Little update on summer vacation *updated post 53*NEW one 62 - Page 2

[Bad Mama Jama]

they tell on themselves so often. no one even has to flush them out.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Avani

At least his text says he is working and has enough money to pay for a lawyer. That will be good to use for our contempt hearing He says he is unemployed and a full time student and is requesting child support be eliminated. I like that text a whole lot!

I would like that text a whole lot too if I were you!! It makes him look so bad its not even funny!

Good luck to you, I hope that you are finally successful in putting this "man" in his place.

[cycle]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I am not sure who disgusts me more, your ex or the judge. Maybe the judge because he is expected to uphold the law and he is basically allowing your ex to continue to use the system to abuse you. If the judge does not address his behavior and punish him for it I would do whatever I had to do to get a new judge. Good luck momma.

[wytchywoman]

Ugh, what a creep! (((((((HUGE HUGS)))))) mama. I'm so glad you have a good attorney. I'd definitely ask again for him to pay legal fees, especially after all these emergency hearings he's requested and then bagged out on. What a jerk.

[StephandOwen]

I'm coming out of lurkdom for a minute to say.... what a tool! Ugh. Guys like him just creep me out. Let him dig his grave deeper and deeper. If he's anything like my ex (and it sounds like he is) you won't even need to help him. Good thinking sending the text to your lawyer!

My ex sent me an email in March saying that he was upset about our current visitation (I bring ds to his state 4-6 times a year for a weekend, all visits are supervised by me but he refuses to see him for more than 2-3 hours at a time and usually skips all visits anyway. He doesn't contact ds at all between visits) and that he was going to take me to court to have a judge order more visitation (he wants every school holiday and half the summer vacation). I sent him a polite email back telling him to have his lawyer send all correspondence to my house and gave my address. I haven't heard from him since

[Avani]

Thanks everyone. He texted me that he actually forwarded his own texts to my lawyer?! Seriously? So he is threatening me with not paying the back support if i don't cooperate with him and he forwarded that to my attorney. Nice. Yesterday was father's day and the kids never once asked to call him so i just left it at that. I'm sure he will tell the judge i wouldn't let them or whatever. So today is Monday, the day i'm supposed to let him know what day he can pick the kids up. His text said that he would give me until today or he would file an emergency hearing in court. He demands 4 weeks minimum and he would like them no later then July 1st. I'm wondering exactly what he is thinking. My lawyer and I sent him a letter in May discussing what I was willing to offer and he never wrote back, never called and never texted. In fact he stopped calling the kids. He told me and my lawyer he lost their number and was only now able to reach us because he called my lawyer asking for help??!! Huh? I'm sensing mental issues here. The kids are already two weeks into summer break and i signed them up for various camps etc that all cost money and are nonrefundable. and i'm supposed to jump to make 4 weeks available to him when he couldn't even take the time to figure this all out before summer was here. Let's not even discuss sending two little toddlers away for 4 weeks with a man they have seen once in 4 months. Also he is being arrainged for our contempt hearing on August 9th. So maybe he is trying to fit in a visit before going to jail? Anyways last night my lil boy broke out two of his teeth so we will be at the dentist today and i'm not sure i'll have time to respond to his blackmail. Darn.

[MissLotus]

That guy giving himself away. Pocket that little text and yes, it will be a nice little addition to the contempt hearing.

About the corrupt judge: Can you find out who the congressman is in your district? Well, I don't know if that's the right person - but in my area there's a congressman who's very active in local issues and makes himself rather accessible, it seems, in taking up causes. I think you should write a letter to someone like that - not complaining, per se, about the judge's decisions (because you don't want it to appear as if you're simply complaining) but to say you are concerned that a judge in your area does not require involved parties to UPHOLD his decisions - thereby rendering them useless. Cite the restraining order issue. I would keep it fairly brief, but it is possible that other people will have complained about this same judge, and you want to add to that voice, or to have them re-direct your concerns to the appropriate person.

I don't know how to go about making this judge more accountable, but he is the reason your ex is getting away with this garbage. He is corrupt and I think you should send the letter to everyone you can think of. (I know you have enough on your hands right now - but it surely wouldn't hurt and it might help.)

[Avani]

Yes, i will have to look into. It's a judge in San Diego if anyone knows anything about that area. I would actually like to get the case moved to where i am because that would totally dispell him being able to run into court at any moment to file these emergency hearings. I've been living with the kids here for nearly 4 years and i know typically jurisdiction lies where the children reside. Technically everything is done except the judge still hasn't signed off on the divorce (seriously, 4 years later?) and my ex has never responded to my attempts to get all my belongings back. The judge set custody at my ex gets spring break and alternate weekends and he and I figure out the rest. So if i can get it moved to here then my ex would have to travel a long way to do anything!

[MissLotus]

Just saw your newest post (we were posting at the same time I guess) - what does your lawyer say about his "deadline"? If he follows through with filing - and that's a big IF - do you think he'll even show up for court, anyway? He's hoping to make it easy on himself by scaring you, rather than taking you to court.

My temptation would be to let it go, or at the most have your lawyer tell him to refer to the former correspondence regarding the issue (and cite the date you sent it, even better if it was registered mail so he can't say he didn't get it).

I'm wondering something else. Is your lawyer a woman? Your ex does not seem at all intimidated in dealing with your lawyer, and I'm wondering if it's because it's a woman. He certainly seems disrespectful of women, and I wonder if having a male lawyer would help you at all. (Sad that it would have to come to that, but seeing that he's at the Neanderthal stage of evolution, sometimes that's what it takes.)

