My bf and I have been dating for almost 3 years and have known each other for over 20 as his sister is my best friend. His son has always displayed aggressive physical behavior and it has always been an issue. It seems to be more controlled as they are getting older, I guess I mean less consistent. We are working on a house my bf just purchased with the intention of moving in together. Over the last month his ds has put 3 different marks on my ds. My ds is what my bf and others call a "cry baby". I tend to agree that my son has a tendency to cry over just about everything that doesn't go his way, however, my bf's ds is definitely a bully and my son has learned thats how he can prevent some of the hitting or whatever he decides to abuse him with. His son has some pretty severe behavioral issues. My bf has admitted on several occasions that his son has "issues" but to date, he has done nothing that myself and others, family, have insisted such as counseling. My bf says that we try to micro-manage our kids and I agree but I don't see any other solution to his kids out of control behavior. The bullying is not the only issue. When I am forced to discipline which is simply a time out, he is physically aggressive with me and he speaks to me very disprectfully. He says things such as, "you're an idiot, you're stupid, you're not my boss, my mom was right". He's 5. Obviously that brings to light another issue. For the first 2 years of our relationship, bf's ex consistently told his son that my son and I are bad people, drug addicts, and such. She was the type to say anything awful thing she could in front of the child and even on one occasion said that she was going to be honest with her son and tell him everything. Mind you he was 3 and 4 at this point. It wasn't always just about us either, it was about bf and his family. This has been stopped and hasn't happened for a little over a year, however, as you have read, the damage has been done. I'm so stressed out, my dr thinks I may have ms, I'm scared to give up my home to live with someone that is denial of their child's behavior problems who could possibly seriously hurt my son. I don't want to hear that I should end the relationship, I want to believe that there is something other than that I can try. Any suggestions?
post #1 of 9
6/16/10 at 12:00am