So Overwhelmed With It All

[Princess77]

I live in a (1998) 14 by 60 Clayton mobile home. My dh and 2 sons live here so that makes four of us. We have lived here since 1997 and over the years the things have piled up. I get rid of stuff only to have more to organize and I just feel paralyzed emotionally as what to do with it all. I had a yard sale this past week and no one even stopped in besides the neighbor bcuz we live in the country. I made $20. Hardly worth all the effort. Now I wonder how do you decide what to get rid of or sell? Plus how do you organize when you live in a small place? Where do I put the stuff that needs to be sorted thru to organize? It seems that I can have a good idea but then I just don't follow thru with it bcuz I get disgusted. I need motivation, inspiration, or some advice bcuz I'm at my wit's end!

[annethcz]

I'm at the point where I'm trying not to store too many items anymore. If it's something I'm not using, and something I don't love, I'm letting that item go. If at some point in the future I need that item again, I trust that I will be able to acquire it. For example, I've gotten rid of many of my books and I use the library heavily. I'm cutting down on the amount of clothing I keep for my children. I used to buy clothes (from ebay or on clearance) for the kids to grow into, and I don't do that much anymore. It's just too much to keep track of it all.

I find that if I don't have a place to keep something, it's better for me to just let it go. I also live out in the country and I haven't attempted a garage sale, for the same reason you mentioned- I just don't think anyone would show up. I pass outgrown clothes onto friends, but most other items I donate to organized charities. At this point, the convenience of donating is more important to me than money I would make selling items on craigslist or ebay. For a few higher end items, I'm willing to go to the effort, but not for most items.

I also try REALLY hard not to hold onto anything to 'sort later.' I find a place for it NOW (throw, donate, or a place in the house), instead of holding onto the item for just in case.

For me, it took awhile to sink in, but junk is junk whether it's sitting in my house or in a landfill. While I don't LIKE to throw things away, leaving them in my home doesn't make the item any more useful or valuable. Once I got over my aversion to throwing things away, it made decluttering much easier.

[Fay]

Do you have an active Freecycle group in your area?

I felt completely weighed down and overwhelmed by our clutter for years. My method has been to give away or sell one bag or box every week. I also have a Christmas policy of giving away more stuff than we buy. So one week I freecycled my old dance shoes, leotard & tights. Another week I donated a box of books to the library. For two weeks I combed the house for stuff to give to the church rummage sale. One week I sent a box to each of my nieces containing a rag doll handmade & embroidered by my grandmother 30 years ago. Another week I recycled 4 large boxes of papers. You get the idea. 4 years later the result is that our basement is almost empty, our closets are manageable, and we have everything we need. And I still have stuff to donate to the church rummage sale this year!

[zoebird]

in your situation, if you are going to sell, send it all to an auction house (or take it there). when they auction it, they'll send you a check.

or, if yu just need it out, donate it.

sometimes, it's better to be done with it, then work hard to get a dollar or two, and then have to get rid of it anyway.

[sunshineafterrain]

Hi
I am re-reading Peter Walsh's It's All Too Much (he's the guy from Clean Sweep, if you've seen that show)

Anyway, his biggest piece of advice is to envision the life you wish to live as the starting point~ then it becomes easier to weed, because you have a focus and know what impedes your life and what will enhance it

He also talks about the laws of physics: you have a certain amount of space and there is a limit to what you can fit- and still have room to live

I think it is Crayfish on this board (among others) who has wonderful advice and talks about the importance of being able to put things away easily -like if you have to rearrange the cabinet or drawer every time you try to put something away~how difficult we are making what could be a 5 second job if we'd leave open space
(she says it better lol)

Good luck!!

[catscharm74]

After 2 huge yard sales, I ran out of steam for a 3rd. Believe me, we had a HOUSE full of stuff. I set up a bin for keep, a box for donate and a trash bag for trash. As I filled up the donate, out to the car it went. I would make a deal that on Mondays, I would donate, no matter how much or little I had. It was always a nice start to the week.

Remember, it will get messy before it will get better. I remember hubby came home and it looked like the house exploded. It took me 3 days to get through the large bulk of it. Do not try to organize as you go. Get the stuff out first. You can "organize" like with like...set up a spot of all kitchen stuff, all bathroom stuff, all kids stuff...etc...It will let you see how much you have and make it easier when you do go to organize.

Do not run room to room...start with the smallest and work your way out. I tend to empty out a room as much as I can and then you can make this your designated spot for keep, donate, trash. Deal with those 3 piles everyday. Take out the trash and the donate.

It took me over a year to get through the initial stuff. Then it was maintenance and as my lifestyle has changed, I can easily go through a drawer or closet as needed.

It is hard work and it is exhausting. Maybe ask a friend over, not necessarily to get rid of the stuff but maybe to fold clothes up for you or clean items you know you are keeping. Just to help out. Good luck!!!

