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Name regrets...what to do? - Page 3

post #41 of 57
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by ebethmom View Post
I like Ella Kate.

Just so it's out there, when I hear Ella Fern my brain turns it into elephant. Sorry.
THANK YOU for sharing that...i didn't notice that!
post #42 of 57
Originally Posted by TranscendentalMom View Post
THANK YOU for sharing that...i didn't notice that!
your dd has a nice name with good flow and tons of flexibility for nicknames. I think the ship has sailed and you need to leave her to her own naming. All the lengthened versions you suggested sound unwieldy to me.
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post #43 of 57
I like all those names, but I should say where I live (urban PNW), they are all popular except for Fern(which I love, btw). Ella more than the others, but not a lot. I have a Penelope (who my husband would have loved to have named Tess!), and she's got more than one little Penny friend, and more than one Violet friend.

Rinna, out of Katherine? Maybe just start riffing with her? I'm curious to hear what she wants to be called!
post #44 of 57

I changed my own name at 7 years old

I changed my own name at 7 years old. I had a speech problem and could not say my R's and my birth name started with a R and it gave me no end of grief. Some girls in school were changing their names for a week or two it was the game du journey that fall, so I used the chance to change mine and never changed back. I did finally end up changing back 7years later in high school once I had enough braces and speech therapy to finally master my R's. But I like both names always.

The funny thing was the day i changed it, a family friend had had a home birth at out house the night before and name their boy something that I in my 7year old wisdom thought was stupid, so I started reading a baby name book laying around to find a better one! That's when I de died to change mine and read the book all day to find one. When I went to my mom later in the day with my " new" name she just stared and me and looked like she was going to cry. I started saying it was ok I would keep me name, but she interrupted me by blurting out that this new name was my name! She had apparently known someone whith a very similar name and was going to name me exactly this name but got some pressure to use a family name and ended up loving the new one she puked, she does not think she ever mentioned the original name again. Low and behold I find it in a book, she figured I was just supposed to be that and took the change very well.

I'm still back with my birth name and love it to bits, it's very unusual for the general non Jewish masses.

I would let your child take the lead, let her know she can change it and if she wants to talk with her about some options, she might be too young to find one all her own. But maybe she can pick a letter she likes and you can find 3 you think are nice and let her try them on?
post #45 of 57
I would consider a change only if my child *really* didn't like their name, but I would also make them live with the 'new' name for a year or so before making it legal. Even if you're having second thoughts, she is still her own person and deserves to make her own choices regarding such a personal matter. I say leave it alone and discuss it with her if SHE brings it up first.

(I am very sympathetic toward your view though, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this )
post #46 of 57
I really, really think you need to leave it alone. Your daughter's name is so cute, and having a middle name after a family member is awesome! Your daughter probably only notices the other ones because you do, and is picking up on that. I'm Jennifer, so boy do I now all about the most common name on earth, and honestly Ella is never going to be a Jennifer. If it is really bothering you I would start with Ella Kate and slowly drop the Ella, Kate is an AWESOME name, and you never, ever hear it any more. Of all the kids at my kids schools I only know one Kate.
post #47 of 57
I like Ella Kate, too. I wouldn't legally do anything now; if she is unhappy with her name as an adult, she can change it. Have you also tried other derivations of Katherine? Kat, Kate, Trina, Katie, Trinie, Rina, Rinie?
post #48 of 57
There were 5 Kristina/Christinas in my kindergarten class. Having a common name was extrememly annoying for me. Fortunately I only JUST recently met another Kristina who spells it with a K, so at least I had that going for me, lol. But really, when I was old enough that it bugged me I was old enough to experiment with nicknames and tell people to call me the alternatives. I tried out a TON of nicknames and finally just stuck with "Kristine" which people assume is my legal full name now.

I'd say ask your daughter what she'd like to be called and go with that. My kids each have various nicknames and different people call them different things. But we respect what they want to be called. I couldn't change a name legally ar this point, I'd try some nicknames first and then after a few years if you both agree to legally change it then look into it at that time.

Nickname examples my kids used to show ho wthey don't have to derive fromt eh actual name.

Joscelyne: Ozzie, Joscey and Jo
Andrew: Andy and Fred. (yeah, long story, lol)
Mackenzie: Mac, Mackie, Max or Sophia Grace (middle name) She says only mom is allowed to call her Max though, lol, its short for "Maximum drama queen"
post #49 of 57
My best friend as a kid had the same first name, and the same first 4 letters of the surname as I had. There were four girls with our first name in our class. There were 6 girls called Mary as well. Most of us were called after mother, grandmother or aunt, so we all usually had at least one relative with the same name, and usually at least one cousin with that name as well. I actually have 4 cousins with the same first name.

