Would you give up great pay and benefits for more flexibility?

[laurabfig]

With the arrival of our 3rd child coming in October, I'm feeling more and more anxiety about simply managing it all. I currently work as a pediatric occupational therapist with a school district schedule with lots of flexibility (work about 20% of the time from home writing reports and scoring assessments, rest of the time out at schools). I work 4 days a week, but have full benefits including retirement, PTO, and medical/dental/vision ins.
My husband's job doesn't offer any of these benefits, but I've been giving a lot of thought to how important those benefits really are to us as a family. I'm considering giving up "stable" 30 hour per week employment to do private work on my own- much less predictable, but much more flexible and less hours....and NO benefits. I'm not sure we could afford health insurance and retirement on our own without employer sponsored programs, but we would JUST exceed the income limits for state-funded insurance programs for kids.
I'm wondering what other moms' experiences have been with similar situations. How have your decisions worked out practically for you and your family?

[poorlittlefish]

To be honest, from the sounds of your situation I wouldn't give it up. It sounds like you have it pretty darn good. Plus, benefits for a family of 5 without employer contributions, I can't imagine how much that would cost.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

[Quirky]

gosh, there's no way we'd be able to give up the benefits.....especially health insurance. all sorts of stuff happens all the time, even in our very healthy family. just this year, dd2 has had 2 ER visits for pneumonia and a tummy bug (at the same time, ER visits 2 days apart), dh had an ER visit along with every expensive test in the book for suspected appendicitis, and ds stepped on broken glass on the beach and had to go to the ER for stitches. and IIRC we had at least 2 ER visits last year too.....crazy.

also, i really don't think you can underestimate the importance of a retirement plan, not to mention having enough income to be able to pay the bills and actually put money away. the power of compounding is amazing -- if you drop out of your retirement plans say for five or ten years, you will practically never be able to catch up.

honestly mama it does sound like you have a pretty good set-up. i know it's hard with the baby hormones to even think about leaving your sweet little newborn after your leave is up, but there are just too many things in this world that can go wrong and leave you in a very, very hard place if you don't have insurance and savings to deal with them.

[LynnS6]

I could possibly see giving up retirement benefits, but health insurance? Nope, wouldn't do it.

How stable is your husband's job? Can he pick up some of the slack? Can he switch jobs to be more flexible so you can keep your insurance/stable job? (That's essentially the compromise that we've worked. Dh is home more (he works from home), I've got the benefits.)

[laurabfig]

My husband's job is also fairly flexible (works for our church and for a non-profit) and he does do a lot of work from home. Our current plan is to have him watch the baby part of the time when I go back to work....maybe about 10 hours a week. But it is virtually impossible for him to get benefits, b/c the organizations are both so small, and he is part-time with each job.
Honestly, I'm encouraged by the responses above. I feel like sometimes I just need reminders that I have a good deal with my current situation. I'm trying to be thankful, but do struggle with being a "grass is always greener" person. I think some of my contemplation is b/c I'm hormonal and it is fear of the unexpected...heck, I barely remember what it is like to have a baby in the family since it was 5-6 years ago!
Its been good to be reminded that being without health insurance can be really dangerous/financially risky. And that was a great point about the power of compounding retirement funds!
I'd love to hear even more from people- if you have advice to share.

[JessieBird]

My initial response was "yes, in a heartbeat" and this is exactly what I am doing when my #2 comes in October. I'll be quitting my very stable professional job that comes with great pay, full pension, excellent vacation/sick day allowances, and excellent medical/dental/vision benefits just because part time isn't an option and there is very little flexibility. I like the work and my colleagues very much but still it is sucking my soul.

However - I'll be looking for something just like what you've got! I'd be willing to do it without the benefits just to get the reduced hours and flexibility but I live in Canada where those sorts of benefits aren't as critical. It does sound like you have a great situation. Are you able to work less than 30 hours but keep the benefits? Even if only for the first year after you return after the baby is born? That would be something I'd try to work out if you find the workload too great.

