Is EC worth the hassle - or is it hassle free??

[rachie]

I currently cloth diaper my 20mo and am due in about two months with a nb baby. I have a cousin who says she does EC "part time" (a routine pee in the morning and some other times through the day and then is in cloth the rest of the time for unexpected accidents).

I'll have to do my research on EC but it seems like you'd have to be home ALL the time and I'm not sure with two toddlers running around that this is something I can do.

Can I hear some testimonials? Is it easy for you? Was it hard to start? Do you EC all the way or "part time" EC and part time cloth?

[dogretro]

You absolutely do not need to be home, or even w/ your kids, all of the time. This is the biggest misconception that I have encountered when discussing ec w/ people. They say, "Well, if you have the time to be w/ your kids all day, good for you." My husband works full time and he is able to practice ec w/ our two kids full-time when he is home, so you tell me, haha!

In our journey, I have found ec to be a mixture of a hassle and a blessing. DD1 has been poop trained since four months old. She has been able to verbally tell you that she needs to poop on the potty since I can't even remember when. That right there has made it all worth it. The hassles come when you are out and about, but you figure them out. We always took a little potty with us in the diaper bag. Right now we have a potty bowl w/ a hole drilled in the lip & it is clipped to the diaper bag w/a D-ring. This works perfectly for ec on the go w/ a small infant.

ECing part-time is a great thing. The point is to help your child to not have to eliminate in their pants & to familiarize them w/ our toileting process. Kids may very well choose to go in their diapers, but they don't have to. Also, full-time ec does NOT always equal no diaper. We are a diapering family, that is for sure! We take the kids to the potty when we feel that they need to go, but otherwise they are diapered or in some kind of training pant. I do not need to deal w/ the stress of worrying if my kid is going to pee her pants. ECing a second child is even easier in many respects. I'm not checking her diaper every 4.5 seconds to see if she is still dry or worrying if she needs to pee. If she acts like she needs to go, I take her. Otherwise, she gets to sit at diaper changing time. When we are out, I offer her the potty & she either goes or does not. If she poops her diaper, eh, she's seven weeks old, lol! I've got lots more diapers! So, yes, we ec full time and diaper full time, at home and out. Once you get used to it, it will be completely normal to you.

[GoldmanBaby09]

Yes to everything Dogretro said. I only have one child so far but EC has been great. We take a potty ring in our diaper bag for when we are out. My husband potties our son when he is home, too. Friends who have babies and toddlers that EC find they have to remind/ help their toddlers potty so why not potty baby while you are already in the bathroom? My son pooped trained at 5 months and that has definitely worth it. Oh, it also gets quicker as your baby gets older and you recognize cues better.
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[anarchamom]

Yes, it is absolutely worth the hassle. My boy is now a little over 5 mo, and I rarely change a poopy diaper. This makes me very happy. He never gets diaper rash and I can just flush it down the toilet (which is very satisfying considering the alternative.)

No, it is not hassle free, but it isn't any more hassle than changing diapers,if you already change them as soon as they are wet.

I consider myself full-time trying and part-time successful. (not to say that the alternative is failure) I change many wet diapers in a day, but not for lack of trying. Though I'm home all day with my boy, I think it makes sense that you could do EC part-time because once the baby figures it out, you will inevitably catch when you do try. They catch on pretty quickly. If I recall correctly, my baby peed the very first time I took him to the pot. Beginners luck? Who knows. who cares?

I don't think you would regret trying, and if you don't like it, just stop and don't beat yourself up about it.

[pixiepunk]

IME (i diapered my oldest until 9 mo when i discovered EC, and EC'd #2 from about 6 months and #3 from birth) diapers are way more hassle than EC. we are busy people, out and about a lot. frankly it was a heck of a lot easier to catch a poo in a potty and keep going about my merry way than to try and wrestle a poop covered baby on a changing table and then carried a soiled CD around the rest of the day. and once they were comfortable with EC (with my youngest this was at just a few months of age) they strongly preferred to poo at home and had the control to do that, so we almost never had to deal with that when out of the house anyway. and we used diaper/trainer back-up to avoid wet clothes and baby carriers, so when there was a miss it wasn't any different than if we'd just been doing diapers. even with my oldest who was the latest start and the most part-time, there were very infrequent diaper poops by the time she was 12 months and no more at all by 15 months. DS was about that age as well. that in and of itself was worth any extra effort i might have exerted. with my youngest i don't really remember any poopy diapers (save a small potty pause when she learned to walk that lasted about 3 weeks) after about 6 months of age. everyone's experience is different, of course, but all i'm saying is that it was quite the opposite of a hassle on a lot of levels. and the best part was that EC flowed seamlessly into potty independence. there was never any desire on my part to beg, bribe, coerce, etc. they just gradually took on more initiative and i backed off until we were done. having seen a lot of my friends struggle with potty learning, it made me really glad that it was such an easy transition for all of us.