It never bothered any of us. I really don't get this thing about it being bad if someone you know or someone in your class having the same first name. Or the posts about people "stealing" baby names (what, you copyrighted it?!). It just seems like a strange obsession to me
post #50 of 57
my dd's name is Eva Natalie. we pronounce it Eh-va or Ava (the spanish pronounciation) to make things easier, often if i have to call an appointment or use her name for something that is impersonal, to save time i will tell people her name is Eva (prononced EE-va, the english pronounciation) i love both way sto say it. she has noticed that i use the different pronounciations and has asked me. i explained how people say it differently and how lucky she is that she can be called so many different things (we also call her evita and i told her that another nickname if she wanted it was Evie). so, sometimes now she says her name is one way, sometimes the other.
her favorite name is Natasha-which is the nickname for natalie in russian. so, sometimes i call her natasha-because that is what she wants to be called.
her middle name- natalie- is from my grandmother. recently, some family history came to light and i don't want her middle name to be natalie anymore- i don't want to honor my grandmother with that. so i am considering legally changin her name to Eva Natasha. she loves Natasha and when i told her that we might change it so her middle name was Natasha she was quite excited. to her it is as if she chose part of her name.
i would let her choose a name- i wouldn't say that you dislike her name, i would casually mention that sometimes people choose their own names and that the parents can change it to whatever a kid wants to be called. she may say- why would i do that? i love my name-and then you know that you can't change it. or she may think about it and come up with a new name. if it is something you really detest you could brainstorm other names with her, but at least know what direction she is going.
the russian nickname for katherine is Katrushka. or Katya
post #51 of 57
I have the same prob!!!!! Mine is Ellie - for my favorite aunt - but found out later she was really a Petranella - so we now call her Petra or Nella pr Ellaellapetranella!

A nickname will stick eventually!

(I also almost went with Tess....or Freya.....)
post #52 of 57
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post
your dd has a nice name with good flow and tons of flexibility for nicknames. I think the ship has sailed and you need to leave her to her own naming. All the lengthened versions you suggested sound unwieldy to me.
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I agree with this.
post #53 of 57
I think you should keep Ella Katherine, BUT explain to her that there are these other names that you would love to give her...offer her Fern, Violet, & Penelope, with explanations with each of them...& ask her which she would like to add as a 2nd middle name.

I think you should add it after Katherine, since she's had that name for 5 years now. I agree that you need to be careful not to talk negatively about her name to her/in front of her because as a 5 year old it might be a big part of her identity, or she might confuse you not liking her name as you not liking part of HER.

This is why my partner (X) & I spent 2 months to name each of our children! Then we gave them each 5 middle names :-)
post #54 of 57
I had a friend growing up that was legally Amanda for 9 years, but was always called Bridget. If you want to change it go ahead and do it! But see if you dd likes it too. I don't really care for my middle name, but whatever.
post #55 of 57
I'm with the you can call her something else as long as she's okay with it camp. My one daughter has the name Mary, but we've always called her Molly - which is a diminutive of Mary, but really seems like it has nothing to do with it. My other daughter has a name that is acceptable in the US, but where we're living now, it sounds (not spelled like) the word for "girl" so on the playground, people may think I have an unnamed daughter. Each of my girls has an animal nickname (can't remember how that came about) which I interchange with their own names, so I call my youngest "Kitty" when we're out and about (especially playgrounds!).
post #56 of 57
i go by veezie in everything in my whole life... my bf doesn't even know how to spell my real name. my mom and dad took 9 days naming me (also expecting a boy) and then a few years later, my mom found out my dad had named me after his ex-gf! so she called me veezie lu from then on. in school they always started off the year by saying very loudly to everyone, my real name... but after i warmed into a few months of school i would gently tell the teacher what i prefered to be called, veezie, and then all the kids would follow suit. no one ever got confused or weirded out. it just organically came about. by the time i was out of middle school, and my mother had died, i knew i had to address it more confidently, so on the first day of school, i'd get to the teacher before hand, and say, "just call me veezie." this battle to be called the name i identify as has ensued ever since. and i often consider changing it legally. i wish my mother would have... it would have saved me a lot of hassle. plus, my real name isn't common, but sounds similar to some common names, and i would have to simultaneously have to correct people that it wasn't that name AND inform them that i am actually called veezie anyway. alot more confusion than if my mother just would have effin' changed it!

if your kid doesn't want to be called something, whether its a legal name, or a corny nickname, or a mispronounced version of their name, they don't have to be... i would respect your child's identity. if she is unhappy, let her change it. its not up to you or anyone on here... its up to her. at ANY AGE. if one of my kids suddenly said they are a girl and call me molly... well.... molly it is. if they said, i hate being the 5th kid to arrive with the name frankenstein.... well, let's call you something else. it IS after all, they're identity, not ours.
post #57 of 57
At 5? No, I don't think you should be changing her name. An infant, no biggie, but not by that age. Kids are a lot more attached to their names than people realize, I think.

I empathize, though. I wouldn't name my oldest what I did if I could do it over.
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