Just one other thing to consider - I've seen ads up here for insurance companies that specialize in coverage for self-employed people and people in non-profits. I'm not sure if that exists in the US but if so, it may be an affordable way to buy your own insurance thus giving you the option of leaving the benefits behind if you really feel you must.

[crunchy_mommy]

I'm in a similar situation, I have a job that allows me to WAH 100% now, and pays decently, and provides all our benefits. Problem is, I HATE the job, and I desperately want to quit, but DH's job does not provide health insurance. That's really the killer for me, we aren't eligible for state insurance (but only a little above the limits) and we really do need ins. And I have a preexisting condition so private insurance is out.

So from being in that position, I would say no, but you could look into health options and see whether it would be affordable to get private insurance... Also factor in that working fewer hours but getting your own jobs/leads/etc. might end up taking more time than you expect. It sounds like you'd be running your own 'business' or acting as an independent contractor? Which I hear is A LOT of work... just a thought. Do you enjoy your current job?

[poppan]

Personally I would not give up health insurance. And one more thing I would consider is whether it will be more stressful to go out on your own. It's much less predictable, as you say. If the income didn't come in one month -- and it doesn't pick up the next few months -- will your family be stressed financially?

Is it feasible for your DH to find a job with health insurance?

[shayinme]

We made that choice 8 years ago and based off my experience I would say no. In the past 8 years we have either had no insurance (too much $$), inadequate insurance or now state coverage that we are losing due to income limits.

In our case we had to relocate due to family reasons and dh went freelance as there is not work in his field here (he is a freelance editor/writer). Initially when we moved I had a job that offered benefits, I hated it and left and have been in insurance hell since. I work but my job offers no benefits and the cost to cover one's own insurance can be costly. The scary thing is we are not getting any younger, and its scary that we have not a thing set aside towards retirement and now my eldest starts college in August.

Considering the state of the economy I would not walk away from a stable job. I have also been on my own as a npo consultant and there is something to be said for stable employment especially when you know your partner's job lacks benefits.

Right now I am the director of a small npo, I love the flexibility but would gladly give it up for benefits.

[1jooj]

I did, but my dh's insurance coverage is quite good, and with the far reduced need for daycare, I might be coming out ahead, even with reduced hours and no benefits. That, and I have a home life that simply cannot function with both partners working FT outside the home. Things would fall apart fast if left untended from 7am-5pm.

[major_mama11]

Personally, I would be willing to give up the other benefits, but the fact that your DH does not have health insurance would stop me.

I am actually in the process of going in the other direction- if I get the job offer I am expecting in a couple days, I will be going from a job with great flexibility but no benefits to a job with crappy hours and less flexibility but decent benefits. Not because I want to give up the flexibility by any means, but the stress of not knowing how much longer my DH's job will remain financially solvent enough to keep their insurance is making this seem like a logical choice to me.

If my DH were willing to apply for jobs with a company that was more stable than his current job and offered insurance, I would totally stay with the flexible job.

[slsurface]

I've had it both ways since becoming a mom. And I have to say, I far prefer working a flexible, part-time job over working full time with good pay and benefits. I recently passed up a top-level corporate job in favor of teaching at a community college. Of course this means that we have to live simply and frugally, because I'm not paid very well. But since my first-born has special needs and I'm expecting our second any day now, I really need something flexible that allows me to spend more time with my children right now. My perspective may change in a couple years, once they are both in school, but for now this works for us and it keeps me working so there are no gaps in my resume.

[GuildJenn]

Probably not, although it would depend. If the more flexible job were stable that would be one thing but I don't love the freelance "hustling" and I'm a worrier. So flexible but not stable means stress for me.

As long as the more stable job wasn't requiring long long hours or jetting off across the pond or something I'd keep it and use the additional stability and income to buy flexibility in other ways (cleaner, lawn care, healthy savings account, etc.)

[mamaofprincesses]

I would probably give up stellar benefits/no flexibility to gain great flexibility/some benefits, but I don't think I would give up your current job!

