Poll Of The Week #4 - 6/13 - Page 2

[NaturalMama311]

We're definitely finding out, I can't take the suspense of not knowing! We also like to have the name picked out ahead of time so we can talk to the baby and call him/her by name before they are born.

One quick story on this though. When I was PG with DD#1 we were seeing an OB early on and they did an ultrasound at about 14 weeks. She asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said absolutely. She told us we were having a boy. Since we already had names picked out we were calling the baby by the boy name for many many weeks. Then we had the 20 week ultrasound with a specialist and they told us we were having a girl! YIKES!!!

It was very strange to then change gears and get into the mindset of having a girl instead of a boy. Luckily we hadn't made any purchases for the baby so it wasn't a big deal but it was still really strange becuase for 6 weeks we had been calling this baby by the boy name we had picked out.

DH was pretty upset, not because we were having a girl (he actually wanted to have a girl first) but because we had told so many people we were having a boy. Then we had to go back and tell everyone, nope its a girl.

Of course we were happy with the outcome and we now have the most beautiful perfect little girl in the whole entire world

Moral of the story - if they try to tell you the gender before 20 weeks, it is
NOT accurate by any means. The specialist even told us that our OB should have never even tried to determine the gender at 14 weeks because its too early to tell. We also switched to a MW not long after that incident

[babyjelly]

i found out with my girls, but not with my son. i enjoyed not knowing so much more!

[Diyan]

With our first I asked about the ultrasound before the midwife even brought it up because I wanted to find out the sex - I didn't even ask about what else they were looking for. Then our "girl" turned out to be a boy, so my one reason for having the ultrasound turned out to be moot!

Later I started thinking that maybe routine ultrasounds weren't a good idea anyway. We spend so much money on health care, and so often on unnecessary things, and even if our insurance covers it, it increases costs for everyone. I'm not 100% sure routine ultrasounds fall into the unnecessary category (I'm still not sure what all they look for & why), but I thought I didn't want for the next time.

I voted "undecided" because if we do have an ultrasound, I'm not opposed to finding out. My midwife recommends ultrasounds, so I need to talk with her about why. She's also using my LMP to figure the EDD, even though charting puts it almost two weeks later, so an ultrasound might correct that.

[kythryne]

We're not finding out - partly because it's not all that important to us and we think the surprise at the end will be neat, and partly to avoid getting heavily gendered stuff. I don't like enforcing gender roles, and I was horrified when we went looking at baby things for the first time and I realized how much of the gender-specific stuff is really creepily sexualized. My infant does not need a onesie that says "hot jock" or "sexy girl" thankyouverymuch. Most of my friends share my views (and several are gleefully planning to get us bright purple baby things) but we have one or two relatives who would probably think that sort of thing would be cute, and just... no.

[expat_canuck]

Originally Posted by kythryne

. My infant does not need a onesie that says "hot jock" or "sexy girl" thankyouverymuch. Most of my friends share my views (and several are gleefully planning to get us bright purple baby things) but we have one or two relatives who would probably think that sort of thing would be cute, and just... no.

See - this is the one reason that we don't want to find out. Because then we might get sexist crap onesies as gifts. And my child will not be wearing 'princess" or "studmuffin' onesies, no ma'am. But that kind of seems like a silly reason not to find out - we dont' have to tell anyone what we've found out, after all. Plus, it makes me feel really crummy to be worried about how and what other may or may not be so generous as to gift to us and the babe...I don't know...

[Pirogi]

Originally Posted by Diyan

With our first I asked about the ultrasound before the midwife even brought it up because I wanted to find out the sex - I didn't even ask about what else they were looking for. Then our "girl" turned out to be a boy, so my one reason for having the ultrasound turned out to be moot!

Later I started thinking that maybe routine ultrasounds weren't a good idea anyway. We spend so much money on health care, and so often on unnecessary things, and even if our insurance covers it, it increases costs for everyone. I'm not 100% sure routine ultrasounds fall into the unnecessary category (I'm still not sure what all they look for & why), but I thought I didn't want for the next time.

I voted "undecided" because if we do have an ultrasound, I'm not opposed to finding out. My midwife recommends ultrasounds, so I need to talk with her about why. She's also using my LMP to figure the EDD, even though charting puts it almost two weeks later, so an ultrasound might correct that.

Have you talked with her and shown her your chart? A midwife would be more apt to know how the female fertility cycle actually works (or you can explain it to her if necessary) and change your date.

We won't be finding out. I loooooved the moment of finding out the sex last time. Amazing!

[baglady]

I wish I was the type of person who could wait to find out, but I know myself pretty well by this point. I have to find out. Not because I want to buy "stud muffin" onesies (eww!), but because I can't stand surprises.

I was that kid who went digging in the attic at Christmas time. I dig through my husbands drawers and check his email right before our anniversary. I even flip to the last pages of books that I'm reading. I have to know.

We found out for DS but we didn't name him. We knew what we liked and kept the names to ourselves. We waited to see what felt right when he was born, then let the world know.

[QuestionGal]

We chose not to find out with DS but this time around I want to know!! DH would rather not know, he loved that he was the first to know and got to announce it with DS.

[thebeljur]

We won't be finding out. We found out with our first two and were surprised with our third. (I was always the person who said I was too impatient to wait, but, by the third baby, something clicked in me that said...wait.)