EC can be whatever you want it to be. it definitely does not have to be a hassle. i found it to fit beautifully with our busy, on-the-move lifestyle, even with a 5 and 3 year old to care for. just don't let it be a hassle and it won't, ykwim?

check out Christine Gross-Loh's book, i think it's the best EC 'handbook' out there, with lots of practical tips for various ages, whether you're full-time, part-time, etc.

[campbellsoup]

I didn't EC until my third. I had a wonderful experience .... but when I was expecting my fourth it was difficult to think about starting with a fresh one.

I thought that with four children (7,5 &2 +baby) I should just go back to cloth. Which I did until she was about 5 months. Then, after a nap, I took off her diaper and decided to hold her over the potty (old habit I guess - why waste a perfectly good diaper when I know she has to pee?). I cued, she peed and we began to EC ... again. No one was more surprised than me!

She is 10 months now and will be walking soon which will be perfect timing for her to run around our backyard pantless. Ahh, easy EC time.

Our homeschooling family is busy and there are days when she is in cloth but mostly she is in my sling naked or crawling around in trainers.

[rachie]

Thanks!

Wow! Thanks everyone! I will check out that book. I've even been thinking of doing EC with my older child (which I think is a little different than trying to "potty train" her) - who is in cloth but doesn't like to be in soiled pants at all - I think she'd LOVE using the potty when she can. Her big brother is potty trained and if I'm EC with the new baby - hmmm - maybe should include her in all this and give her her own little potty, get that book and see what might help with her age - it's PERFECT weather to do a lot of pant-less-ness outside in the backyard - we have all summer and they play outside for large parts of the day. Having baby EC may encourage her too, kwim?

[HeliMom]

Seriously, even part time ec the way your cousin does it is totally worth it. I part time EC and I haven't had to deal with a poopy diaper for a a long time. (DD goes poopy every morning in the potty) That alone is worth it to me.

But also now at 14 months she's been showing me she's able to hold her bladder so as long as I make sure to offer the potty every hour she's been using it as opposed to going in her diaper. She also tries to take her diaper off by herself if it's wet.

I think it's super worth it.

[emmaegbert]

I agree with all above. I did not even look into EC with my first b/c I am a full-time student and it sounded like too much hassle.

With my second I checked out Gross-Loh's book from the library on a whim when DD was 2mo, tried it, and WOW. It was much simpler than I thought. We've never EC-ed "full-time" (she's never minded peeing in a diaper particularly, and for a long time she REALLY minded using a potty not at home, so I just didn't worry about it). My approach has been to offer potty chances and assume we'll use diapers too. Of course I am hopeful we'll no longer have misses much soon, but at this point, its really no more work than diapering, and I agree, probably less work.

DD is 13mo now, and I can count on one hand the amount of poopy diapers I have dealt with since starting EC 11 months ago. As you know if you use cloth, that in itself is a great thing! no poopy diapers in the pail!

Anyway, good luck. And if you aren't doing toileting yet with the 20mo, you may as well start the same way you might with a baby anyway- offer potty in the AM when awakening, after nap, before bath and/or bed, and any predictable elimination time (or time you suspect poop is imminent!). I started that w/ my non-ECed boy at 15m b/c he was complaining about dirty and wet dipes, and it was a very natural, non-coercive, longish path to not needing diapers, but felt like it gave him plenty of time to learn about toileting, and to take control over his own bodily functions and hygiene.

[EdnaMarie]

So much good info here that I'll just chant my usual refrain: if you think a year or two of potty training sounds like a hassle with a 0 - 24 month old, imagine eighteen months of toilet training with a 30 - 48 month old, and don't think it won't happen to you, 'cause it happens to the best of people.

EC is not the cure to 100% of training issues, but my point is, you're going to have that hassle anyway, and it doesn't get any less harried when they're pre-schoolers. On the contrary, later you'll have the pre-school (or, if you are unfortunate like my neighbor, KINDERGARTEN) deadline looming. :P Totally worth it, IMO!

[InMediasRes]

I wouldn't expect your older child to PL when your new one comes, but yes, that is the way it worked for us. My older child is conventionally trained and he learned when he saw me putting his baby sister on the potty, just a month after she was born. For us, conventional PL was the hassle and I wanted to avoid that at all costs with my second. My DS has anxiety and sensory issues and learning the potty was a REALLY difficult thing for him. I had kinda-sorta EC'd him (changed every time he was wet and offered the potty occaionally, though it never really caught on) from about 11mo, but he was not fully independent until 3.