And I personally have a rule against making these kinds of decisions in early pregnancy, because I am far too hormonal. My youngest (my third!) is 6.5 months old. A month ago, I felt I COULD NOT keep working, that it was just unsustainable, etc. Now we've created some new routines and DH has stepped up and baby is sleeping a little better, and life seems very manageable. I'm glad I didn't quit!

Just something to think about.

[One_Girl]

You have the flexibility I would love to give up my job for. My current job has crazy random hours and ten hour days with an hour drive back and forth. I am interviewing for a job that is more flexible with less hours even though the pay and benefits won't be as good, but going without benefits isn't something I would do because you never know when something horrible will happen.

If your family can afford to have you go to a less stable income so you can have more flexibility, and you are sure that you can afford any start up costs, health insurance for each of you, and the standard malpractice and business insurance costs then I think that it is a good idea. I think you should research it a lot before doing it though. Your kids are school age and 30 hours a week with good benefits sounds like a dream job.

[laurabfig]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Also factor in that working fewer hours but getting your own jobs/leads/etc. might end up taking more time than you expect. It sounds like you'd be running your own 'business' or acting as an independent contractor? Which I hear is A LOT of work... just a thought. Do you enjoy your current job?

Good point. I did a lot of private work in the past, getting referrals and seeing my kids for therapy in their homes...and you're right, the report writing, faxing things to doctors, invoicing, etc. ALL takes time that is not reimbursed directly. So yeah- it could definitely end up being more stressful...I think I need to remember that.

I do like my current job for the most part. I deal with some really difficult parents who have unrealistic expectations on me, and lately that has been REALLY stressful, but even that stress sort of ebbs and flows...it isn't all the time. (I just try to remember the kind and appreciative parents, and remind myself of why I started working with kids with special needs in the first place.) But I do think being pregnant has made me sort of want to just throw in the towel when things get crazy and really stressful at work- like "wouldn't it just be easier to do my own thing?" than deal with school politics, and special education law dictating how I do my job, etc.

Originally Posted by poppan

Personally I would not give up health insurance. And one more thing I would consider is whether it will be more stressful to go out on your own. It's much less predictable, as you say. If the income didn't come in one month -- and it doesn't pick up the next few months -- will your family be stressed financially?
Is it feasible for your DH to find a job with health insurance?

Yes- we rely on my income, and probably not feasible for my husband to get insurance. Or at least not insurance as cheap and as thorough and as good as the insurance through my job.

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

Probably not, although it would depend. If the more flexible job were stable that would be one thing but I don't love the freelance "hustling" and I'm a worrier. So flexible but not stable means stress for me.

As long as the more stable job wasn't requiring long long hours or jetting off across the pond or something I'd keep it and use the additional stability and income to buy flexibility in other ways (cleaner, lawn care, healthy savings account, etc.)

YES! I'm a worrier too- I like to plan, and so stability is important to me. GREAT point about flexible but not stable= Stress!
and great point about "buying" flexibility in other ways. I forget that this is an option we have; that there are ways to make stable work easier by putting supports in place to make it easier.

Originally Posted by mamaofprincesses

I would probably give up stellar benefits/no flexibility to gain great flexibility/some benefits, but I don't think I would give up your current job!

And I personally have a rule against making these kinds of decisions in early pregnancy, because I am far too hormonal. My youngest (my third!) is 6.5 months old. A month ago, I felt I COULD NOT keep working, that it was just unsustainable, etc. Now we've created some new routines and DH has stepped up and baby is sleeping a little better, and life seems very manageable. I'm glad I didn't quit!

Just something to think about.

THANK YOU for posting this. I hope this will be my same experience (and I think it will). My husband keeps saying this to me, but it is nice to hear it from another working mother! Actually- he has said a LOT of things similar to what everyone is posting, but somehow it is helpful to me in a different way to hear from all of you about how you manage working and mothering. It is just different from a father's perspective...and so encouraging to me.