Moms expecting #5 (or more)

[Breathless Wonder]

I thought I would start a thread for those of us expecting our 5th child.

5 is definitely feeling so much more daunting to me than 2, 3, or 4 was! Maybe it's because I have a pretty big age gap between this one and my youngest...I'm so out of practice! Maybe it's because my oldest will turn 18 the month after tha baby is born... I don't know.

I'd love to talk to other moms about the joys and challenges of having a large crew of kids. 4 kids seemed like a biggish family to me, so 5 feels like

[SumnerRain]

#5 feels huge to me too. Four was a nice even number, # 5 is the last seat in my minivan. My oldest is not as old as yours, but next year I losing all my boys to the public schools. #1 will start high school, #2 will be in middle school, and #3 will be in Kindergarten! How old is your youngest? My gap is in the middle, my older two are close together, 14, 12, then huge gap and 5, 2, and this one.

[Beverly]

I'm slowly wrapping my head around the idea of #5, but I've got pretty much the same concerns that you mamas have. My oldest is a little younger than yours -- she'll be 14 in September -- but I'm still daunted by the idea of her celebrating her 20th birthday before this newst little one starts kindergarten. Yikes.

[AngelBee]

Expecting 6th biological baby

[tillsup6]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

Expecting 6th biological baby

Me too. I actually found the addition of No.5 really easy. My kids are still fairly young but at least independant. For me the biggest challenge is time. It takes us so much time to get out the house. I am not very organized by nature but with the additon of each child it causes me to become more organize, which has been a good thing. Another hard thing is that we get a lot of comments like "Are all these your children" or "Jeez, you got your hands full". I use to answer them hostilally or give the mind your business look. But I have started saying stuff like "yes, is it great" " We have so much fun" because my kids were feeling as if that is was a bad thing to be in a larger family than the norm. But yes it is challenging but it the rewards are far greater. It is never a dull moment around here. My kids are just as excited about Peanu no.6 as ever!!

[gemgal053080]

lol .. I will definitely give it to ya'll ladies ...here I was whining to my DF because this is our third and I didnt know how I was going to manage?

I have a question for ya'll that do have large families , did ya'll come from a large family ?

I was wondering if me wigging out was because we (me and DF) both come from small families (we both are the oldest of only another sibling ) hell I dont even know anyone that has 3 kids themselves!!! So everyone keeps acting like we are criminal or something?!

I dont really care though, this is probably not going to be our last so I guess they will just have to get use to the idea...lol

But enough about me back to the subject at hand ...I just wanted to say that I love reading about how large families work and manage everything. My hat is definitely off to ya'll

[SumnerRain]

This is #5 for us. I grew up with 2 sisters, one who left when I was 5, and the other when I was 10. My husband is the oldest of 5, 6 if you count the one he didn't meet until he was a teen, and was never raised with, one of the 5 also lived with him every other year. I was the pulling force of having a large family, not him. This one is a complete shock though, we were both feeling done with our 4th.

[Beverly]

My husband and I are both the oldest of three, so large families aren't the norm for us. I always knew I wanted at least three, and probably four. This baby was a surprise, but we hadn't entirely ruled out a fifth some time down the road.

[theboysmama]

we are expecting our 5th and it was a big surprise as we really aren't in the place financially to add to our family. I am not talking about extras either, just the basics. I am not as much worried about how I will handle this many emotionally as has been a real blast so far. Our home is just age appropriate, somewhat organized chaos. But I am very concerned as to how we are going to deal with 7 people in the space that we have and be able to afford a family this size not just now but in the future when they eat like crazy and we can't cram 3 large teenage boys into an already small room.
My kids are all about 2 yrs apart. Three boys ages 8,6, 3.5, and my little girl is 18 months. I know it will all work out but can't help but worry how.

[Breathless Wonder]

Welcome theboysmama, and everyone else!

Sorry I haven't checked in on this thread! I'm so tired, and feeling quite unmotivated these days! I'm sure you all can relate!

