Two year old new to playgroup/storytime settings ...

[MariesMama]

I know this is all my fault. I'm fairly introverted and would usually rather stay home than go out and "be social." So I haven't taken DD to storytime at the library until today.

She wasn't awful. She behaved fairly normally for a two year old, but how do I convince her to both pay attention (somewhat, okay, even a little) and to stay out of other kids' personal bubble? We ended up leaving storytime early because she wouldn't stop walking around and bothering other kids who were trying to pay attention or just do their own thing.

Do I just need to take her every week so she realizes how to behave? I can't see her improving without more interaction...

[LadyCatherine185]

There is NO way my almost 2 year old would sit still for storytime. And he has been around PLENTY of other kids, we do playgroups at least once a week, plus he is in the nursery at church every Sunday, etc. Her behavior was completely normal of a 2 year old!

That said, if you want to get her around other kids (which is a great thing to do, IMO) try other things like an outdoor park, a pool, invite someone over to your house for a playdate and let the kids play, etc. Most 2 year olds are very busy and would much rather be playing than sitting quietly listening to stories..

[healthy momma]

I'll just second what the previous poster said. My DS has been going to storytimes with me and many other kinds of playdates since he was an infant. He NEVER sits through a storytime and loves to invade other kids space by giving them hugs. What can I say, I have a lover?! There are worse things. He does do better with playgrounds, the children's museum, parks, etc. He's just an active little guy. No need to worry.

[MariesMama]

This is going to sound really silly, but do I need to chase her / keep her in check? Or, as long as nobody's getting hurt and nothing is getting massively disrupted, do I let her do her own thing?

(I have no experience with small children other than my own ... can you tell :P )

[artgoddess]

It's pretty normal. As the mom of one of those kids who always tried to sit still and pay attention, can I say "Thank you." for not letting your kids invade another kids personal space. I totally get it that two is two and most kids are not going to sit still. But it was really hard for my gentle little guy to have kids basically abuse him, sit on him, give hard hugs that hurt and cough in his face, pull the mat out from under him so he would fall over etc. and then have no parent make any effort to stop their kid from doing this to my son. It was the reason we stopped going to story time for a while.

But I think your little one's behavior is totally normal. And if you just go and try again week after week she may start to get it over time. Don't be upset if it takes a while. Of going, then leaving and wandering around the library for 5 minutes, then go back and try again etc. for months on end. A lot of 2 year olds (and 3, 4 and 5 year olds) find it hard to sit still.

[just_lily]

I think it depends on what she is doing. Personally, I would stop her from bothering other kids, but wouldn't have a problem with her wandering around. My DD usually collects lots of books when we go (there is a big area of just board books) and I let her do this until it is time to go, and then we just clean them all up.

I would definitely remove her if she is being very loud, or trying to rip up books or things like that.

But I agree with PPs that perhaps story time isn't the best activity for her at the moment. Are there any more casual groups in your area where she can just play with other kids?

[MariesMama]

Thank you so much for the advice and support.

just_lily - I'm not really sure about other groups, like I said, I'm pretty introverted and tend to stay home. I did see a sign for a "holistic mama" meetup at the herb store, but I haven't gone yet. I think I'm anxious that I'd be judged for not being crunchy enough!

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by healthy momma

I'll just second what the previous poster said. My DS has been going to storytimes with me and many other kinds of playdates since he was an infant. He NEVER sits through a storytime and loves to invade other kids space by giving them hugs. What can I say, I have a lover?! There are worse things. He does do better with playgrounds, the children's museum, parks, etc. He's just an active little guy. No need to worry.

Yup, my DS was like this as well. He was always meeting people and hanging out with other groups whenever we went anywhere. He's just a social guy and loves to be around people. I'm sure your daughter is being perfectly normal and fine.

My DD is just 10mo and so far she seems to be going the same was as her brother. We went to a party the other day and I hardly saw her while she made the rounds and met all the new people.

[manleywoman]

I asked the same question! So I feel your frustration. We're working on my DS too, so that he tries to understand the distinction that certain times are for sitting still and other times are for running around. It's his nature to run and explore, but I do think he can at least start to learn the difference, even if it's not 100%, or even 50% successful on my part.

He was in a class that just ended wher he had to sit still for 45 minutes once a week, and he got better the last few weeks. We also just recently found a storytime at a local bookstore and he went to that for the first time this morning. He made it through 3 books before getting antsy and wandering the store. I'll take it!

