What are the *right* reasons? - Page 3

[CatsCradle]

I think that when you body makes you physically uncomfortable, it's OK to fix what hurts.

I agree but I'll take it a step further and say that if it involves mental anguish, the ability to correct something that is a continual catalyst for low self esteem is okay too. I think there is a difference between doing something to achieve an unachievable ideal (whether cultural or not) and doing something because it helps you feel a little better about yourself. Contact lenses were the greatest invention in my lifetime, in my opinion. Sounds silly (probably to non-visually impaired people), but freedom from glasses, especially for someone who has had to wear glasses since toddler-hood, did huge wonders for how I felt about myself when I walked out the door. It is not medically necessary for me to wear contacts, but I'm glad that the option was/is available to me. While not surgical, it is one of those cosmetic changes that I cherish. True, there are lots of cool glasses out there but I'm glad I don't have to think about now. I would even consider eye surgery although it is not medically necessary.

OP, I don't think that the answer lies in what other people think is "right" or "wrong" but what is right for you. It would be easy for me to sit here and say that your motives are wrong, but based on what? I don't have your body or your experiences or your pain. Just as others don't have to live with my body day to day.

Sorry, the contact lenses thing may sound like a lame example but this one issue helped me realize that what is right and wrong is more often than not grey.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by DariusMom

No, I disagree with your naive and utterly unfounded view of some unnamed cultures and how they view beauty. I don't disagree with how you live your life, nor the choices you have made for your life. I don't know those, I don't particularly care about those, and I wish you the best of luck with them.

This is so harsh and unwarranted. The poster you are speaking of didn't talk about unnamed cultures. The only culture she mentioned was the US culture which, I think most of us would agree, has an over-all narrow view of female attractiveness.

That being said OP- go for it if it will make you feel better about your body and increase your quality of life! I want a breast lift someday but I just took a look at before and after pics and it is startling how nice looking the before shots often are. It's nice to think maybe my own perspective is similarly skewed- maybe my breasts aren't *that* bad

[mambera]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

my own sister has had lap band surgery 3 times, put in, taken out and put back in due to the pressure by her husband to conform to his idea of attractive. She has never been anywhere near obese. We are talking maybe 30-40 pounds. I think a therapist would have been a better idea.

I totally agree with you that lap banding is way overkill for 30 lb, but FTR 30 lb overweight *is* obese unless your sister is 6 feet tall. Obese is 20% over your ideal weight (by the old definition - the new def uses BMI and it's harder to talk about in terms of # of lbs overweight), so if her ideal weight is anywhere under 150/200 lb, 30/40 lb extra puts her in the 'obese' category.