shower for 3rd baby idea: re-use, recycle, regift. tacky?

[newlywaaz]

Background: I had a shower thrown for me for my first baby, but it was not in my home state and I quickly moved even further away (to a different country!) where my second baby was born, with no shower. Now I am pregnant with my 3rd boy, and back in my home state with all of my family (on both sides) and 2 church families. I feel sure that they want to throw me a shower, but honestly I don't need anything! I have clothes, toys, diapers, and carriers galore. I also have been trying to live simply and not purchase anything new that is not essential. Truly, the only thing I NEED is a new carseat. It would be nice to have another cosleeper, since I loaned my thrifted one to a friend and didn't get it back before moving, but not at the price they are new from the store, no matter who is purchasing it!

So, my brainstorm solution is to suggest a shower with a re-use, recycle, regift theme. If ppl bring me new things I will certainly be grateful and such, but I think it would be fun to freezer-paper stencil thrifted onesies, have people bring me their hand-me-downs, or hand-made gifts instead of store bought. If they really want to purchase something, would it be terrible to have a registry full of things from Etsy instead of mainstream baby stores?

please tell me if this would come across totally wrong if you were a potential guest. I don't want to offend anyone, and I "get" that this is an opportunity to bless me that these ladies haven't yet had, but any ideas to downsize the loot gracefully would be appreciated!

[Honey693]

I don't know how most ppl feel, but I think it's a great idea! I'm a total bargain shopper most of the time and I'd love the opportunity to go through DD's old stuff and thrift store shopping for books and clothes.

[lillymonster]

If you don't need anything, then how about suggesting they make you food so you don't need to cook after the baby? Or recipe book of easy dinners?

I mean I think it's a neat idea, but personally, even though I graduated with a degree in art, I have no ability to craft a gift and I don't really think I have anything to give to re-use since we keep a pretty sparse house ourselves.

Just a thought.

[Tiffanoodle]

I think it's a great idea! I know there are times I'd love to bring something I have that I know the person would use, but feel kind of tacky doing that because it's used. kwim? I always feel like I have to go out and buy something new (or look for something that I have stashed around the house that is still new with tags) and it ends up being a lot less meaningful than if I could have just given them something we'd outgrown.

[NorthernPixie]

I don't think it's tacky, provided you do give lots of options for people who either aren't crafty, or don't have anything to give that's used (or don't have kids to know what's useful from a consignment or thrift shop), etc. I did something similar for my sister and listed all kinds of things. I'm assuming you're not throwing your own shower, so maybe brainstorm a list with whomever is and help her word it well. "Coupons" for help after baby, doing fun stuff with the older kids, food in the freezer, etc. And you will always get people buying something, so maybe an option for "gift cert to xyz so we can by a new carseat" would give them an outlet for that. I think it's a fabulous idea.

[newlywaaz]

thanks for the replies! I do like the idea of meal/babysitting coupons too. Our mom's club and church where we lived before did that, but I'm not sure it's as common here. I would certainly appreciate not having to cook or watch the older boys for a couple of hours waaay more than another plastic toy!

[lunarlady]

I think it is a nice idea, but I would make sure to give a list of "ideas" for people. Maybe things for your older children too? Like used books, or clothing in their sizes, and so forth.

[Caryliz]

A friend of mine just had her third, and her MIL threw her a "mom's shower", which I thought was a wonderful idea. She said right out in the invite that B had really everything she needed and more for the baby, but that she was having a C-section and with three kids under the age of 5 in the house was going to need postpartum pampering and support, and to please be creative! Some guests gave gift certificates for massages or spa treatments, some brought copies of their favorite trashy novels, some brought herbal teas to encourage healing, one woman brought a cashmere bathrobe (we live in upstate NY and B is from the deep south and ALWAYS cold, so that was PERFECT!), and some brought frozen soups or casseroles in cooler bags that she could take home and pop in the freezer. My gift to her was to plan a series of all-day activities for her two older kids at my house during her first week home from the hospital - I even took the dog, since we have a fenced- in yard but no dog of our own - and when I returned the kids I brought a homemade dinner, too. We had just bought this house and were about flat broke so I really wasn't in a position to purchase a fancy gift, but it was fun to plan and decorate her "gift certificates" - DS even got in on the act.

