Ever feel like you're just winging it?

[laughymama]

Remind me again, no one actually has it all "figured out", right?

Because it suspiciously looks like other people do and we're the only ones who don't.

[MusicianDad]

Trust me, we are all going into this blind and doing what we can to come out the other side still in one piece.

It only looks like they know what they are doing because you are on the outside. From their perspective you probably look like you have it all figured out.

[One_Girl]

I constantly feel like I am winging it. I am also not sure what to do beyond talking to her though for the most part so what my friend tells me she thinks is me being a good mom is just me not knowing what else to do. I am sometimes surprised by how much you can do as a parent by just talking about things with a child, getting their point of view, and occassionally giving them your point of view.

[barefootmama0709]

I got lucky and had a lot of exposure to babies and kids as a teen and young adult (I was actually working as a nanny up until the month before ODS was born). People were shocked (even my ped.) to find out ODS was my first baby because they said I did so well with him. I totally feel like I'm flying blind ALL THE TIME-I wish I knew as much as everybody else thought I did!

[LuxPerpetua]

Days like I had to day constantly remind me that I don't have any secret to the universe of children figured out. Some days, things go well, some days, not so well, and some days make rotten potatoes smell good (today was the latter). Our days that go well are partly luck and partly that dd just felt good enough to be cooperative and was apparently not going through some sort of mental somersault (which always happens at her half and one year birthdays). I have no idea if other have it under control, but to be honest, I'm always treading water.

[Drummer's Wife]

I feel like I'm winging it pretty much ever day!

Parenting changes all the time, and is different as the kids get older. For me, babyhood and young toddlerhood were easy - but preschool and up is when I find myself challenged on a daily (okay, hourly) basis.

Even with four kids, the oldest being 9, we don't know what the heck we are doing.

[jeanine123]

Every freaking day it seems like. Though it has gotten better now that they're a bit older. The ones who look like they have it figured out are folks that you caught at the right time of day IMO.

[sewchris2642]

Nah, they're flying just as blind as you are. Your parents winged it and their parents before them back through time. And, ime, you wing it with each and every child all over again. My second resolution as a parent was to only make each parenting mistake once. So far, I've managed to keep that resolution.

[annettemarie]

Every day of my life. Frankly, I'm shocked we've made it this far. I think life is mostly improv though.

[Jaxinator]

I have the cuddles and hugs and kisses part down. Everything else, eh.

[momasana]

Yep, totally winging it. And it is so helpful to have the support of other parents who share the same style of winging it.

[cappuccinosmom]

It only looks like they know what they are doing because you are on the outside. From their perspective you probably look like you have it all figured out.

That's exactly right. I get a lot of comments about what a "good mother" I am and how I am "doing so well" with motherhood.

The people who say that have no idea of my fault and failures and insecurities and guilt. They only see me and my kids for a tiny fraction of our lives. I don't know what I'm doing any more than anyone else. I'd say I've improved a lot and learned a lot through mommying three kids, and I'm a better mother now than I was when I started, but that in no way means I've got it figured out.

[EdnaMarie]

Feel like? I've been winging it my whole life. I thought that's what I was supposed to be doing. Are there people doing it by the book? Why? How?

[~Boudicca~]

Yup. Every day of my life.

[rightkindofme]

I feel like I've probably done more research than most people due to my insecurities/inadequacies but even so... yeah. This is scary stuff and I'm totally just faking it.

[AFWife]

I can tell you, from personal experience, the ones that think they "have it all figured out" usually don't have children. They're the ones that have read all the "how to" parenting books and never had to put it into practice. My step-dad was like that. He was always telling other people what they "needed" to do to raise children...but he was totally lost when he got us (it wasn't exactly fair...we were teenagers)

I get the "such a good mother" comments all the time and I have to have them on constant replay in my head because there are days when I feel like the biggest FAILURE.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Yup! I'm learning as I go. When it looks like I have it all figured out its b/c we're having a good, calm day!

[childsplay]

My motto is - "well, it could always be worse"

That always gets a laugh out of my DH. Because it could be!

One night, when we lived aboard our boat, our A/C pump malfunctioned and started filling the bilges with water. I woke up around 2am to a sloshing sound, hopped out of bed into knee deep water. The boat was sinking, slowly, but still sinking. We had a plan for this sort of thing. But failed to factor in the emotions that would be racing through us. And our kids. DH called the coast guard and I got the kids up onto deck, bringing a few comfort items (blankets and stuffed toys) BUT, I forgot to put them in lifejackets! Of all the things to forget. So I had to sit them on the floor of the cockpit, terrified, while I went below to find the lifejackets. I got them and transferred the kids into the Coast Guard rescue boat, the whole while telling them how much fun we were having. Then I had to leave them to help DH with the leak and to run the pumps. The thing is, the kids were fine. They were climbing all over the Coast Guard boat, playing with all the equipment and chatting with the officers. I wasn't fine though, I was beside myself, I mean, what do you do right? You can plan and plan forever but you really just end up winging it in the end, because there's no way to plan for the emotions that come up in a situation like that.

Winging it is all I know. I cannot, and will never be one of those super organized got it all together Mothers. But I can say this - I'm darn good at winging it

[artgoddess]

Mine are 6.5 and 2.75 and we're still winging it.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I think the better question might be: Is there anyone who is NOT winging it??