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Is this too much for him?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
DS is 2.5 and VERY active. It's way too hot (for me) to spend much time outside at the park, so I signed DS up for an indoor gym class. Lots of room to run around, things to climb, etc. It's a mommy and me style class, so 1 instructor and 6-8 kids with moms who help corral their own kids and follow the class (loosely).

DS has been a few times and LOVES it. But he has a hard time staying on task b/c there's so much to do, and so many kids there. (There are several classes of varying ages going on at once, and we all just rotate around the room to different stations to keep out of each others' way. So there are dozens of kids there, but only a few in our particular class. It sounds chaotic, but it works really well, I think.)

Anyhow, I wanted DS to learn how to follow instructions since he's never been in school or any sort of structured environment. He's getting better, but he still doesn't stay in line for the activities. He's sort of all over the map, and today he cried a couple of times. When we talked about it later, I thought he would say it was b/c I scolded him to listen to the teacher, but he said, "Kids." I asked him if there were too many kids there and he said yes.

He says he wants to go back, and he has a good time there, but he's just not used to so many kids in one place yet. We do storytime at the library and he clings to me and refuses to dance to the songs most of the time. But he always wants to go, and always likes it there.

Do we just need to give it time, or is this too much for him? Any advice on how to teach him to focus on what he's doing in class rather than worrying about the other kids?
post #2 of 5
The focusing/standing in line thing is something elementary school kids have a hard time with, so a toddler managing it would be pretty impressive, IMO. Developmentally, he's wired to check out everything and explore it all through touch/action, so standing, listening, processing and THEN acting (and only in one way) is going to be a pretty big leap. Impulse control when they are highly stimulated is tough.

And follow his cues about being overwhelmed by the amount of people. Is it the kind of class you can sit out for a few minutes and then join back in? Has he made a buddy who he can do the activities with? I'd say keep going/giving him the oppertunity to get used to the activity, but don't push him or make him feel like he has to be having fun. my DD1 will be shy for a few minutes and then zoom - off she goes to tell everyone her name and about her new cat, and about her sisters, and that she likes waffles. My second daughter is painfully introverted (I joke she's the only kid who begs to go home when she's at the park) and pushing her isn't going to change that. She still goes places with us because I still think giving her the opportunity to come out of her shell is important, but I am okay with her sitting with me and drawing.
post #3 of 5
Maybe try a pre- nursery school where iy is a smaller class size but there are still ots of activities to particpate in. Many of these are mommy and me stlye so he is just getting practice in a classroom environment with Mommy right there but also the opoortunity to socialize. There is on ein Ny called Poppyseeds. I am not sure where you are locate dbut maybe there is a school with similar class structure
post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
BlissyMama, thanks for the recommendation. I'll look into that to see if we have something similar here. Thanks!
Ivory, yeah, I do realize that developmentally he's not meant to stand in line and be patient -- thanks for the reminder! B/c while I do know that, it's easy to forget when the teacher is wanting to keep order, and then of course my desire to follow the rules kicks in, instead of remembering what DS needs. I think that's where my stress is coming from.

Tonight he kept saying he cried at the gym, and it was b/c of all the kids. When DH asked what we did today, and DS started to talk about the gym, DH asked who was there and DS said, "Kids." Usually he says the teacher's name. So maybe he just finally noticed all the kids there today, or maybe there was just a vibe (one of the other kids had a tantrum before and then again during the class). I just hope he doesn't develop a fear of crowds/other kids. He's so social naturally, but seems to be hitting a shy phase.
post #5 of 5
What about an 'open gym' kind of thing? Where you can go at a quieter time (but still have some kids around) and less structure so he doesn't have to wait in line etc... my DS is only 16mos so maybe things will be different soon but I just have a hard time imaging DS handling a situation like that a year from now!!

Same thing with story hour, maybe get together with just a couple of kids and do your own story hour? (we do this, though in addition to regular story hour, and it's my favorite thing, there's usually only 3 kids and DS seems to really enjoy it & HE'S the one sitting still listening!!)

If he's telling you it's too much, I think it's a good idea to listen to that, but I think you can do it in a way that will eventually lead to him being comfortable in situations like this.
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