So . . . um . . . is anyone thinking about the next one?

[Sorin]

'Cause we are.

DD is only 8 weeks, not sleeping regularly, nursing around the clock, and can be quite a fuss-box at time. And we've been talking about #2! Are we crazy? The thing is, I'm 36 (will be 37 at the end of this week!), Dh is 40 (will be 41 this year), and we would like to have another kid before we get so old that we have to use a walker to chase them around the playground!

Actually, I just would like to have #2 before I turn 40. DH has the attitude that if we have them fairly close together (not 9 months apart or anything, but maybe 2 years apart), then we get this grueling baby-work out of the way in one (sleep-deprived) shot. I have a friend whose boys are 1 1/2 years apart--she got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 10 months. She said she really doesn't remember that first year with both of them, but now at around 5 and 7, everything is great. Another friend of mine had a 2 year old and newborn twins! Life was absolutely insane for a while, but she says that their childhoods were some of the best years of her life (her kids are now adults). On the flip side, my cousin has a 5 year old and would like another baby, but now that things are so much easier, she's not sure she's ready to get back into the intense baby stuff again.

Anyway, just ramblings from a postpartum mama. It is easy to think about #2 when DD is currently napping like a little angel!

[feminist~mama]

My DD is currently napping too- lol. She's not quite 4 weeks, and we've been talking about another since just a few days postpartum.

You're not alone. You might be crazy- but at least you have company!

[GreenTeaGinger61]

We've been discussing since dd was 2 days old After an unexpectedly great pregnancy, and an amazing birth, we thought well maybe one more I'm holding off from any rash decisions though LOL. We already have four so it's not like we're lacking in kids. If we do though, we'll wait until dd is 2 to start trying and look at having a three year age difference. I HATE the two year age difference. My girls fight all the time. I like five years the best but I'm too old to wait that long. I'll be 38 in August and would like to have the next baby (if there is one) when I'm 41.

[Peace+Hope]

sorin!

the first time we talked after chalire was born, my husband said he felt like there is a little girl out there we just haven't met yet

i'm also 36, turning 37 in september, and if we're gonna have another it would be soonish. i can't imagine the logistics of two under two though. maybe we'll see how EC goes first, heh.

i like the idea that they'd be close in age for sure, also doing all the baby stuff in one chunck of time.

then again, life would be so simple with just one.......

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Originally Posted by Peace+Hope

then again, life would be so simple with just one.......

Not according to my friends who have one

[leavemealone]

I think about another one, but DH doesn't. He thought he was done after two and really knew he was done after three. Since #4 was unexpected, he's certain he's done now. As GTG said, we have four so we aren't lacking for kids. I do feel there is another girl out there, but DH doesn't so we are done.

[Pepper44]

I am anxiously awaiting the next one! We talk about it all the time. DD is already excited, lol.

I think I want to start TTC the summer after Ada turns 1. Maybe.

[smeisnotapirate]

Totally thinking about #3.

And yes, we're all crazy. Certifiably insane. But that's ok. We're in good company.

Originally Posted by Pepper44

I think I want to start TTC the summer after Ada turns 1. Maybe.

Yup. I need to get baby #3 in before DH's 31st birthday (October 2012), and I like this 2 year spacing (so far).

[ivymae]

Well, we had three in 4.5 years, so I approve of the "get all the diapers done at once" method of child spacing.

That said, if we have another it will be a couple more years. Becky's pregnancy was just so hard that the idea of having three at home to take care of PLUS another horrible pregnancy makes me want to run away. Maybe when DD1 and DD2 are in school I would consider trying for another. Maybe.

[Knitting Mama]

I'm definitely ready for #2. My husband reminds me that it would be really hard to have a newborn and an 11 month old, but I can't help it. I loved being pregnant, and I love having a newborn, and I want them close together in age. I don't think I'm even ovulating yet though!

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

I would love to have another daughter so that DD can have a sister-- I my sister and can't imagine not having her in my life. Also, I'm committed to homeschooling, and it seems like almost a waste to put all that prep work into educating only two children.

This pregnancy and birth were pretty amazing, so I'm looking forward to experiencing those things again. However, I really, really don't want to breastfeed while pregnant, and I'm happy with the length of time I breastfed DD. So... no serious trying until this baby is 2-ish.

So far, I have been VERY happy with the three-year spacing of children. DD is potty trained, old enough to stand by the car while I strap in the baby, old enough to walk by the cart in the grocery store, etc.

[Knitting Mama]

MPP, I feel the same way about my sister, and I want Cecilia to have that relationship as well!! I really hope #2 is a girl so they can grow up together, close in age.

[krismarie]

HAHAHA. no.

well, i guess i am, but i know i actually couldn't handle another one for a while...and dread more ppa/ppd...
but the thought of him being my last makes me think there will be another....someday.

