Switching Midwives

[Mandala126]

Hi All,
I guess I'm looking for encouragement, for someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing.
I'll try to be short:
I had DD1 and DD2 in the hospital with a CNM. All natural, as good as you can have it in a hospital. She's great but she has to follow hospital rules and she flips out when something doesn't go according to the book (like when I measure 2-3wks bigger, or if I have to reschedule an appt).
I've been seeing her for this pregnancy (I'm 24wks now) and I just found a homebirth midwife 1/2 hr from me who takes my insurance. I think this is heaven!!!
So... I really want to switch to the CPM and leave my old hospital midwife. But do people do that in the middle of pregnancy? I mean, what do I tell my old midwife? She's gonna flip.
I haven't seen the CPM yet, I have an appt next Thurs. but I really feel comfortable with her on the phone. I have another appt with the hospital midwife before that, for lab work and rhogam (I really don't want to do that stuff anymore).

So, would you do it?

[purplepaisleymama]

I feel that since you are the one who is pregnant YOUR feelings and comfort are the most important right now.... you should be happy and as stress free as possible for this pregnancy. It sounds as if you have a great opportunity to have a homebirth... with a midwife who takes your insurance! The situation that you are describing with the CNM sounds like it could be very stressful and potentially cause some interventions that you might not be comfortable with. If it were me I would cancel the appointment with the CNM for next week.... give yourself the time to meet and visit with the homebirth midwife, if you get along with here and are feeling comfortable I would just find out what information the homebirth midwife would like from the CNM's office. Sometimes you will be the one to contact the office to get your records ( if she would like copies of them) or the homebirth midwife may contact and request them. You would have to sign a release of records for her or one at the CNM's office usually to allow the transfer of medical information.

I switched from my CNM for primary care to a homebirth Midwife at almost 8 months with my second child....it was so worth it... I had the homebirth that I wanted and so much less stress than I would have experiences with having to leave my older son to labor and birth in the hospital.

I just had my last visit with my backup CNM for this pregnancy, I am now officially discharged as an active patient and I will only call if I need any additional stuff ( bloodwork, u/s or other medical procedures related to my specific health issues). I am so lucky to have finally (after 4 homebirths) a CNM who is happy to give backup care and be hands off for the pregnancy

Congratulations on your pregnancy.... and enjoy the excitement of having a birth that YOU want
~laura

[Mandala126]

[QUOTE= The situation that you are describing with the CNM sounds like it could be very stressful and potentially cause some interventions that you might not be comfortable with. [/QUOTE]

Yes, she wanted to induce me with DD2 because I was 8 days over and my 42wks were going to be up on Thanksgiving and hospitals don't induce on holidays, so she told me, so I couldn't even go full 42wks (I went to my chiro instead and woke up in labor the next day)

Thank you for your kind words.

[*MamaJen*]

Originally Posted by Mandala126

So... I really want to switch to the CPM and leave my old hospital midwife. But do people do that in the middle of pregnancy? I mean, what do I tell my old midwife? She's gonna flip.

So, would you do it?

Yes, people switch care providers mid-pregnancy all the time. Congratulations on finding a new midwife that you click with.
To make it easy, you might email your old midwife saying thank you for the excellent care you received in previous pregnancies, but you've made the decision to have a homebirth. That way you don't have to make it about her -- it's about your choice of home vs. hospital.
Good luck for an amazing homebirth!

[Artichokie]

it sounds as though your first mw is extremely controlling. I honestly wouldn't even tell her in person. I'd make the switch and have the new mw's office request your file. If she wants to know why, just tell her you've decided to pursue a homebirth.

[Mandala126]

Originally Posted by *MamaJen*

To make it easy, you might email your old midwife saying thank you for the excellent care you received in previous pregnancies, but you've made the decision to have a homebirth. That way you don't have to make it about her -- it's about your choice of home vs. hospital.
Good luck for an amazing homebirth!

Thank you. I thought of what to say to her since she is not keen on homebirth at all. I thought I'd just say I found a provider that's closer to me and it's true, the old mw is an hour drive from me. But you're right, it is about my choice.

[Mandala126]

Originally Posted by MoreThanApplesauce

it sounds as though your first mw is extremely controlling. I honestly wouldn't even tell her in person. I'd make the switch and have the new mw's office request your file. If she wants to know why, just tell her you've decided to pursue a homebirth.

Yes, she is controlling.
And I don't think I will talk to her in person if I can avoid it.
Thank you!

[St. Margaret]

It sounds like the distance thing makes a perfect excuse, if you do need to talk to her. I switched OBs halfway through with DD (to Dr. Wonderful ) and just switched. The new office got the records from the old office. I figured I didn't owe that mediocre first guy any explanation! Good luck!

[Mandala126]

Originally Posted by St. Margaret

I figured I didn't owe that mediocre first guy any explanation!

[laughymama]

People do it all of the time.

I recently met a woman who switched from her OB at 27 weeks to a homebirth midwife. He was a very medically minded OB too, did not "allow" any options for his patients. She actually told him to his face at an appointment that she would not be returning because she "found a delightful, capable homebirth midwife" to attend the birth at her home instead.
I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall in THAT room.

Women switch care providers more often than you think during pregnancy. I think if you know what's best for you and your child then you need to do that.

[DoulaLMT]

I just switched a few weeks ago at 24ish weeks. I just told the old midwife that I felt the best thing for me and my family was for me to change to a different provider. she was very nice and offered to send my records before I even asked. I was dreading the call, but it turned out fine and it felt great after it was done. I'm MUCH happier with my new midwives and am SO glad I switched! Totally worth it.

[aromamama]

I switched midwifes at 39 weeks (not a typo). We had agreed upon what my birth would be like and the original midwife flipped and changed everything we agreed on because of HER fears at 39 weeks... I fired her and hired another midwife and met her officially during the birth of my baby one week later. I had the birth I wanted and nobody elses stress or fear along with it.

I HAVE NO REGRETS. Do what is right for you, not for the midwife.