The great thing about this shower was that, because there was no registry involved, people were free to spend as much or as little as they felt comfortable with - the emphasis was on mom support/pampering and creativity. And you know? The older "church lady" crowd, whom I expected to be the least comfortable with the idea, were all over it. They kept saying, "I wish someone had thought of this back when we were having babies!!!"

So I say go ahead and do something different. I think people will really appreciate if the emphasis is on utility/creativity and providing things you'll really need/use, regardless of what your theme ends up being. People want to do SOMETHING nice for you and the baby, and will feel even better if they know they are doing something you'll appreciate.

Let us know how this turns out!

[Caryliz]

P.S. Meant to add that this shower produced minimal "loot", since the emphasis was on services more than goods. Yes, she got a fancy bathrobe, but with the exception of the trashy novels, I'm pretty sure everthing else she got that wasn't a gift certificate was a consumable item...you could even specify that, if minimizing the "stuff" is your driving concern.

[JessieBird]

I think it's a great idea! That's what we did for my wedding shower. I really didn't want the traditional pile of gifts so my friend who organized the shower found a subtle way to write "no gifts" on the invitations but still asked everyone to bring a square of knitting or fabric that could be sewn into a throw. It was a great idea and everyone had a lot of fun with it! There were a few people who were intimidated so they brought more traditional gifts instead but that was fine with me and I don't think they were uncomfortable.

Here's another idea - I didn't have a shower for DS but we threw a meet the baby party instead. Again, we didn't need gifts because my very generous SIL had bought us EVERYTHING while I was pregnant. But knowing that people really want to bring gifts, we had book theme and asked everyone to bring their favourite children's book and to tell us why it was their favourite. It was a huge success! Though we didn't specify recycling/regifting, lots of people did bring their child's old dogeared copy or an antique edition that they found at a cottage, that sort of thing, and this made it even more meaningful. The only downside is that we received about ten copies of "I Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch!

[Pinoikoi]

I love the idea, but I take a lot of pride in my "gift giving" so it would be a tough call for me to actually give a gift for something like that..

[Carolinamom4]

Originally Posted by Caryliz

A friend of mine just had her third, and her MIL threw her a "mom's shower", which I thought was a wonderful idea. She said right out in the invite that B had really everything she needed and more for the baby, but that she was having a C-section and with three kids under the age of 5 in the house was going to need postpartum pampering and support, and to please be creative! Some guests gave gift certificates for massages or spa treatments, some brought copies of their favorite trashy novels, some brought herbal teas to encourage healing, one woman brought a cashmere bathrobe (we live in upstate NY and B is from the deep south and ALWAYS cold, so that was PERFECT!), and some brought frozen soups or casseroles in cooler bags that she could take home and pop in the freezer. My gift to her was to plan a series of all-day activities for her two older kids at my house during her first week home from the hospital - I even took the dog, since we have a fenced- in yard but no dog of our own - and when I returned the kids I brought a homemade dinner, too. We had just bought this house and were about flat broke so I really wasn't in a position to purchase a fancy gift, but it was fun to plan and decorate her "gift certificates" - DS even got in on the act.

The great thing about this shower was that, because there was no registry involved, people were free to spend as much or as little as they felt comfortable with - the emphasis was on mom support/pampering and creativity. And you know? The older "church lady" crowd, whom I expected to be the least comfortable with the idea, were all over it. They kept saying, "I wish someone had thought of this back when we were having babies!!!"

So I say go ahead and do something different. I think people will really appreciate if the emphasis is on utility/creativity and providing things you'll really need/use, regardless of what your theme ends up being. People want to do SOMETHING nice for you and the baby, and will feel even better if they know they are doing something you'll appreciate.

Let us know how this turns out!

what a great idea!!

[Stayathomemommy]

Look up Blessingway. I do a Christian version for friends and have had them done for me. the focus is not on gifts but on celebrating life! we cant let these special moments go by without celebrating! Its also a great moms night out before baby is born. I would tell who ever is throwing the "shower" that you need two big items (carseat, sidesleeper) and just have a collection instead of gifts so that what you need can be purchased.

I also LOVE the meal idea. you could even make that part of the shower where everyone cooks together a bunch of freezer meals.