[GreenTeaGinger61]

Originally Posted by ivymae

Well, we had three in 4.5 years, so I approve of the "get all the diapers done at once" method of child spacing.

That said, if we have another it will be a couple more years. Becky's pregnancy was just so hard that the idea of having three at home to take care of PLUS another horrible pregnancy makes me want to run away. Maybe when DD1 and DD2 are in school I would consider trying for another. Maybe.

We did the first three in 5 years! Then I waited five years for the next one so that says what that spacing did for me LOL. I really do love a five year age difference for me but for the kids three has been really good. Umberto was old enough to not need me as much when Camille was born so good for me but the best is that Camille and him have a wonderful relationship. They're all close but Umberto and Camille actually play together without fighting.

Anyway, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about if there is another one out there. I really really want one more but I battle with feeling guilty about over population, not really having tons of extra money, etc.

[Shazer]

I keep thinking that our family is not complete, that it would be with one or two more kiddos. However, I've had two unplanned cesareans and I feel like my body went through hell with the last. As much as I catch myself daydreaming about having more babies, I know it won't be feasible for quite a while. Plus, AF didn't come back for close to two years PP with my first. So I have about two years before another pregnancy is possible.

[DoulaAlicia]

I'm not sure I would want another. I can see maybe having one more....but pregnancy was not the greatest. Bleeding so much after birth was SCARY. Sticky shoulders/dystocia was a little scary. Thyroid becomming under-active for the first time ever during pregnancy sucked. Now I'm on meds forever.

But - I feel like their might be a girl out there. I have four boys! I had a dream last night that I adopted a pretty little blonde girl named Madeline. Weird because I never thought about this during the day at all.....just dreamed it out of the blue. Don't even really like the idea of adoption (for me anyway, others it really is great) so it was a funny dream.

DH is COMPLETELY DONE though. And talking about the big V. He could've stopped after 3 children so 4 is plenty for him.

There is part of me that is excited to stop though....really get in gear and concentrate on my kiddos that I have. When I'm pregnant and babies are small I feel like most of my energy is on me/baby and the other kids really lose out. Looking forward to really being in tune with their needs.

Oh, and 2 yrs. apart was NOT good spacing for us!! My number 2 and 3 boys are 2 yrs apart. They fight constantly. All I do all day is referee their fights it seems. I think it depends on the personality of child #1. I was scared when I was pregnant with him because he was so rough and so naughty and so high needs. But I thought it would all work. Well, it didn't work well. He hit me and baby all the time and was really terrible to deal with. He is 5 now and STILL annoys his brother PURPOSELY all day. He pokes him, teases him, and sometimes hits/kicks and hurts him. He loves tormenting him. So, 2 yrs. apart was tough for us. But I think if I'd done that from my first to second child it would've been EASY!! So, I say to evaluate personality of older child and go from there! Also your age is a huge factor too.

[Carita]

i'm only thinking how not to. i really feel complete.

[ann_of_loxley]

Of course I am! But then I really don't feel like I will ever be done having children - even though DH says he is! lol

I would go for a similar age gap though or even bigger. My two are 4 years nad 7 months apart and it has worked out SO great! I am not one for insantiy! lol

I am only 25 but DH has two years to go until he is 40 years old and he really doesn't want to have children past 40 because he wants to be able to run around and play with them. Personally, he could just get in better shape for that as men can 'have babies' at any age lol ...I still have my whole life ahead of me - We could squeeze a few more in! lol

Though I kinda feel like we are lucky iykwim. The thought of attempting a third makes all the thing that could go wrong even more 'known' to me - if that makes any sense. I have had two emergency sections - of course I would be trying for another UBAC if we did try for a third...but what if that turned into another section? As I was being wheeled into theatre with Hamish, the realisation that I could not wake up from this was a very realistic thought that crossed my mind for a split second.

[Dena]

Well, if money were absolutely no object, I would go for another.

And by money not being an object, I mean we would have so much money that I could hire a couple of mother's helpers, not have to work, have a house big enough for all of us, and sit on a beach in Hawaii for nine months. That kind of money.

So I guess we're done.

Seriously, its a little bittersweet, but I feel complete with the four we have, and for the first time in over a decade, the realization hit me the other day that if I turned up unexpectedly pg, I would not be entirely happy about it.

Now, given the fact that our odds of conceiving on our own are like 1 - 5% in any given month, we are not going to prevent anything, and if we do end up pg we will just figure that God really really really really REALLY wanted us to have another baby. And I am fine with that. I just no longer feel the need to proactively create a child, if that makes sense.

[nikirj]

I am really, really loving the 5 year spacing. But it does mean diving headfirst back into life with a baby right when things were starting to get really easy. Still, this has been the easiest spacing by far (others were 2 and 3 years apart).

I feel really, totally done. It's kind of agonizing getting rid of all the baby stuff as we're out growing it and knowing it's over, and I can't help but "what if?" myself a little. But I think our family is complete now.