How much electronics (videogames) do you allow? - Page 2

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by NaturalMamma

I guess most of that Waldorf-y lifestyle stuck in our home and has become a part of who DD is as an individual.

She's nine. She isn't done yet!

[Arduinna]

I totally don't get putting limits on the amount of time one can listen to music. Music is a beautiful thing and loving it doesn't mean one is " disconnected" with others they live with. I can't imagine being told I can't listen to music.

We all have our own computers, we all game, we have xbox 360, wii, ps3, ps2, game cube, N64 ect. We only have 1 tv and it's never on for background noise as I find that annoying. Having said that, sure we have had times were we each got really into a game, and then get sick of playing and do something else like read. Both dd and I are big readers, we also go to the opera together and love our iPods.

[Tigeresse]

N64?! Wow, blast from the past!

We love our Ipods too. I just recently upgraded to a classic for more space. We all have them, even 7yo dd, although she doesn't use hers too much.

[Happiestever]

Well I don't have teens yet, but right now my husband and I have agreed that we will not buy video game consoles, only music players. We will instead focus on outdoor sports. It is so easy here though to head to the beach, or play a soccer game or even tennis or basketball, so I take that into consideration that sports are something readily available to all here in San Diego. My philosophy so far is to spend money on sports equipment. We will see how long that lasts as my kids get older.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Happiestever

Well I don't have teens yet, but right now my husband and I have agreed that we will not buy video game consoles, only music players.

We said that!

One year for Christmas, the only thing my kids asked for was a Wii. That's it. Neither of them wanted anything else.

We got them a Wii.

I truly believe that for nearly all families, at some point you have to decide if you are a "my house my rules" kind of parent or a "I trust you enough to let you be different from me" kind of parent. We choose the later.

[Drummer's Wife]

yeah, I didn't think we'd ever own a gaming system - and we didn't until a year and a half ago when we got a wii for our whole family to enjoy.

[littlest birds]

We have never bought one. I don't want one around. Now if it didn't cost me anything then it's fine I am sure it would be no more of a constant turn-negotiating sort of conflict area than computer games are now, in fact it would give more options. But also it's a money decision. To buy a console then you want games, then newer games, etc. and it seems like a bit of a money trap to me. We have struggled over whether to even keep internet on for financial reasons, we aren't fixing or replacing our dishwasher, etc. A lot of things are pretty bare bones for us right now. I'll buy musical instruments before I'll buy a game console. Then again I have never had more than the occasional mention of wanting one. And we have a daughter waiting for a digital piano that she greatly desires. So there is a hierarchy of needs and then a hierarchy of wants, and so long as nobody is acting like it is extremely important that occasional mention of how fun it would be won't inspire us to purchase.

Arduinna I agree the mp3 has replaced cds for our dd so that is her music access and I am mostly glad for it, though I do often ask her to not listen at time when I am actually wanting to converse because she can't hear as well. She doesn't want speakers.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by littlest birds

Now if it didn't cost me anything then it's fine

ours was a Christmas present to the kids. We were going to spend money on them any way, we just chose to spend it on what they wanted for themselves rather than what we thought they should want.

The Wii is very social. Their favorite games are played together and we sometimes play as a whole family for our board game night.

We don't buy new games very often.

[littlest birds]

I think I would then too but it just hasn't happened. I personally don't want one anyway. But if they did we'd weigh it out. Nobody thinks it's important, my oldest maybe but she has just gotten her third MP3 player (a replacement) and that was top priority for her. She's the only one that has talked about it and she has other priorities.

I will keep in mind some of what I have heard about your enjoyment of yours and if it does come up I'll be less likely to be grumpy about the idea. I love learning about making room for greater influence by my children on household/family decisions and more and more they are able and interested in participating. It's been a really enjoyable process so far. Thanks.

A big Christmas wish would be a perfectly good reason to make something like that a more important priority.

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by A&A

My current (summer) rule is:

You have to earn your electronics by reading first. I know, I know, it's not perfect, but it eliminated a lot of conflicts, especially with my 8 yo. He reads for an hour, then he can play for an hour. (Or if he reads for a 1/2 hour, then he can play for a 1/2 hour.)

During the school year, all homework gets done first.

A friend of mine had a similar rule for her son (who is now 18 and in college, so I don't know the current situation). He could earn it with homework during the school year. During vacations, he had to spend an hour reading, an hour outdoors (smog permitting) and an hour doing household chores, and then he could do whatever he wanted the rest of the day, including electronics.

[chiromamma]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

ours was a Christmas present to the kids. We were going to spend money on them any way, we just chose to spend it on what they wanted for themselves rather than what we thought they should want.

