I posted long ago that DH and I had opposing views. Backstory: DH and I both graduated medical school this year and he has performed the procedure. (I refused but was required to observe for credit). So we both know the ins and outs of that. DH was also aware of the fact that there were no medical benefits. He fell back on the "look like dad." I sent links and articles and would get replies to quit sending him things and that "any son of his will be circ'ed."
We had our son at 36 weeks via c-section for severe preeclampsia. DH decided that we could wait to circ him outpatient so his penis would be bigger and they would be less likely to take off too much skin and cause chordee.
Our son is 7 weeks old now, and I thought DH forgot all about it. He told me last Friday that he had made an appt. for the circ. this week. My heart sank and I was actually planning on packing us up and getting out of town if I had to.
In the meantime I sent videos, and links, and expressed my conviction, and my fears of complications. I told him to look into his son's eyes and tell him he was going to pay to have him hurt, and he did.
Then I think what really tipped the scales was this article: http://www.circumstitions.com/Sexuality.html
He decided not to take away that extra sensation just because it was done to him. He still has hangups over DS looking "weird" and "ugly" but I assure him that it is all relative. DS will see circ'ed men and think they look weird. And that most people will never see his penis. I assured him that he will see that dad's is bigger, darker (DS is mixed black and white), and hairy and if he asks about it we just say he has foreskin and daddy doesn't. I said we will probably have more anxiety explaining why he is different from mommy than him! I am so proud of myself for not driving us to the brink of divorce while standing my ground. I am proud of DH for getting past his African culture, peers, and his own experience. We agreed as physicians have to weigh the risks and benefits including the option of doing nothing. We have some relatives and friends already saying how gross it is, but even more who are coming out and saying if they had it to do over again then they would have left it alone.
We looked our son in the eyes this afternoon and told him he could stay just as perfect as the day he was born. Then DH had to make some crack about if he gets a girl pregnant because sex feels so good then I have to take care of the baby.
We had our son at 36 weeks via c-section for severe preeclampsia. DH decided that we could wait to circ him outpatient so his penis would be bigger and they would be less likely to take off too much skin and cause chordee.
Our son is 7 weeks old now, and I thought DH forgot all about it. He told me last Friday that he had made an appt. for the circ. this week. My heart sank and I was actually planning on packing us up and getting out of town if I had to.
In the meantime I sent videos, and links, and expressed my conviction, and my fears of complications. I told him to look into his son's eyes and tell him he was going to pay to have him hurt, and he did.
Then I think what really tipped the scales was this article: http://www.circumstitions.com/Sexuality.htmlHe decided not to take away that extra sensation just because it was done to him. He still has hangups over DS looking "weird" and "ugly" but I assure him that it is all relative. DS will see circ'ed men and think they look weird. And that most people will never see his penis. I assured him that he will see that dad's is bigger, darker (DS is mixed black and white), and hairy and if he asks about it we just say he has foreskin and daddy doesn't. I said we will probably have more anxiety explaining why he is different from mommy than him! I am so proud of myself for not driving us to the brink of divorce while standing my ground. I am proud of DH for getting past his African culture, peers, and his own experience. We agreed as physicians have to weigh the risks and benefits including the option of doing nothing. We have some relatives and friends already saying how gross it is, but even more who are coming out and saying if they had it to do over again then they would have left it alone.
We looked our son in the eyes this afternoon and told him he could stay just as perfect as the day he was born. Then DH had to make some crack about if he gets a girl pregnant because sex feels so good then I have to take care of the baby.
