DS groping other women

[4myfinn]

So, for the past couple of months my DS (9 months old) has been so interested in breasts, and not just mine. It seems that when any women holds him he checks her out. He touches her, sometimes tries to stick a hand down her shirt, other times he tries to get a peek, and occasionally he'll just nuzzle right in and get comfy.

It's kind of . . . funny and embarrassing at the same time. He does it when he has just eaten so I don't think he's signaling hunger. I think it's just curiosity. Is this normal? Can I get him to stop or should I just wait for him to grow out of it?

[lotusdebi]

It's embarrassing, but totally normal (in my experience). I'd gently remove him when it's a problem (for us, it was an issue in swim class and with a salesperson, but not with grandmothers or aunts) and apologize while also making a witty comment or explaining that he loves to nurse. You could try remindng him something like, "That's not Mommy" so that you're making clear that he can touch your breasts but not other women's.

[4myfinn]

Thanks, lotusdebi. It's not an issue with friends or relatives, just strangers and acquaintances. Today we were at the chiropractor's office, and while she was trying to work on him he grabbed her shirt and took a good, long look at her chest. She laughed but I was embarrassed.

I like the idea of, "No, that's mot Mommy." Hopefully he'll start to get the message.

[PoppyMama]

I've never thought of this as an issue. Small children are allowed to grope and ogle me at will.

[texmati]

A good friend of the family has had a double masectomy. I about died when ds started crinkling her prothesis. She laughed. I think most people don't have a problem with it-- if they do you can just say Oh I can hold him if he's getting unruly.

[Nicole730]

Totally normal and I was never really embarrassed by it, I figured he was a baby and he liked to explore his surroundings. Now he still sticks his hands down my sister's shirt at 2 years old, sometimes mine too. I just calmly take his hands out. I don't want him learning that it's "wrong" just yet.

[cristeen]

My guy did this to a pg mama at my mw's potluck. Luckily she thought it was funny and we all got a good laugh. I haven't noticed him doing it to anyone else.

[kismetbaby]

ha ha ha ha. . .sorry I just had to laugh at your thread title. Maybe he's practicing for the future? LOL

I think most BF babes go through this at some point. And I think most women will be understanding. I remember this happening to me before I had my own. I wonder if its less uncomfortable with a daughter? Not that it should be, I just wonder how much our culture is already creating tension over gender issues with something like this (just a personal curiosity, nothing about you or your situation).

[NEastMomma]

Your post made me laugh! I have absolutely been groped by babies and I always just laugh. I really think people "get it" and actually get a kick out of it.

A friend's exclusively bottle-fed baby used to do this to me (and others) frequently and my friend would shrug her shoulders and say something like, "He can't keep his hands off beautiful women!"

[ann_of_loxley]

Well - hes your typical boy...checking out the all you can eat buffets! lmao

[russsk]

When DS was little he would just stare at my mom's chest whenever she visited (which wasn't very often). My mom thought it was pretty funny, and would tell him "My face is up here!" DS is just staring at her chest in all of our pictures of the two of them. He didn't do that to anyone else until he was about 14 months and we had another couple - DH's colleague and his very young, very well-endowed gf - over for dinner. DS really took to the gf and she was really sweet to him. During dinner he toddled over to her and was checking out her pocket or something. She leaned over to talk to him and he reached up and groped her with a huge smile on his face. It was hilarious. She pretended to be shocked then laughed it off.

[4myfinn]

Oh, all of your replies made me laugh. It's so nice to know it's normal. I kept racking my brain trying to remember if any of my 13 nieces or nephews did it, and I vaguely remember it with a couple of them. Most of them were formula-fed or weaned very early, though.

I do think it's pretty funny too, but I just wish he didn't do it with strangers. Who knows- maybe they find it flattering!

 

 

Edited by 4myfinn - 4/11/11 at 8:58am

[AFWife]

DS learned early on the difference between boys and girls. I'm also quite, uh, blessed in that department so it wasn't so much "oh, she has boobs too!" it was more "hers are smaller..." He only tried to look down the shirts of women that were small chested...kind of like he was double checking or something. A childless friend of mine from high school thought it was hilarious.

[Norasmomma]

LOL-my son does this to my BFF all the time, she's the only other woman he sees on a very regular basis and so he grabs her boobs all the time.

I've been groped by many a babe, but I do have to say the boy babies are much more into boobs, it just seems like a biological thing or something. I'm not lacking in the breast department so our little guy goes for the cleavage.

The kid gropes me constantly, even when he's not hungry, it's just something he does-booby boy, just like daddy

[akind1]

I've always been groped by babies, I assumed it was part a comfort thing (often when I was babysitting, and when they were sleepy) and part curiosity.

DS always is checking out the boobies. I swear, he was only 2-3 months old at the time, but he was checking out the cheerleaders while we watched the superbowl. It seemed to be his favorite part!