1 year old taking up to an hour to feed to sleep

[always hope]

Ella used to feed to sleep at night in about 20 minutes, sometimes 30 but recently it has taken up to an hour. She feeds and crawls around and swaps sides and throws herself around the bed and then finally winds down and goes to sleep. Should I be doing more winding down things before she goes to bed? What about moving her bedtime later? She is definitely tired and wants to go to bed, she giggles and rubs her eyes when we walk into the room. She has a shower and some stories before bed. I suspect it is just a stage and she just really has trouble switching off but am hoping I will at least find some other Mums lying in bed for ages every night. Don't know what I would do if we had another child.

[kalamos23]

No help here - we have had the same problems for over a year. I finally got to the point where I sit on the laptop and just don't pay any attention to DD other than nursing her - any attention seems to stimulate her and gear her up again. The laptop helps me from being absolutely bored to tears, and then I don't feel bad for being on the internet for so long, kwim? Usually after a while she will get bored enough to go to sleep.

[Adallae]

My DD is the same age (born 6.4.09) and we're experiencing the same thing. Sometimes it helps to take her for a walk before bed. If I let her get super tired, she falls asleep faster, but wakes more frequently.

[karika]

dd2 nurses for 30 min to an hour a lot of times. I don't think I have ever timed really though. she nurses for a long time most every time she nurses, except those quick hits during the day when she is racing chasing her sister. I go to bed when the baby does. We sleep together. I bring laptop, crosswords, snacks , water, watch pocketdish or vcr tapes... I am not 'waiting for the baby to go to sleep so I can do other stuff'. If you get up after she falls asleep, she probably senses that and will do anything to stay awake to keep you there too. dd2 has fallen asleep without a breast in her mouth a few times now. I see her growing up already, but i knew it had to happen sometime. With dd1 I was impatient. Like, when will this child let me have 10 minutes to myself? but dd2 is last baby, I am older, and I see they do grow up, as dd1 spends tons of time without me now. The first 2 years are the most 'attached' timeframe. The child is physically attached to you for the most part. But after that, they go to sleep without nursing, they don't care if you are there for naps anymore, soon they will be saying, "Leave me alone so I can play this game on the computer" Try to be as physically, emotionally and mentally attached as you can and then when they are going to bed without you, you will fondly remember how they used to switch breasts, do acrobatic nursing, twiddle and fiddle the other nipple, and break off and smile at you...

[dahlialia]

Karika, how do you make this work with DD1? My DD2 goes to sleep somewhere between 6 - 8 pm; DD1 doesn't go to sleep until 9 pm, and she's not the kind of kid who likes being alone

OP- this is similar to what I posted about yesterday. My DD2 (10 months) is now taking an hour of playing around on the bed, before she can fall asleep. Which I can do, when DH is here to help DD1. But I'm dreading the nights when he's not here.

[Adallae]

Karika, how do you make this work with DD1?

Ditto this question. I'm not sure how we're going to make this work when baby #2 gets here.

Thank you for your point of view having an older child, by the way. It's hard to keep that in mind sometimes when you're exhausted and really wanting some time to yourself.

[always hope]

I actually stayed up and fed Ella to sleep on the couch last night while watching T.V. Then held her for about an hour before moving to bed and feeding her off again. It was much feaster and more peaceful for her. She does seem to get really frustrated when it takes a long time for her to get to sleep. I often go to sleep with her so am not always leaving.

[Chamomile Girl]

I'm right there with ya. My kid will nurse for like 30 seconds, then roll around on the bed, then want to nurse, roll, rince repeat. He's not getting to sleep lately until after 9pm and that leaves very little time to get anything done afterwards.

Luckily for me he does not wake if I leave the room once he is asleep.

[karika]

Originally Posted by dahlialia

Karika, how do you make this work with DD1? My DD2 goes to sleep somewhere between 6 - 8 pm; DD1 doesn't go to sleep until 9 pm, and she's not the kind of kid who likes being alone

OP- this is similar to what I posted about yesterday. My DD2 (10 months) is now taking an hour of playing around on the bed, before she can fall asleep. Which I can do, when DH is here to help DD1. But I'm dreading the nights when he's not here.

I am not sure, ..... I don't keep a schedule, so that may be a factor. They are 5.5 yrs apart too. dd1s father is also here (we are divorced, but I am living in his house right now). When dd2 wants to go to the bedroom, I go with her. dd1 just keeps doing whatever she wants to. She does watch dvr recorded noggin shows, plays on the computer, and reads books (she is an old 7). Her father does sleep a predictable schedule, so dd1 hangs out with him if we go to bed without her. He sleeps in his room, and she was cosleeping with him on his predictable schedule but I recently have been getting her in my room again in anticipation of us getting our own place. If I had to do it alone, I bring dd1 into the room with us and let her play on computer or turn on a movie on the tv, or let her watch the pocketdish. I do have a much easier time if they go to sleep at separate times tho. If they are in the room together, they usually stay up playing. If dd1 is asleep, dd2 doesn't understand and messes with her, trying to wake her up. But if dd2 goes to sleep first, I can sit up playing cards or games or whatever with dd1 in the same room with dd2. So taking dd2 to bedroom first is what works for us, with dd1 joining us after dd2 falls asleep. I would have no problem with letting them play and stay up as long as they want though, but too much noise late at night peeves exdh off, so we work within the parameters given for now.

[voxana]

Yeah, my 13mo is doing the same thing. I wonder if it is time to stop nursing him to sleep....but I dunno how to make that change!

[musicteachermom]

Things that have helped with this with us or with friends are:

1. Getting an earlier bed time. If they stay up after they are tired, they kind of get a second wind and have a hard time winding down after that.

2. Going to bed with them, like already mentioned.

3. Getting plenty of outdoor time during the day.

4. Ignoring them in bed, like already mentioned. My husband actually helped with this. For a while, I nursed our son, now 23 months, then he would get really active and playful. I called daddy up then, and he would interact with ds for couple minutes then turn over and ignore him. There were a few tears, but husband comforted him, then turned over again. DS would roll around some, then get bored with no interaction and fall asleep. This is actually what we are currently doing, and ds falls asleep rather quickly with this. I try to do this method, but ds knows I have the milk, so sometimes he accepts that "ba-bas" are all done, and sometimes he doesn't and I give in.
I'm trying to think back to how it was at a year, and sometimes we would have the long night-times, though usually those were phases and passed.

Hope something helps!