When do you tell people?

[dejagerw]

When do you feel comfortable telling others you are pregnant?

[mommariffic]

Well, I'm 100% sucky at keeping any kind of "secret," so the second I had a positive I went and called anyone that really mattered the most to me. I figure it's all part of the journey, and if something happened I'd want them to know either way.

[AmyKT]

I told family and best friends at about 8 weeks with both, which was after the first ultrasound. For work and the larger world, I waited until I felt I was showing, which was 15 wks with the 1st and 11 wks with the second.

[Pinoikoi]

I think this needs a multioption answer.. I told dp and my care provider right away.. I tell my parents and extended family after hearing heartbeat.. I tell coworkers after I am starting to show or if morning sickness has kicked in hard (which may happen prior to showing in some cases).

[lovebug]

given the major ups and downs of my ectopic baby, i will not peep a word to anyone (other then DH, my mom, sister, best friend and sister in law) until after the first tri...

[pollyanna123]

I tell close friends and family pretty close after we find out. I tell most people who would care after seeing the heartbeat on an 8w u/s. I won't tell "the world" (ie Facebook) until after the first trimester.

[Baby~Braatens~Mama]

I told my sisters and dp first, waited until after my first ob to inform work and didn't really have to tell anyone else... between my sisters and my man I think everyone found out by the 8th week, which was also when I got to see my OB.

I was just so crazy feeling about it. Excited, scared. And really worried about my job. We do a lot of heavy lifting, pushing and use some pretty nasty chemicals so I needed to inform them of my little bundle asap.

[lillymonster]

last time I told people right away because I was miserable, so work needed to know why I was missing so much time. I was actually starting to show by 7 weeks I think, I gained 11 pound by 10 1/2 weeks

I told a few people this time, but won't post on facebook until after 12 weeks. Oddly I have not gained any weight yet, so I am not really showing and I am 10 weeks.

[limette]

I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks and I still tell everyone the minute I get a positive test.

[Loving1]

I told a relative at 7 weeks when I first found out and a close friend, shortly thereafter.

I wasn't thrilled at first, plus I was sick and nervous so I waited until after the first trimester to tell family.

I told my job and the wider world after 20 weeks.

[Annoia]

I told BF and my Mom right away. A few other close friends soon there after.

Everyone else got to find out when they saw me pop - at around 6 months when I came back from a long trip.

There are still people who don't know, and will be like "You had a WHAT?!?!"

[RedOakMomma]

Very close friends: right away

Family and other friends: After hearing the heartbeat

Neighbors, extended family, less-close friends: After getting past fearing a loss (so for us, this time, it was after the 20-week ultrasound).

Miscarriages are hard. Un-telling a bunch of people, then dealing with all their insensitive stories about their friend's aunt who had 15 miscarriages, or their sister's in-law who thought she had a miscarriage but didn't, or their doctor's wife who had a stillbirth at 40 weeks ("so you just never know!") is just. not. worth. it.

We wait.

[PrettyHippie]

With our first we told right away but then lost that baby at 12 weeks. The next time my Mom and Dad found out when I had to cancel dinner on them b/c we were racing to the ER at 9 weeks due to bleeding. Everything managed to work out and DD was born 6/08. My next one ended before we even had the chance to tell anyone. I told my Mom after though. My next DD I lost at 20 weeks so basically everyone knew. That was rough... With this baby we went ahead and told everyone pretty early. We figure that everyone basically knows my history and some extra prayers aren't going to hurt a darn thing. I'm 13w5d so so far, so good.

[Manessa]

I used to tell everyone right away. Then I lost a baby at 17 weeks and "untelling" everyone was really hard. So, when I got pregnant this time, we waited until after 20 weeks to tell most people. Those close to me knew pretty early, but I'm 36 weeks, and it seems some people are still just finding out

[lilmiss'mama]

Family & close friends right away.
Work I still haven't told...probably around 20 weeks.
Thought about keeping it a secret, but then thought my family & friends will know something is wrong if anything were to happen, so I might as well tell them. Plus it was so hard not to tell!

[HeatherB]

We've mostly told pretty much right away. Once DH and I both know (which sometimes has taken a couple of days as I try to come up with a good way to tell him), then we have to tell the kids, my parents (local), call his parents, our out of town family... And somewhere in there, we let the word out to local friends. So, it's often within a week of finding out.

This time, though, I ended up telling my MW first, DH second (within an hour or two, and somewhat unceremoniously!), and then we had to wait about 10 days to tell anyone else. My mom was going out of town and we had other family coming in for DS1's birthday, so it was sort of odd timing. We held the news for a full 2 weeks for local friends. That seemed like forever.

So, we told at 6 weeks this time. I don't see my MW until about 10 weeks, and we don't necessarily hear a HB then. Waiting for any of those things seems like it would be forever.

[JessieBird]

Right away: close family and friends, birthing centre

Around 9-11 weeks: other friends and work (both times I'd planned to wait longer but was so sick and had other work things going on like travel and year-in-advance project planning that made it easier just to tell them and get it over with)

[CLH_X3]

My parents and OH parents will be at the 8 week point.

Mine/His CLOSE friends will be told at 12 weeks along with other family members but they will all told to be kept shhh about it.

The whole world .. such as Facebook etc will be told as late as possible, either till Im very Obv preg and people see me around and write on my FB or Until I write on there but that will be very late in my preg if I can help it.

All my friends will be told to keep shhh about it as well, I dont want everyone knowing my buisness..

[~Demeter~]

Normally I can't keep a secret to save my life. I usually tell right away... I had a miscarriage 6 weeks before I conceived this one, so their reactions and having to untell were very, very much in my memory. My family wasn't overly happy that we were adding a 5th to our brood. So I was waiting this time until they noticed... unfortunately my son ratted me out. I was 15 weeks along so.. it was better than early on. Anyway, so far I haven't really 'told' anybody they either knew.. or noticed on their own.

[Drummer's Wife]

I voted right away, b/c that is what we did the first 3 times. The 4th pregnancy I decided to wait until 12 weeks - I dunno why, maybe for a change? To keep it to ourselves b/c we were happy but weren't sure how others would respond? - anyhow, I think it kinda hurt my mom's feelings (and maybe my sisters) that we didn't share our news sooner. I won't do that again. I could see waiting until 6 weeks, and then telling at least family and close friends.

The miscarriage issue for me, personally, doesn't play into it b/c as hard as I know it would be to tell several people we lost the baby, I can't imagine not having the support in a time of sadness. It would be even harder to me, I guess, to both announce the pregnancy and miscarriage in one breath. Otherwise I guess I'd be keeping that a secret, too - and I can't imagine not at least telling those closest to me that I had experienced that.