The Wii is very social. Their favorite games are played together and we sometimes play as a whole family for our board game night.

We don't buy new games very often.

This is exactly how we brought the Wii into our house and how it's usually used. DH and I bought DDR , some baseball games and Wii Fit and other things that are group and physiically oriented.
The kids buy their own games. They are very discriminating and research the games before making a purchase. We do draw the line at viloence. No Halo, Grand Theft Auto, etc.

[amnesiac]

We don't really limit screen time of any sort. But we do expect them to spend time outdoors daily (weather permitting), we do expect daily chores to be done & we do expect them to participate in family time (which may be meal times or family movie night or weekend outings). Other than that, we don't really limit or give preference to their activities.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by chiromamma

The kids buy their own games. They are very discriminating and research the games before making a purchase.

Games get well researched at our house too! The Christmas we gave them the Wii, my DH asked the people he worked with which games their kids played the most, and based on that we got them Mario Cart (and 2 steering wheels!) as part of the gift. Wii Sports is our family favorite.

One other nice thing about Wii is that you can easily take a game with you to a friends house, or have your friend bring a game when the sleep over. It's not like a computer game that you load on your machine that's it for the license.

[sagewinna]

We have limits on screen time and electronic use.

The older kids each had a gameboy at some point, which was limited to 1 hour a day OR unlimited use in the car. We don't have a tv, so that leaves out a lot of video game things.

They each have an MP3 player, both use it minimally but I haven't limited anything there, it's just been their preference.

Computer time is after chores and other responsibilities, my oldest tends to use it the most. We frequently discuss healthy limits for all of us. The kids share a computer in the living room, and only the oldest has automatic internet access. He played Runescape for a while but seems to have lost interest.

[chiromamma]

For me the video/computer games and TV are like wine. I don't enjoy it until my responsibilities are fulfilled.
I stop at 2 glasses. Occasionally I'll indulge in more.
If I drink a bottle a night, I'll end up fat and needing to abstain all together.

[raksmama]

Originally Posted by chiromamma

For me the video/computer games and TV are like wine. I don't enjoy it until my responsibilities are fulfilled.
I stop at 2 glasses. Occasionally I'll indulge in more.
If I drink a bottle a night, I'll end up fat and needing to abstain all together.

That was well put!

[littlest birds]

That said, you are speaking for yourself rather than your children.

As parents having learned something about moderation, how much are we controlling our children's experience. How much immoderate use might they explore along the way? How much do they participate in the decision?

[chiromamma]

Originally Posted by littlest birds

That said, you are speaking for yourself rather than your children.

As parents having learned something about moderation, how much are we controlling our children's experience. How much immoderate use might they explore along the way? How much do they participate in the decision?

As I see it, it's my job as a parent to guide my kids by sometimes setting limits, sometimes setting rules and sometimes letting them make decisions without my guidance.

I use the alcohol as an analogy with my kids to illustrate the necessity of moderation.

My family's approach to gaming is not an indictment of other's. Nor do I see another approach to gaming as an indictment of ours.
It is our approach based on what we know about the nervous system and emerging concepts in neuroscience

Two excellent books that helped shape our perspective are Evolutions End by Joeph Chilton Pierce and Boys Adrift. I can't remember that author.

[Alexander]

Total Ban. Young kids. Aspies and Autism.

This question depends so much on your child, their maturity, type and their ability to manage themselves socially.

In January, I banned ALL child sourced computer games and ALL youtube due to the adverse effects it was having on my Asperger Spectrum Condition children.

As everyone here probably recognises, young children go through a phase of imitation (that is how humans learn), and this helps them to normalize the behavior.

For Aspie children, this is sometimes drawn out to last a few years longer than normal. For repeating what people say, this is known as "echolalia". This can also be seen in repeating actions (echopraxia). If small children see people being mean on TV, this is copied, and older aspies often are not equipped to manage/ distinguish/ filter socially unacceptable behavior.

Already we have no TV set, and a tough policy on games. Anything that wants to be watched is downloaded and put through the family PC, where we watch as a family. When games are allowed, they must be problem solving types, or creative thinking.

Absolutely NO violence.

Obviously this is not something that I would council for everyone, but for those with young children and kids with Asperger or Autistic Spectrum Conditions, look out for susceptibility to echolalia and echopraxia.

Our ban has had a dramatic and obviously beneficial effect.

[Arduinna]

I don't really like the idea of requiring reading before playing. Mainly because I don't want reading to be viewed as the thing they have to put up with to do the thing they want. I don't want a negative association with reading. It's like a punishment. Or forcing kids to eat their vegetables.