I think the general ideas work fine for a toddler. DD is almost 3 and totally gets the cause and effect factor. We go to the store and she wants to walk, instead of ride in the cart. I tell her she may, as long as she stays with me and keeps her hands to herself (and I try to keep her busy with tasks like helping me pick 2 lemons, put them in the bag and then in the cart, etc). It only took probably 2 times of popping her in the cart when she wasn't able to hold up her end of the deal (plus she got empathy and a reminder that she'd get another chance the next time), for her to get the idea that if she wants to walk in the store, then she needs to do her bit. She's usually very well behaved at restaurants but was having a tough time one day (I think she was overtired) and began to get loud and rough at the table. I picked her up, took her out to the empty lobby and sat with her there while DH was finishing his meal. She was upset, as she hadn't finished something she really liked, but I let her know that her behaviors were not ok for a restaurant and that I would hang out with her here until daddy was done, if she needed time to be antsy and loud and we could bring her food home. If she wanted to go back and finish her meal, she would need to act appropriately. Either choice was fine and it was her choice. She wanted to go back to the table and was very well behaved for the rest of the meal. I think that if you keep the love part first, the logic part is very useful.
post #21 of 21
6/17/10 at 10:10pm