[nd_deadhead]

It sounds like you need to do a little at a time. Start with a very small area (one shelf of a closet or one dresser drawer, for example), take everything out, and only put back what you really need - nothing that you think you might need in a few months or years. Throw away anything that's broken or old or not used anymore. Put things back in a way that you can see what you have - I like to use shoeboxes or other small boxes to keep things organized. For example, I have a cardboard box in my linen closet marked "Pain meds", which has ibuprofen and acetaminaphin, as well as prescription pain meds that have not yet expired. Another box is labeled "cough and cold".

I went through ALL my clothes (or so I thought) in February, and donated a lot of items to our church rummage sale. I went through my closet again a couple of weeks ago, and found a bunch more clothes to get rid of. I tried on everything - if it didn't fit, it was gone. I couldn't believe I was able to find so much stuff the second time around, after I thought I did such a good job the first time! It was a big project - it took a few hours, and the bedroom was a disaster until I was finished, so I don't recommend that as a first project for you! But you could go through a small portion of your closet at a time.

It might be worthwhile for you to get a box or a tub to store things in, until you can get them to a thrift store (hopefully within the week).

Good luck! I know that once you take those first few steps, it will get easier for you.

Do you have a friend who might be willing to help? Sometimes it's easier for others to decide if something is worth keeping or not (or even to help decide between tossing and donating).

[Princess77]

Thanks for all your advice. I guess some of my problem is dealing with the guilt that I feel. I feel bad for letting it get this way, the money spent (even if it was a bargain ... it wasn't a bargain if it was never used) and worrying that I'll turn out like my mom who to this day is a hoarder but won't admit she has a major problem. Last year I got rid of over six 30 gal. trash bags full of stuff. It felt good at first then when I started telling people about it they thought I was crazy to of not had a yard sale and make money from it. Of course I starting feeling guilty and there was a few things a regretted getting rid of. There's just this nagging voice in my head that says what's the use you can't win for losing. I love Peter Walsh, Marla Cilly (a.k.a. flylady) and recently I've been reading Sandra Felton books. They all seem to give me that lil boost I need. That's why I posted this and have been reading over this forum to give me that motivation that I need to get moving and get some things done to this house to make it a home.

[catscharm74]

You have already done so well...don't forget that. Don't feel guilty...I was the recipient of 4 bins of "heirlooms" that I didn't really want. Old glassware and stuff probably worth some money to someone else but me. I moved those items 3x, constantly worrying about breaking them, for the guilt would set in. I didn't want them but I was obligated, ya know. Well...no more...last time we move, I broke the handle on a very old teapot. No amount of super glue was going to help it. That right there turned a lightbulb on for me and I donated everything else. I didn't need that kind of worry or that amount of clutter. Yes, I probably could have made money but the 20 minutes it took me to pack up the stuff and donate was far worth more than any amount of money.

I look at it this way, it could all be still sitting here, taking up room, not making me anything or my sanity. I choose my sanity.

[nd_deadhead]

Arrrrgh! at those people who criticized you for getting rid of stuff!!

I'm with Catscharm - time and sanity are valuable commodities, and if you can gain a little of each by getting rid of stuff, you are doing yourself a huge favor.

Next time, don't tell anyone but us that you threw things away - we'll cheer you on! Or donate items without guilt - it's a good feeling to let someone else have things that you no longer need.

I wish I could help you with the guilt feelings. Guilt can be a huge deterrant to doing a lot of things. How about a hug?

(((((you)))))

[sunshineafterrain]

Don't let anyone guilt you- this stuff is sucking the life out of you and your family

Whatever it cost, no matter how expensive or great a deal, no matter who gave it to you, no matter what anyone else thinks-- it is burdening you.

Peter Walsh also points out how people always use words like can't breathe,suffocating, feeling buried~ because of all the stuff and that's because that is what it is doing to you

Another point he makes is that it robs you of the present- you save thngs from the past for memories etc, you save things for the future~ and when it becomes too much you have given up today

You hang in there! You are doing great~ do NOT listen to any naysayers!!!!

[catscharm74]

I agree...don't tell anyone and just do what is right for you and your family. I remember when I was taking stuff out all the time and our nosey landlady ALWAYS commented on how I was throwing out hubby's stuff and would tell him. He knew she was crazy but it was so annoying. It got to a point I would load the truck late at night after she went to sleep. Do it for you and your family.

[Princess77]

Thanks everyone I needed that. Hugs back at you! I have posted some larger things like a table and chest these past few weeks on craigslist and have sold them. I still have a large ent. center and t.v. that hasn't sold but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I think what my dh and I agreed on is to put what I want to get rid of in the bins I already have and place them in our shed. My niece lives in town and says she is wanting to have a yard sale so I will wait until after that and then get rid of everything that doesn't sell afterwards to our local mission. When I've had yard sales with her in the past I usually make over $100. To some that may not be much but to us it's a lot. Anyways tomorrow I will start digging through this mess and hopefully make some progress.

[catscharm74]

Princess...that sounds like a FABULOUS plan!!! Keep going and stay strong.