I guess it really depends on your perspective. There are about as many ways to EC as their are kids/parents, and it's infintely mold-able to any situation. We use cloth at home (although she is naked a lot now at 16mo). I personally find EC (and CD for that matter) while we are out to be a hassle, so we use sposies. I still try to catch sometimes, but I also have an older child, so it's hard. I don't have to worry about her sitting in wet pants and, like PP said, she prefers to poop at home, so I don't even remember the last time she pooped when we were out.

And you can be as involved or not involved as you want whenever you want, really. If I'm having a good day, I catch as much as I can, but sometimes I just need a break and the diapers go back on for an hour or two and I just change when wet. If your babe is struggling or not liking it, you can back off then too. I think, as long as you take a relaxed approach, it's not a hassle by any stretch of the imagination.

I don't feel stuck at home at all (and believe me, I would go nuts if I was!). Yeah, the newborn stage when they pee like every 15 minutes sometimes is pretty work-intensive, but it pays off really quickly as they gain muscle control and awareness, and you really are shaving a long time and a lot of laundry off your diapering experience in the end.

And personally, I just find it incredibly fun. Not everyone will, I guess, but seeing that kind of awareness and ability in a tiny tiny baby was so amazing to me. And now that she's a toddler, seeing that she really DOES have the ability to keep herself dry all day (with some help, of course) just makes my heart swell with respect and love, just like watching them take their first steps.

[zoebird]

i actually got my footing ECing when out of the home.

i suppose it's like working from home. when you work frm home, you often think about the other thing you could be doing--like laundry or dishes. when i am with my son at home, it's pretty similar. ECing is actually tougher, because i loose track of time, get distracted by whatever household thing i need to do, etc.

when i found myself starting to go out with my nb--within a couple of weeks--i found it was much easier to EC him there, and then that worked backwards into making it easier in the home.

i find ECing tougher at this age (21 mo) because of his activity. i try to keep him on a rhythm now (going every hour in the morning, every 1.5 hrs in the afternoon), and we still have a miss now and again, but i also find it is easier to remember when out than when in! LOL

i used cloth for back up at home, disposable while out (though rarely tossed a used disposable), and now i use a cloth trainer for back up while in or out. it works out great for us.

for me, this is *so* much easier than a miss. if i had a poop miss in a cloth diaper--then or now--and in particular while out, it's a nightmare for me to figure out how to clean it up enough to transport it home, and then clean it again, and then put it into the washer. but, with EC, i rarely have that problem. i don't have to clean a lot of poop of of folds while he wiggles and tries to get away, or out, or over or whatever (now that he's so curious and mobile). just a bit of TP like i would use, and away he goes.

so, for me, it's much easier than diapers alone. so much less work, so much less clean up!

and you know, it's worth a shot. if you don't like it, you can go back to diapers and no worries.

[sky_and_lavender]

I've been an a very laid back part-time ECer with my baby who is now 10 months. For us ECing was a good early bonding experience and is now a happy way to save me from having to clean up poopy diapers now that the babe is no longer exclusively bf'ed. I like the way we ended up doing it, using cloth diapers and then ECing when it wasn't overwhelming.

It doesn't really have to be a whole lifestyle if you don't want it to be. For me, it's just another tool for connecting with my babe and teaching her about life as a human. Definitely worthwhile. Nothing to lose.

[AislinCarys]

Originally Posted by sky_and_lavender

For us ECing was a good early bonding experience [...]

It doesn't really have to be a whole lifestyle if you don't want it to be. For me, it's just another tool for connecting with my babe and teaching her about life as a human. Definitely worthwhile. Nothing to lose.

Yep, I agree to that! I always say that EC-ing was a more bonding experience than breastfeeding.

And DD's been in underpants since 18 months, around the clock Since then, no night-time misses at all, although some days she does wet herself (just the underpants, though), a couple of times - and other times she'll be dry for a week or two! And in the past 10 months, there has been a few episodes, a week (once or twice), when she's wet herself spectacularly a few times a day, and one week in October when she kept taking her pants off and poo on the floor (very odd, as she'd had less than 10 poo misses since about the age of 4 months).

DH tells everyone that EC-ing is the best thing we've done as far as parenting goes. And I think it made my life, during those frantic early months, and fighting with supply issues and thoughts of inadequacy, so much easier and more joyful!

[hipumpkins]

Totally worth it!
It 's much easier to teach a baby what to do than a preschooler (or toddler) what NOT to do anymore even though this is what I taught you to do for 2-3years!!!

