nanny v day care???

[livvie97]

I know neither are the ideal situation for us (I would love to stay home full time), but after 6 months home with the baby girl, I have to go back to work.

i'm torn, I know I have to pick what's best for *our* family, but wondered if anyone has done any research or has thoughts on the subject as to which is better for infants?

We had planned on nanny for 2 months until the daycare spot opens up (a great reggio emilia school with a 1-3 ratio and no plastic toys) but the nanny (an awesome women who seems to really do great with our daughter and spends lots of time with her outside looking at nature) said if we use her full time she'll lower her rate, which makes it almost in line with our (expensive) day care.

The daycare doesn't believe in CIO, and I think she'd be happy there, and it really is gorgeous inside with all the natural materials. On the other hand, they won't do EC, and the nanny will (probably). we've been doing EC part time for about 2 months now, and I'd love to continue. She also just won't get the same 1-1 attention at the day care. On the other hand, I believe that kids need some kind of socialization, and she certainly won't get as much with a nanny. But does she really need much before 1 year or so?

ugh. i'm just hoping someone can help me think through this. It was just sprung on us today, and we have to decide by Friday.

[MeepyCat]

Use the nanny full-time for now. See how it goes. Revisit the decision when the daycare spot actually opens up. IF things are going well at that point, no change.

I have experience of various daycare waiting lists lasting far longer than advertised. For me, until they cash your first check, it's not a real spot.

THe one thing I would warn you about using a nanny is that you do need a backup option - people get sick, they have family emergencies, they need time off now and then. But if you can afford it, it can be an awesome, flexible option.

[Knitting Mama]

I would absolutely use the nanny, and see if she's willing to take your baby to story time at the library, play groups, the park, etc. Even if she's too little to do things like play on the equipment at the park, she'll still be out around other kids!

[annettemarie]

Moving to Working and Student Parents.

[jennybear]

I'd do a nanny until at least 18 months or so.

[HeliMom]

I just wanted to chime in that there are lots of nannies in my parent & child classes. Also I have met lots of great nannies at the park and just out and about. So you child might get all the benefits of socialization with the nanny too.

[K1329]

Obviously, quality of care is key... some daycares and nannies are great, others not. However, I've always been scared off of the nanny option due to the fact that they are completely on their own - no checks/balances in place. No one to supervise them, etc. In a daycare situation, there are usually several adults who can help one another and, in my mind, this provides a level of safety. Also, I would go with the daycare option simply to avoid change in the future if you think it's somewhere she can stay when she's old enough that socialization becomes an issue. JMO.

[Davonia]

I wouldn't worry about socialization until she is 18 mo to 2 yrs old; even then, kids just tend to play next to each other rather than with each other. I would go with the Nanny unless I had problems with not having a backup plan for sick days, etc.

[slylives]

I would definitely go with the nanny. We have a nanny for our daughter and she is worth every penny. We had the same concerns as you re: socialisation, but our daughter goes to so many activities with her nanny and as her nanny has nanny friends, she spends a lot of time with other little kids. Yes, the potential for last-minute cancellations is a problem, but honestly that is the only drawback for us.

[poppan]

If you have a great nanny I'd go with the nanny. I don't think you need daycare for socialization, especially not at 6 months of age. We've gone the nanny route and at some point I did feel my kids needed more socialization than they were getting, so I enrolled them in preschool 2 mornings a week. They were 2.5 years old at that time. They are doing great socialization-wise. My nanny took them to the park and storytime at the library (I couldn't afford to pay for classes on top of paying the nanny, so we only did free things). That seemed to be enough until they were ready for preschool.

I also wonder if a nanny share would be a best-of-both-worlds solution for you? That way your DS would get a playmate and your nanny can earn a little bit more per hour.

[JessieBird]

I posted a different but similar question a while back and you may be interested in the discussion.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1169874

FWIW, the original caregiver ended up moving back to Sweden and so we had the opportunity to try to find another nanny or find another daycare provider. We ended up, much to my surprise, putting DS in the daycare program of a Montessori school. It's nothing like an intimate home setting but it has a 1:3 ratio, is warm and loving, all organic food, all natural toys, and a million other qualities that we just love about it. I never would have expected that a large centre would end up being the right fit for my then 14-mo but it has worked out wonderfully. He absolutely adores it and we feel very secure there. However, one of the nannies that we interviewed way back when still comes to babysit for us from time to time and we absolutely love her, so I still sometimes wonder what if...

It is such a hard decision, good luck!