OH to AK with a toddler! Freaking out.

[larzanna]

Hi:

So, my husband has an opportunity to go to Alaska for the summer/fall (3 months).
This of course means that i have some decisions to make....
Do i go with him? If so for how long? One month? The whole time?
Or do i stay home as a "single parent" for the 3 months?

My DS is 13 months right now, so would be anywhere between 15-17 months at the time.

I sort of want to go, at least for a little bit, i mean, its AK! How many opportunities will i get like this. But i am scared to take my toddler on that long of a plane ride, probably alone. I can't even get him to sit still for a 30 minute storytime!

Can anyone kind of talk me through some logistics? How would a 4 hours time difference be for a toddler? How many weeks would make a trip like that "worth it" as far as changing DS routine?

signed:
freaking out.

[bronxmom]

If you don't have a job and all other things mean it's possible for you to go with him, I would go for the whole time. A 4 hour plane ride is definitely doable and even if it's a nightmare, it's 8 hours of both your lives. (Is there a reason you would have to fly separately from your husband?) At that age, your kids' world and sense of security is still very much family centered and I don't think it would be too hard for your son to adjust. And, in my opinion, it would be better for you to be able to continue sharing the parenting and for your son to have his uninterrupted relationship with his dad. This of course reflects my bias for equally shared parenting arrangements (where a parenting partner exists). The big question I would have would be whether you would feel isolated/torn from an existing community by going and whether your husband would still have time to be an involved parenting partner and life partner while there (or is this some all-consuming job committment type thing?)

[Peony]

I would totally go. Back when it was just DD1, we used to tag along with DH on trips. At that age I'd figure out where the library, pools, and parks where and we were set for a while. The plane ride isn't going to be fun, (are they ever these days?) but is doable. I just got in over the weekend from a long plane trip with my DS who is that age, he cried some on the plane, our flight went WAY over due to the airport closing and us having to circle. He did amazing considering, and you just keep telling yourself that it is only for a few hours and you will never see these people again.


He will be off because of the time for a bit, but will adjust, that length of time makes it worth it.

[larzanna]

No, its a 9 hour plane ride and a 4 hour timezone difference.
My DH work hours would be just the same as here....so evenings and weekends off.
If i went the whole time i could fly to and from with my husband, if i went for part of the time then it would be just me flying with the kid.

I just don't know.....

[Jenne]

I haven't btdt but I'd do it in a heartbeat! I think traveling is awesome though. If you are in specific worried about the flight you can plan it out complete with activities. Something like:

1st hour on flight: Settle in seats, nursing/bottle during take off, special small snuggly to play with- peekaboo, hugs, kisses
2nd hour on flight: snack and matchbox car driving
3rd hour on flight: DVD
4th hour on flight: snack, small new toy to play with and walk up and down the aisle, nap?
5th hour on flight: snack and snuggly games
6th hour on flight: singing songs, matchbox cars, and walking up and down the aisle
7th hour on flight: DVD
8th hour: packing up, cuddles, nursing/bottle for landing, getting off the plane!

Also, there may be some over-the-counter medicines/remedies to encourage calmness that might be of help.

What does your gut tell you? Awesome experience or nightmare?

Jenne

[spmamma]

We took DD to Disney World when she was 18 months. We live in California, so it was a 6.5 hour flight, plus a layover. It can be done, but it wasn't easy the whole time.

Definitely buy him a seat and bring his car seat on the plane. He doesn't have to sit in it the whole time, but it's good for naps, take-off, landing, etc. And, you can bring activities and one of those travel lap desk thingies that can be used with a car seat to keep him occupied in his seat during the flight (think crayons, flash cards, I Spy Bag, etc.).

I'd definitely go if I were in your shoes. Nine hours of stress is much preferred to 3 months of single parenting in my book!

[Climbergirl]

We have flown several 5 hour flights with DS from all sorts of ages. Our son has done really, really well honestly. It takes time to adjust to a different time zone, but if you are flexible and give yourself a few days to adjust, it will be fine. DS always does better than me in that regard

You probably won't have a straight flight there, so you can easily use the times off the plane for running and playing. You could also try to get a flight that you know will be around nap times.

I would buy his own seat with the carseat. That would be a given. It is familiar and it will probably be more comfortable to sleep.

I say go the whole time and enjoy yourselves!

[mckittre]

The plane flight is such a short time in a span of 3 months. I would just go for the whole time and not worry about the flight too much. The long daylight here might be an adjustment for both you and the kid, but it won't seem long in the span of 3 months. But then again, I think Alaska is awesome (I live there).

[elmh23]

I've never flown with my kids and I would not hesitate at all! IME, little ones adjust fairly quickly to changes like this!

[simcon]

We just spent 4 months with a my 12-16 month old on the other side of the world (20+ hours flying not including layovers, 10.5 hrs time difference). It was wonderful. We love exploring as a family!

Getting a separate seat on the plane is a good idea, and I'd recommend going the whole time so you can fly with your husband (I did the trip solo w/baby one way, with my father-in-law the other--it's doable but not preferred!) On the plane, I just had a cache of small toys and snacks that I just cycled through, plus lo slept (one whole 8+ hour flight--woohoo!).

Sure beats solo parenting (which I am doing now, waiting for the rest of our family to return...we only came back for my job)

[larzanna]

Thanks for the replys. The difference between going the whole time VS only for a month (which means a solo flight with baby--which is what i am scared of) is finding a house/pet sitter. Haha so if any of you know someone who wants a house to live in exchange for watching the pets, in Columbus Ohio PM me!
I am starting to get a bit excited about the whole thing and a little less freaked out.

[daniturtle]

Originally Posted by bronxmom

If you don't have a job and all other things mean it's possible for you to go with him, I would go for the whole time. A 4 hour plane ride is definitely doable and even if it's a nightmare, it's 8 hours of both your lives. (Is there a reason you would have to fly separately from your husband?) At that age, your kids' world and sense of security is still very much family centered and I don't think it would be too hard for your son to adjust. And, in my opinion, it would be better for you to be able to continue sharing the parenting and for your son to have his uninterrupted relationship with his dad. This of course reflects my bias for equally shared parenting arrangements (where a parenting partner exists). The big question I would have would be whether you would feel isolated/torn from an existing community by going and whether your husband would still have time to be an involved parenting partner and life partner while there (or is this some all-consuming job committment type thing?)

Couldn't have said it better myself!
Having said that, I'll still add something!

Four hours on a plane is not bad- you just have to have a plan- a way to keep them busy. You can search the toddler board to find excellent suggestions for plane travel with a toddler- I got lots of GREAT suggestions when we flew from Minnesota to Italy and back. (My daughter doesn't do anything for terribly long, except nurse! hahahaha. But new "toys" are more interesting that old favorites even and will hold her attention longer) You've already got some good options on this thread alone! And as others have said, even if it's terrible, well, it won't be forever! And you'll have three months to relax before having to do it again...and maybe you'll learn something from the first trip.
Time change is not a big deal for my daughter- but we are careful to stick to routines (bedtime and nap) and to expose her to early morning light and evening light (helps re-set their internal clocks, apparently).
I'd go in a heartbeat.