[Sharlla]

i dont think its a hassle. when we are out i just sit her on a toilet and she goes.
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[USAmma]

I'm going to share about my EC experience with my daughter who is now 9. I was unable to bf and pumped/bottle-nursed instead. When I heard of EC I remembered seeing a version of it in India (where my dh is from). I had success within a day or so of starting it, and that continued until she learned to walk. After that, she was not in the least bit interested in sitting still. She did continue to do the first morning pee on the potty until she potty trained later, but completely gave up the rest of it. I also feel (looking back) that she had undiagnosed Celiac Disease and that starting solids made her tummy hurt and she associated it with bms and potty time. She finally potty trained for good at age 3 years, 9 months.

Was it a lot of work? Yeah. No doubt about it. It was inconvenient at times. I remember worrying about catching the pee as she woke up from her nap. There were a few times when she pooped on the carpet and crawled through it and made a trail. Yuck. I was not paying attention to her cues. She did have a very clear cue at around 8 months old or so. She was an early talker and would often say "done" as her cue. Or just get that look of getting ready to go. I could not be alert all of the time. I was doing housework, listening to the radio and such and missing her cues confused her. So did going out of the house and sometimes needing to use a diaper if we could not find a potty, or could not stop the car for her to go.

I can totally see this working in a place with dirt/concrete floors, lots of aunties and big sisters around to mind the baby so mom can do her own work, too, and still someone can focus on the baby. I just don't see it as being very practical in our carpeted houses and long commutes and social things.

Do I regret it? No. I had the time and I was glad to do it. It was fun and incredible. But obviously it didn't give any advantage to early potty training. My second child who was a very very sick baby (feeding tube, vomiting, etc) and who I did not expect to PT early, decided one day at 20 months to use the potty and that was that. It was SO easy. Much easier than EC. No pressure, no timings and watcing cues. But of course the diaper washing. (With EC there was carpet, bedding, and clothing washing sometimes-- every day had one accident at least, but still pretty good for a little baby to catch 90% of it).

Now my dd is 9 and the other one is 6. EC and diapering seem so far away now, and not nearly as important as I thought it was at the time. I loved cloth diapering and EC, but also just know that if your child feels love and security, that is the most important thing. Of couse. :-)

[marija_jane]

I don't think it is a hassle unless you let it be, like anything. If you think you are supposed to be watching her every second for a cue then you'll let it become a hassle. If you keep perspective, stay relaxed, then it is just another enjoyment of communicating and responding to your baby. And each successful potty is less laundry or less landfill, which is great!

Doing EC does not mean the baby has to be diaper-free all the time. Or ever. But personally I did find it MUCH easier to clean the carpet than a squirmy uncooperative baby. The carpet doesn't run away, LOL. Plus its easy enough to rent, borrow, or buy one of those carpet power washers if you feel the carpets need it.

Also, I found that days when I was at home all day we had tons of misses, but if we were out and about, I would take DS to the public restrooms when we arrived somewhere (or bushes, on occasion) and he would stay in the same diaper for 12 hours.

[isabchi]

I have to EC "graduated" children. My oldest , now 5 yo (late started, around 12 mo) and my just 22 mo. (he's been ECing from birth). I feel that the "extra" work in the begening is part of the hard work with a new baby, but it offer an excellent option to reconize babies cues and cries. Then, they don't loss the awaerness of their own body funtions. It can be sure feel as an hassle if you baby cues when he needs to go or is wet and we're busy. But from my point of view, that's is great thing. Some times my babies cried if they had a misses (pee) in the car seat, for sure could be sound as an extra think to do, but i'll be happy of their awarness and for sure I was happy that they are not confortable been in a soaked diaper. I can't see myself no ECing a baby. I can't turn my head to their cues and not offer the potty. I'm also a very lay back and very busy too!. Altough, I like to make my life easy and manegeable. I had a potty in each room ($5 in IKEA), each bathroom, one in the car and a tupperware container with a lid in the diaper bag for convenience. In the late month, i just had a underware and a pant in my bag. We had many ups and downs due or busy life, but in the end EC is been very convenient for us. My youngest past a potty strike for a couple week around his 10ish mo. and I took some EC breaks form the full time when I so stress about our financial problems, but I always went back after the "break". Now, at his 22 mo. , we had almost no misses, no diaper, no trainers, no more pad in the bed, no diapers bags... thats for me hassle free!

[rissierae]

I EC'd my ds from birth who is now over 2 and what I would consider an EC grad. I never thought of it as a hassle. Just like breastfeeding, once you develop a relationship, it just becomes second nature.

I remember things seeming a little overwhelming when ds was first born, but it's because I'd never had a baby before (and never cared for a baby before), so I had to learn everything at once- i.e. BFing, EC, babywearing, swaddling... so I don't think it would have been that different had I developed a relationship with him where I just expected him to go in his diaper. I would have still felt overwhelmed learning how to care for a newborn, whether or not I did EC.