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Avani

Yes, i will have to look into. It's a judge in San Diego if anyone knows anything about that area. I would actually like to get the case moved to where i am because that would totally dispell him being able to run into court at any moment to file these emergency hearings. I've been living with the kids here for nearly 4 years and i know typically jurisdiction lies where the children reside. Technically everything is done except the judge still hasn't signed off on the divorce (seriously, 4 years later?) and my ex has never responded to my attempts to get all my belongings back. The judge set custody at my ex gets spring break and alternate weekends and he and I figure out the rest. So if i can get it moved to here then my ex would have to travel a long way to do anything!

I think you can have jurisdiction changed without a judges permission. I think you might need to do a little legwork to have it done, but if you go to the family court in your town you can ask at the desk who you would talk to, and what is required. Take your paperwork (all prior orders, etc) and go ask - it can't hurt!!

[cycle]

Originally Posted by thyra

I think you can have jurisdiction changed without a judges permission. I think you might need to do a little legwork to have it done, but if you go to the family court in your town you can ask at the desk who you would talk to, and what is required. Take your paperwork (all prior orders, etc) and go ask - it can't hurt!!

She can petition to have jurisdiction changed to where she and the kids are and the court where she is will request it but the judge and court where it currently resides has to agree to let it go. Given the current judge I am not sure what her chances would be. It would be worth talking to an attorney, a well connected one, in your current jurisdiction, to see if they could get it moved. You have a pretty good case with your ex's numerous emergency motions and then him not showing up. Plus the kids have resided there for so long. It is worth trying.

[Bad Mama Jama]

Originally Posted by Avani

Anyways last night my lil boy broke out two of his teeth so we will be at the dentist today and i'm not sure i'll have time to respond to his blackmail. Darn.

and i know that you were so ready to have to speak with him. darn, maybe next time...

[Avani]

Yes my lawyer is a woman. Good call. She has worked pro bono for me for 4 years. Running back and forth, attending his 24 hour notice emergency hearings that he never shows for. She really has been an angel to me. We haven't discussed his text yet. On thurs and friday she ran around creating responsive declarations and faxing, emailing with me then drove an hour to the courthouse to file and show for my ex's emergency hearing. Only to have him not show. She had to clear her schedule for his crap and had other hearings etc to deal with so we haven't been able to speak. I know she must be getting sick of his crap. I'm not concerned with his deadline of today. If he goes and gets a lawyer and files an emergency hearing he is just going to find out that he can't be heard until his contempt hearing is done with and he just continued that hearing out through August. The kids will be back in school before he can do a thing.


Someone just sent me a link about corrupt judges in san diego and the judge is on the list. He has been sued for malpractice, slander etc over the last few years. I have talked to a local lawyer about getting the case transferred and he said it is a toss up and just depends on the judge. Maybe we can use my ex's excessive abuse of the system as reason besides the fact that the children live here.

[Avani]

Originally Posted by Bad Mama Jama

and i know that you were so ready to have to speak with him. darn, maybe next time...

I really was and those darn, pesky children totally ruined it! But my poor boy! I'm just hoping the dentist will see us. My ex is supposed to pay half the bill and of course he hasn't so he owes his share of $1500 to the dentist as of now. I've been paying my part but he hasn't and the dentist isn't too happy.

[Avani]

So this morning was fun. he started texting me if i was ready to cooperate with him. I told him i was waiting on hearing from my lawyer. He then started on about having thousands of dollars waiting to pay me back all of this child support but if i wasnt going to give him 4 weeks or more of visitation then he was going to spend it all on a lawyer and get the visitation no matter what. I told him my lawyer and I had sent him a letter back in May trying to establish summer visitation but that he never responded. He then started in on how i never had the kids call him yesterday for father's day ( i offered them the phone but they didn't want to call) and how i don't care if he is involved in their lives or not blah blah blah. I responded i was waiting to hear from my lawyer. then he said he was going in for an emergency hearing on wed to that specific judge to demand 4 weeks and he was going to use all my back support money for this lawyer. Good stuff my friend, keep it coming! I wonder how his contempt and modification of child support hearing will go now. Oh and i went and filed a police report stating he was violating our restraining order by not being peaceful. Fun morning.

[Halfasianmomma]

good god this guy doesn't give up. You're a saint avani, for not having put out a mob contract on this guy. Wow.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Oh My Goodness. I cannot believe him! I think you should also use all those texts in this "emergency hearing" that he is oh so definitely going to show up to in order to prove that he is withholding child support to manipulate you.

Wow. What a guy.

[Avani]

He filed an emergency hearing for wednesday morning. Sigh. Shouldn't someone be monitoring this freaking ex parte hearings? where is the emergency?! Some of us have children to raise and this is really taking away from them. The running around my lawyer and i have to do to prepare for these emergency hearings. I'm tired, will someone throw the book at him already? Thank you.

[StephandOwen]

Wow. That is insane. Especially insane is that some lawyer is supporting him in this and not smacking him upside the head. I am speechless. I'm crossing my fingers that things turn out well on Wednesday. Keep us updated! Oh, and are you going to try to make him pay your legal fees for all this crap?

[New_Natural_Mom]

I wholeheartedly think you should contact your state attorney general to get some idea of any recourse you might have. Sit down and make a timeline: 1st, of what happened - abuse, not attending batterers program, etc. 2nd: what you offered for visitation, 3rd: all the emergency hearings he has done.

This is obviously an abuse of the system. Talk to the attorney general and your state representative. Trust me, if you are nice and explain things they will try to help you. Sometimes all it takes is 1 letter.

Good luck!