In short, work with your kids nature. Mine's an explorer, but I still am trying to get him to learn that it's appropriate to be still sometimes and not bother the other kids.

[Astrea]

I tried taking DD to story time at our library when she was around 10 or 11 months old (I think) and that lasted all of two times. She absolutely refused to sit still (on my lap or elsewhere) for more than 30 seconds. She'd arch and torque and do anything possible to physically get away from me if I tried to hold her still. And then she'd want to crawl around and grab books and get all up in the other babies' faces--most of whom were sitting still and watching the librarian. So I stopped taking her. It was frustrating for both of us. She's a very physical and independant kid and always has been--once in a blue moon she'll sit still long enough for me to read her a single board book, but generally she makes it through a page or two and then wants to take the book and go look at it on her own. I'm confident this is just her personality, so I try to work with it. We do playgroup (rotates between the houses of the members) and other things like that where she can be active and interact with other kids, and that seems to be working well for her. She liked swimming lessons when we did them. Really, though, that stuff is as much or more for me than it is for her. I think babies and toddlers get everything they need just from being a part of your day to day life (and most of the books I've read agree with me on that).

All that to say that I don't think this is your fault at all, mama--it just sounds like you have a very social, active, independant little guy! I think it's perfectly fine to let him be himself and do his thing so long as he's not really bothering other kids. And I'd ditch the storytime thing if I were you. It's not like it's some vital part of development that will cripple him for life if you skip it, YK? Give a playgroup or the playground or something a shot but don't stress yourself out about it if something particular isn't a great fit. He's little--I'm sure you'll find social settings that work for you eventually, as long as you leave the house once in a while.

[swd12422]

I would go a few more times and see how she does. I think her behavior is normal for 2, and as other PPs have said, as long as she's not invading personal space or being disruptive in any way, she's fine. At our library, the librarian makes the same announcement at the beginning of each session that includes a little note to remove your kids if they cry or start to get loud and bring them back when they're ready, and they have a long piece of tape across the room that the kids are not to cross (so they don't climb on the storytellers or take props). But wandering is allowed, and I think it's a great way for LOs to learn how to behave politely in a group. Better there than the movie theater or a play!

After a few times, she'll either get it or she'll be bored and you can try again in a few months. Or only stay 10 minutes if that's all she lasts before she gets antsy.

[RaeEllen]

Do you have other storytime options near you? I'm in a city, so there are several libraries and bookstores with free storytimes. They all seem to have their own character. Some are just kids on mats listening to stories. Some get the kids up and dancing to music. Some leaders will interact with kids that get up and move around. Some really want only well behaved kids.

Age range also seems to matter. The real little ones lapsit and the older ones in that group want to move around. The 1-2 year storytimes suit my 20 month old best. The 2 year storytimes here include 2-4 year olds, so the 2 year olds can really look immature.

I think your kid sounds fine and you should just look for a storytime (or other activity) that suits!

[dogretro]

Remember, this was your daughter's very first time at library story time. She did not know what to expect & there were other kids to check out and interact with. The way you will get her to sit and listen to the story is to keep taking her. She did not know that she was supposed to sit, but she will learn that both by being encouraged by you and by seeing the other kids do it.

We just started going to a new weekly library story time (had not been to one in a year) & I am really digging it. It is targeted for 18 mos - 3 years, but the age range is HUGE, esp w/ school being out. I mean kids up to 10! It is great b/c the kids are encouraged to listen to the stories, but don't have to, and the librarians read them in a loud, excited voice. There is also singing and dancing and a small easy craft. Afterwards, the kids get to run around and play w/ the toys & books. It is VERY relaxed and I think I will come to love it.

Also, importantly, do not assume that the other kids are "bothered" by your dd "invading their space." Yes, some kids will not like it at all, but you will be able to tell by their facial expressions and body language. Or they may use verbal language. Either way, you will know and can move your daughter accordingly. Some kids do not mind it at all and will see it as an invitation to play. Let the kids who she approaches handle the situation. If the other kid seems to need your help, then help, otherwise butt out

[lisavark]

Another vote for checking out other storytimes. My DD (also born in February! ) has been going to storytime since she was 12 months, and she LOVES it. But the storytime at our library is very interactive...it's for 0-3 year olds, and the librarian has them stand up and do a song with movement (like hokey pokey) between every book. The books are short and she's pretty interactive in the reading, too.

Also, bring snacks and give your LO snacks during the sit-down part. That's the only way I can get my DD to sit still, ever. And it doesn't always work. But cheerios will usually keep her still long enough for the short story breaks between the songs...