How is everyone holding up? Have you all shared the news with your other children yet? How did it go? Have you begun sharing the news outside of the family? Are you sorting through whatever stash of clothes/ diapers/ equipment etc. you have yet? Thinking about sleeping arrangements, and time management?

We shared the news with our kids last week. Our oldest told us we were crazy. And he made sure to remind me that I wouldn't have his help with diapers etc, so I'd better start training the 3 younger ones now! He's also a bit disappointed that he won't really be around to truly get to "know" this baby.

The other 3 kids were very excited, though my younger son said the baby needs to be a boy, so he isn't alone with his sisters when our older son leaves for college next year. The girls don't care what gender the baby is- though I think the younger one is hoping for a baby sister that she can eventually do "make-overs" on, like her big sister does for her.

We have shared the news with a few select individuals outside the family. You know, the ones we know WON'T say something hurtful. I've been "God blessed" a few times, and told we were brave more than once! We have no idea when we are telling everyone else.

I really need to start going through the baby "stuff", getting it organized, and seeing what needs replacing. I know I need to get on that soon, because the second trimester, and feeling relatively "human", goes so quickly!

gemgal053080- Yes and no to the large family of origin. My DH is 1 of 2. I am one of 4 blood related (1 full and 2 half siblings), 8 of us total by marriage (counting the steps). But in reality, I was raised with just my 1 full sibling for most of my childhood. The half sibling that lived with us wasn't born until my late teens. I did, however, have well over 30 first cousins growing up- all on one side!

Originally Posted by SummerRain

# 5 is the last seat in my minivan

We've thought about that too! When we bought our first minivan, we only had 3. Someone made a snide comment about all that room we would have, and my DH told them we would just have to have more kids, to fill the seats. I THINK he was joking, but... I suggested maybe we move to an 8 seat minivan, or a conversion van, but got an emphatic "No!" from DH.

AngelBee and tillsup6- Glad you dropped by! I should edit the title of the thread...

[theboysmama]

[QUOTE=Breathless Wonder;15598090]
We've thought about that too! When we bought our first minivan, we only had 3. Someone made a snide comment about all that room we would have, and my DH told them we would just have to have more kids, to fill the seats. I THINK he was joking, but... I suggested maybe we move to an 8 seat minivan, or a conversion van, but got an emphatic "No!" from DH. QUOTE]

We have a dodge sprinter that we absolutely love and it seats 10 so even with the girls I nanny we are good to go. Our other vehicle is a mini-van and it will now be full with our kiddos so if we have anyone extra we will have to take the sprinter.

We told the kids about a month ago bcs we were at disney world and they wanted to know why I wasn't going on any of the roller coasters. They were all extremely excited. We have pretty much just told whoever.

[stormgirl]

This babe will bring our tally to 5, we each have 2 kids coming into our relationship, and this is our first baby together. I totally laughed at the 'last seat in the minivan' comment, b/c ....thank the stars for my Sienna!!!!

[SumnerRain]

We have an Odyssey, so technically we could put in the 3rd seat in the 2nd row, then my van will fit 8 (6 seats in the back), but with all the car seats having the mini-seat in makes it hard to access the 3rd row without climbing over seats. So no more kids, there is no more room in the van.

[Breathless Wonder]

Just bumping this up.

Heading towards the end, and trying to figure out how I'm going to juggle the older kids, and the new baby.

I need to decide by tomorrow afternoon if we are signing the kids up for basketball.

There's just so much that we're going to have to adjust.

How's everyone else doing?

[SumnerRain]

Oh my goodness, I too am starting to freak a bit about logistics of #5. My kids go back to school from winter break on Jan 3rd! I just realised I will be 41 weeks and may either still be pregnant, or have JUST had a baby and starting to kind of get worried about waiting outside for the school bus in January with my PM Kindergartener with a new babe, AND my 2 yr old for 5-10+ minutes every afternoon, possibly twice a day. They are predicting a lot of snow this year too, where last year they had none. Since the stop is a block away and across the street, not waiting with him is not an option.

