4.5 yo "attacks" me in play

[ZoshaMosha]

My 4.5 yo dd has started to regularly physically attack me, but not in a malicious way, ha! I'm really unsure how to react. When she is really tired and wound up, she likes to play this "baby coyote" game where she jumps on me, scratches me and bites me. It's not always in the context of the game either. Her bites are often "love bites"-- last week at a birthday party, she was very tired-- she jumped into my arms and then sunk her teeth as hard as she could into my neck, leaving a mark that didn't heal for days. Ow! She knows biting is not ok and she never bites other kids.
Last night, she was very tired and put on a super monster face, ran to me with both claws out, and proceeded to try to take a chunk out of my leg. I instinctively responded by smacking the side of her head to get her off me. I felt horrible. I don't believe in physical punishment, but my reaction was completely impulsive. I apologized profusely and I'm embarrassed I hit her.
So this situation is out of hand. I notice that she might have some sensory issues with her mouth. When she is tired she also bites her clothes, often to shreds.
I feel like I have told her over and over that it's not ok to bite and scratch and hit even in the context of playing, and she is always sorry, but it is still happening.
Ftr, she never attacks out of anger, only in play. What do I do?

[BetsyNY]

Ding ding ding! Absolutely right re: sensory issues. For a period of time with my son, I couldn't get anywhere near his mouth--I had to turn him around for hugs, because any kind of pressure around his mouth was a cue to bite.

Try chewy tubes or chewelry...a Google search should give you a good start. I like these:
http://chewelry.ca/ because they're really discreet.

[Marsupialmom]

I would respond to it in a more playful manner. Ask her what mommy dogs do to nippers. They admonish it somehow, isolation and not playing anymore is one corrective measure.

You can talk about being mommy puppy and how mommy puppy and other puppies don't like nippers and won't play with them.

[skreader]

Originally Posted by ZoshaMosha

My 4.5 yo dd has started to regularly physically attack me, but not in a malicious way, ha! I'm really unsure how to react.

Ftr, she never attacks out of anger, only in play. What do I do?

It sounds like you really dislike this "game" of hers.

If that is true, you could try to consistently say "I don't like to play this way. It hurts me and bothers me. Please stop it." Repeat and repeat. Consider reminding her and adding a consequence.

Perhaps she's also doing this to seek physical contact? If so, something along the lines of "I hate it when you pounce on me. It scares me and hurts me; but, if you want a hug or a cuddle, I'd be glad to. Next time, ask."

You have a right to your physical integrity, and the right to say no to games and activities that you don't like, just the same way your daughter has a right not to engage in physical play that hurts her or that she feels uncomfortable with. By modeling a positive response, you will be doing her good later.

[ZoshaMosha]

I love the chewlery idea! I just ordered a necklace from the website you recommended. I hope it does the trick.

I feel like I've told her over and over that I don't like the game, but it's like she's unable to control it. I've noticed that during the summer months when there is an excess of light, she really lacks sleep. She doesn't get to bed until 10:00 or 11:00 pm most nights. This takes a serious toll on her impulse control. It seems that she also becomes very sensory seeking, needing lots of rough house play. I rough house with her alot, lots of tickling and stuff, but maybe she needs more.

[sgmom]

OP: I'm sorry, but I don't have any advice to offer, but this interests me greatly. My daughter is very big on putting things in her mouth. It never would have occured to me that it could be a sensory issue (perhaps her need isn't being met with my constant requests to not put things in her mouth, or maybe a different sensory need is lacking and this one's being heightened in compensation). I mean alll kids do this to a point.

I LOVE the chewlery idea, but I'll often let her wear her old teething necklace and she'll suck on the cord instead. My harmony balls though go straight in mouth. Scary.

She never stops moving (even if she's laying down quietly, she'll fidget and kick her legs), and she has to touch EVERYTHING. Right now she's laying on the couch with her head on the arm of the couch, and her feet are going from seat to floor, to seat to floor (repeat), but she hasn't moved her head in 10 minutes.

I'm going to look into this some more. I'm sorry I'm of no help you to you though.