Being surprised is GREAT! Really, it was the best treat to have after all that hard work of labor and birth. For me, there's something different about the bonding during pregnancy when I didn't find out. I don't know. It was a little more spiritual because I had to visualize just the heart, mind, and emotion of the baby instead of specific a specific boy or girl. It's hard to explain, I guess. We let the kids announce the gender at birth, so that's another great reason for us to wait. They love that moment, too.

[lillymonster]

I want to know...I don't care when I know - so if I know while carrying or after pushing it doesn't matter to me. I'll know either way, so what is the big deal finding out early. I still got yellow and purple clothes during my shower when everyone just knew it was a girl (even though I kept saying I thought it was a boy) BEFORE I had my 20 week us.

I didn't get anything gender specific at all, I got a lot of green clothes too. I didn't get one pink thing. So knowing if it's a girl a boy at 20 or 40 weeks doesn't seem that big of a deal either way to me, and since this will be my last child, I'll know if I should give away all my girl clothes or keep them for #2.

[kythryne]

Originally Posted by expat_canuck

But that kind of seems like a silly reason not to find out - we dont' have to tell anyone what we've found out, after all.

Very true - but people have been asking me if we're having a boy or a girl literally since the moment I first told anyone I was pregnant, at five weeks, and I don't expect that to stop. And I don't want to lie to them, nor do I want to have to do the whole "we do know, but we aren't telling anyone" dance. So since we don't personally feel the need to know in advance, I figure it's just easier this way.

[Jenne]

DDDC because, hey, baby could come early, I heart Adorkable, and polls are fun!

Dh said, even before we started trying that he would absolutely want to know what flavor. I was pretty much against finding out, liking the idea of the announcement immediately following delivery better. But, I am so opinionated on most things and get most things my way concerning the baby that I will submit to his will on this. I couldn't know that he knew and not know myself so we will both find out.

Jenne

[Tithonia]

Originally Posted by thebeljur

Being surprised is GREAT! Really, it was the best treat to have after all that hard work of labor and birth. For me, there's something different about the bonding during pregnancy when I didn't find out. I don't know. It was a little more spiritual because I had to visualize just the heart, mind, and emotion of the baby instead of specific a specific boy or girl. It's hard to explain, I guess.

thebeljur, thanks so much for saying this! It really articulates for me why it is that I don't want to find out before birth. In fact, when our DD was born, we were so thrilled and amazed by the fact of her existence that we totally forgot to check what gender she was until 10 or 15 minutes after birth!

I remember talking to my sister who found out with both her girls, and she said that although she didn't really regret knowing, she found that once she knew, her daydreams were only in one direction, so to speak, whereas before they had been fuller. So her pregnancy spiritual life was sort of cut in half. It's hard to describe exactly what she was saying, but I think you said it well.

[c'est moi]

surprise, surprise, SURPRISE !

there's just something about not knowing that i love. i love thinking about names for both genders. i love wondering what i will have. i love friends not knowing anything about what to expect. for some of my friends, when they have a baby, there's really nothing to say because i knew the date of c-section, the gender, the name, the everything! i'm not anti-ultrasound, but i don't want to get a 3D one because it also feels like cheating. way too much of a sneak peak for my liking!

[lilmiss'mama]

Originally Posted by c'est moi

i'm not anti-ultrasound, but i don't want to get a 3D one because it also feels like cheating. way too much of a sneak peak for my liking!

I think those 3D ultrasounds are so gross! The pictures they turn out are anything but cute, imo.

[soccerchic21]

If the baby cooperates we are finding out. Not because we want to know what to get for a boy or a girl it just drives me crazy not knowing.

My husband had the idea of finding out but not telling anyone else. It is a cool idea but I am worried I might slip and call the baby he or she on accident.

[Adallae]

In fact, when our DD was born, we were so thrilled and amazed by the fact of her existence that we totally forgot to check what gender she was until 10 or 15 minutes after birth!

Oh, I did this too! I remember thinking over and over, "Oh my gosh, it's real! It moves!" The nurses had to remind me to check.

[crunchynerd]

Since this one is a "tie-breaker" (we already have one of each) I am sticking with the surprise, and am also not intending to have any ultrasounds this time unless the midwife feels or hears or suspects something that would prompt her to recommend one.

DH is a bit disappointed, because he likes seeing the picture, but if this is our last child, I would like to see what it's like to go fully intervention-free.

Switched to a homebirth midwife last time, for my HBAC, but had already had an ultrasound, and found out the gender.

With the first, we wanted it to be a surprise, but then caved at the 20 week ultrasound, but her legs were crossed and so she remained a surprise til the end.

This one being a surprise just feels right! I really like the idea of that big news to tell everyone after the birth, instead of "Well, Little Aiden or Little Madison is finally here!" having it be the more exciting "It's a Boy!" or "It's a girl!"

And unlike the 1st run through, I doubt we will be dying of curiosity... we already have one of each, so it actually doesn't make a difference at all, which it is, beforehand.

[scrappin-mama]

YES! We love finding out. We pick a name as soon as possible and start calling baby by their name. I also want to get dd used to the idea of having a new brother/sister, whichever it is. She's convinced this one is a girl, so if it's a boy, we're going to need a while to get her used to the idea of another brother. lol

[Breathless Wonder]

I voted yes, because I decided that because of my age, I'm going to do the quad screen, and anatomy scan instead of an amnio. If they can tell me then, we are going to find out.