I already had to tell my 13 yr old he will NOT be able to join scouts, because with my husband possibly deploying a month after I have this little one, and 4 other kids, I just cannot juggle it. Thank goodness for my older children, I could not imagine doing this without help, especially with my husband gone so much.

[AngelBee]

My biggest concern is hsing with a newborn. lol  I guess we shall see.....

[Breathless Wonder]

Glad to see other people posting to this thread!

AngelBee- Honestly, one of the EASIEST things to do when you have a small babe is to snuggle in bed and read to the older children!  BTDT.   I don't know what kind of homeschooler you are, but if you let go of some of the "structure" in the early weeks, and let the kids come to you and the baby, where ever YOU are, it is much easier!  The computer can also be your best friend.  I let one kid use it, while I work with the other, so they aren't off making mischief.  Hands on activities can also serve this purpose- think play dough at the kitchen table, or a sensory table filled with sand, or beans or water that they can only use when you are working with someone else.  When the weather gets nicer again, we will do "school" outside, in the fenced back yard.  That way, they can get some sunshine, fresh air, and movement in between needing to sit still, and they aren't messing up the inside of the house!  That's when we will break out the paint, and chalk...

We've been working on feeding/ stocking the freezer and pantry with easy to reheat meals, and healthy, quick grab snacks.  Has anyone else been doing the same?  I'd love to hear what you've put aside for after the birth...

We're also working on streamlining the laundry situation.  That will help make getting out of the house, when needed, a lot easier.  

Each kid has a plastic basket in their room for dirty laundry, and one of these for inside of it:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/17228340

Everyone has been assigned a laundry day, and they are expected to bring the bag of laundry to the washer on their day.  There should be no reason for laundry to get thrown on the floor, because the bin never leaves the room!  Only the bag does! 

I've decluttered clothes, and moved most shirts onto hangers.  I find I end up with less "mess" that way. 

I also got these from IKEA:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/40096166

Each of the older kids has been assigned a color.  Their hangers are that color (so I know when I find one left on the floor who it belongs to, and no one can monopolize all of the hangers!), and the storage container from Ikea is that color as well.  The Ikea storage containers come in a 6 compartment size, and a 3 compartment size.  I use the 6 compartment size to put together full outfits in advance for the week, when they put their laundry away, and the 3 compartment size is for sports equipment, cool weather accessories, etc.

We did end up signing the kids up for basketball.  The gym where it is held is really close (within walking distance- 1/2 mile), and they don't practice at all on Wednesdays.  We were also able to specify one other day during the week when our family wasn't able to practice.  So that means practices will be held on Tues., Thurs., or Friday, and games Saturday.  AND they were okay with my oldest bringing his siblings over- I don't need to be there!  I decided it was a good idea, because it means one or more less kids in the house, a couple of times a week, and more quiet for the baby and I!

I'm also shopping around for a postpartum doula and/or Mother's Helper.  Going rate around here for a postpartum doula is $15-25/hour.

Any other ideas for staying sane would be welcome!

[Breathless Wonder]

Wondering how those of us with larger are families are doing?

[SumnerRain]

Hanging in there.  Life is pretty busy here, and I am starting to worry about how I am going to fair the next few months alone.  I transitioned my 2 year old out of her crib, she gave up the binky, and now we are potty learning.  Hubby took paid time off though so he's here to "help".  I need to get better at delegating because I am starting to resent that he gets to play a video game while I am trying to sweep the floor holding a screaming infant, while moving his stuff I asked him to move, then him fussing at me because I didn't zip his bag first and his crap spilled out.  $#*@^$@.  My hope is that in a couple months we will have gotten in a routine of not having daddy here, and Liam will be going longer stretches between being on the breast and maybe sleeping better at night.  We still don't know exactly how soon he's leaving, or if he will be gone for 6 or 12 months.