I also think that the work showers are usually done when the co worker is the one pregant. I wouldnt expect an office to throw me a baby shower if my husband was who they worked with.
post #42 of 54
I wouldn't say it is "customary" which in my mind suggests a tradition, but it is common to see. Child age differences over 5 years, a child of a different gender, or a family that has moved recently would all be prime targets I think..

I am on kiddo #5, and I got a baby shower.. My youngest is 5, we moved two years ago, and this is our first girl.. so people were asking me if I was going to get one so they could come.. Pretty sure I have only had two baby showers.. this one (last month) and one that was 13 years ago.

In 13 years time, my first son's crib was recalled, I have tossed out expired carseats (more than I care to think about actually), downsized (considerably) baby clothing due to a move.. and dealt with a house flood/mold issues.. discovered what BPA was, and realized my oldest's bottle had it and tossed them.. do people really expect baby stuff to last?

I had ONE person remark about "baby showers for first time moms" before I was even pregnant.. I was pretty surprised, but then the person making the remark was from Texas originally and is over 60 years old, and not a mom at all so I think she had a different mindset than everyone else I know.
post #43 of 54
I said other because it depends. Where I live(or maybe it's just my family) a 2nd shower is not normal but if there is a large gap someone will throw another shower(maybe small, maybe big). Also, if it is known that the new baby is a different gender than any older children the family with throw a small family shower with gifts being only clothes and gender specific/consumables as gifts. For a new baby of the same gender and/or closely spaced family will just bring a small gift when they first meet the new baby(usually a small gift for baby and a slightly bigger gift for older sib).
post #44 of 54
Here in Louisiana it is common but not customary to have baby showers for each baby. I have had one with all of my children. My first was a traditional shower in my native Kentucky and was huge. My family is large so all of my aunts, cousins, and friends were there. With my second it was a small gathering of friends who got me a high chair and we sat around and ate. My third was just 3 friends who surprised me at my house one evening with good food and company. One henna painted my belly. I got a new outfit for the baby, a blanket, and some socks. With number 4 I had a bigger shower at church with some friends. We had good food and I got a few gifts. I had given everything away after #3 so it was nice to have people give us a few outfits and some bath stuff. We also painted letters for her room.

I personally have no problem going to showers for each baby. I love hanging out with my friends and having good food and company.
post #45 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by tanyam926 View Post
I haven't read all the responses but I just wanted to write that this is one instance where I say etiquette be damned.

I don't care how many babies someone has or how many showers someone has, it is always fun in my community/circle of friends/family to have a little celebration when someone is expecting a baby. I have never thought badly of someone for having a baby shower for a 2nd, 3rd, etc. baby. Never. I really enjoy shopping for something thoughtful for the new baby, maybe something that I found very useful for my children or that I know they don't have. I also always include something for special for the mom, bc all moms deserve a litte pampering after having a new baby, even if it's not their first.

In my experience the moms to be whose showers I have been invited to were not entitled, worried about the gifts types of people.

So I say party on! No matter what you call it, whether gifts are brought or not (and IME most people LOVE baby shopping, even for something small), having a new baby is something to celebrate. Plus, not everything from the first baby can be reused, there are many things that a new mother might need for a subsequent child. If I knew anyone who was the type of person to tsk tsk over this kind of thing I wouldn't really want them to come anyway.
Totally agree. I'm going to a baby shower for baby #2 of a friend in a couple weeks, and I'm excited! It's about celebrating the mom and the new baby, and everyone loves shopping for little baby things. I'm not offended at all. And it's a SUPER sweet mama who's had a VERY rough pregnancy. It's a nice excuse to all go to tea
post #46 of 54
I'm also in the PNW and all the moms I know that have had multiple babies did have another shower. I'm not a fan of the idea unless the mom really NEEDS stuff. I'm all for a celebration though.
post #47 of 54
I voted not usually. If the 2nd baby comes within a couple years after the 1st then there typically isn't a baby shower. If the 2nd baby is 5+ years after the first there is sometimes a shower thrown.

So many factors influence it though. When my dp's brothers wife had a baby almost 2 years ago dp's mom threw her a baby shower. DP's brothers wife has another child (who was 7ish when the baby was born) BUT that boy was from a different relationship and the mom/boy recently moved from Canada to Kentucky so didn't have any baby stuff.

I have one ds, who is 6. DP and I will probably try to have another baby in 4ish years so ds will be 10ish. DS is not dp's bio-child. I would be shocked if dp's mom didn't throw a baby shower if/when I get pregnant, even though I have another child. I have absolutely nothing from when ds was a baby (except a few special outfits) so it would be much appreciated
post #48 of 54
I'm not sure (I don't think its super common to have a second baby shower here..........but every once in awhile I'm sure it happens)

HOWEVER - if I ever get pregnant with a boy (big IF ) I will get someone to throw me a shower............I literally have NOTHING for a boy since my husband loves the color pink and everything but the crib would have to be bought
post #49 of 54
Nope, just a first baby.
post #50 of 54
Pretty much everyone but me regardless of the gap between kids has one with EVERY kid around here. I went to the last 3 of my SIL's (didn't know her yet when she had the first). I didn't have one the second time around because I didn't enjoy the first one. Everyone assumed I'd have one and asked when it was. When I said I wasn't having one they shot me a weird look and said, "whY!?"

They said, "You need someone to throw it? I'll throw it. You can just have it at your house. It will be so much fun. I can't believe you weren't going to have one! Why isn't your mom throwing one for you?"

My answer, "No thank you.... and at my house!? So you want me to have to deal with cleaning, keeping my dogs quiet, letting a bunch of other kids tare my house apart, dishes, and having to entertain and keep everyone happy and included. Like I said, thanks but NO THANKS! Oh, and my mom isn't throwing one for me because she knows me much better than that!"

People here also seem to like to have an engagement party, bridal shower, bachlorette party, bachlor party, co-ed pre wedding party, reception, and maybe even another informal type of reception after the honeymoon.... followed by a house or apartment warming party... then a baby shower! I think people are just cheap around here and try to rake in as much free stuff and excuses to get drunk as possible. *shrug*
post #51 of 54

Other

Not all the time, but lots of moms do have showers for the second child
post #52 of 54
I had a shower for all my babies. They all deserve a celebration in my opinion.
post #53 of 54
I've noticed it's pretty common here (Mississippi/Deep South) and I always thought they were just supposed to be 'diaper/wipe' showers for the 2nd one but really there are no rules and people make just as much of a fuss the first time as the 2nd time. I turned down a 2nd one when offered for me. It was kind of my friends, but I had 4 baby showers for the first (which was insane) and I had two boys and everything I already needed, so there was just no need and would have been overkill. I would have loved a Blessingway though, but those are not known around these parts.
post #54 of 54
Can't really say here in New England... haven't been invited to any baby showers out here. But back home in the Midwest it's not common to have a second baby shower and if one does it is somewhat frowned upon. Celebrations for the new baby... yes. Showers with gift registries and all that... no.
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